I feel like an outcast at work because I am a going to be a “young mom”?

Question

My husband and I are planning on conceiving soon. I will be 24 and a half when our first baby is born.

I work for a corporation where most of my female co-workers didn’t get married until their late 20’s.

All the women here had their first child in their 30’s. The youngest mom was 29 when she had her first child.

One woman told me I was crazy for thinking of having a baby at my age.

I am not the norm at my job because I am the only one having children in my 20’s.

How do I get over being an outcast at my job when everyone is an older mom?

I didn’t say I was pregnant. I have gone to college, I have a degree in business finance and I work for a large multi-million dollar company where I make a lot of money. In fact, I own a house that will be paid off in 10 months and I have $0 debt. I don’t flaunt my pregnancy at work. And who the hell has children in their 50’s. That’s not an “older mom”. You are just a jealous *****. And my mother-in-law hates me because she is a bitter witch like you. Good luck with your miserable life.

Answer 1

I can understand your feelings in regards to the ignorant people at work. Early 20's is the perfect age to begin a family. My first family began at that age.

See I am well aware of the ignorance of some people. My first wife died of cacner a few years ago. About 18 months ago someone started working in the same place as I and we became lovers. She went to the doctor in December of last year and was told she stopped ovulating. For a 48 year old women that is not unusal. Her doctor said she should experience her period ceasing soon.

Late this march she woke up one morning and promptly threw up. Didn't think anything of it figuiring it was the flu. after 4 days of vomiting on a regular basis she went to the doctor and found out we are going to be parents.

YOu should have heard the ignorant comments from the people at work. Lines like :"You should have an abortion your much to old. "All your going to produce is a baby with birth deffects." "Are you stupid or something."

She has left work because along the way she has developed Toxemia. Something the doctor said could happen because of her age. So she is confined to her bed.

Oh by the way we have since married. I really do love this women. My children (This is her first) are just excited about having a baby sister. (Yes we found out and she is perfect)

Honey people say stupid things like they did with you and with my new wife because they are jealous. That is all it is plain and simple.

I hope you get everything in life you want. Especially a happy healthy family. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

Wow I am in ur same boat. But I am 8 weeks pregnant I am 23 and I will be 24 in the 22nd of this month. I work with attorney's that all got married in their LATE 20's or even mid 30's and didn't have kids until a few years later. As for me I am unmarried and I am having a baby with a friend that I've known since I was 14 and we haven't decided if we want to get married or what at this point.
Every single person in my office has told me on numerous occasions before I found out I was pregnant that I would be crazy to get married or even get pregnant before I was 27. Now that they all know, they are all being a little weird about everything, they have given me the congrats but in their face I can see the concern. I am mature I just graduate from college with two degrees, I bought a house last year and a new car this year. So I have my stuff together. But I still get this feeling like they are disappointed with the idea. Like I am putting myself up for failure. I know that the typical family is supposed to have a married mom and dad and then baby. But it’s the 21st century and those things don't work out like that any more. My baby was conceived with love and I am totally excited about being pregnant. I am not exactly where I want to be in my career, but I think that I am totally prepared for this baby.
Its kind of bumming me out, they way they are acting.
But whatever, right? I am happy, my bf is happy and I will be REALLY happy when the baby comes.
Don't stress about what other people think its ur life and sometimes things come unexpected or planned and we deal with them when they do.
Being the outcast is fun sometimes, you almost feel like the rebel. But don't feel bad, when its ur time to bring life into this world its ur time. Don't let people make u feel bad because u are not part of the norm. That's the life they choose and this ur life.
Just think of this way u are going to have so much more energy when u baby comes compared to the "older mom" and u will be able to bounce back to that before baby body that the "older moms" will have a harder time to do because they are older.

Answer 3

I had my first child at 23, my second at 27. Yes, with my daughter's class, I'm one of the youngest moms, I'm not even 40 yet (will be in October) with a 16 year old that's going to be a junior in high school. My son is now 12. By my calculations, when my son is 18, I will be 45 years old, my husband will be 50. I just remember the saying "she who lasts last, laughs best."

In other words, tell the other women at your job that it's none of their business when you decide to have children. Also, you might want to point out that fertility decreases as a woman ages, so for some women who have to undergo infertility treatments in their 30's, the same women quite possibly could've conceived w/o intervention in their 20's. I had to have infertility treatments to get pregnant in my 20's, I had been told by my doctor that I probably wouldn't have been able to conceive in my 30's. He was right too, ever since I hit 30, I've had more female problems than I care to admit.

So, just laugh at them in 20 + years while they're in their 60's and 70's dealing with teens and their crap, and blowing their retirement accounts on college tuition, while you and your husband are sitting on a beach somewhere sucking down Mai Tai's!!!

Answer 4

You need to remember that this is YOUR choice. Not theirs. You can not make a life decision based on what people other than you and your husband think. If that is what you and your husband want, then do exactly what you want. Something that important and life changing is not up for them to decide. If you let them know this is what you both want for your life, and that you are going to stick to it, then they will need to respect your decision. You are actually at a very good age to be having a child. The older you get the more risks there are with pregnancy. Having had their children at an older age, they should have been to their doctor enough to know that. You alone know what you are capable of. I am the youngest where I work, and when I started I was single. Shortly after I started, I met my husband, who had 2 younger children. A year later we were married, and within months I was pregnant with my first. Currently I am pregnant with our 2nd. I am 26, with a full time job and 3 soon to be 4 kids. Another woman I work with is now just over 30 and had her first just before I had mine, and recently gave birth to her 2nd. But I felt the same because I work with older people, who feel that their job takes precedence over family. Once you set things right in your own mind, people will stop looking down on you for your decision, because they will see that it is what YOU want. And really, if letting them see that your decision stands doesn't work, then you need to tell them. It's difficult yes, but there are ways to do it. It's all in what you say. A simple statement of ' I don't feel that I need to wait until I'm older, I would rather have a child while I'm at this age, because its healthier' or something to that effect (it should reflect how YOU feel) will make them stop.
Although, women do tend to get a little excited about children, and you may find after you do get pregnant that they will show some enthusiasm and you may find yourself dealing with advice on how to do raise a child instead.
You may find that instigating these kind of conversations (when appropriate) i.e. asking them for parenting advice...may help them to leave that subject alone.
Hope things work out!

Answer 5

Hi,
I think you shouldn't worry about that. Motherhood ia s wonderfull thing and if you and your husband are ready, that's all that counts!Your coworkers may feel that at your age you should still enjoy your freedom because after kids come.... But again, if you know you ready, go for it!!!!!!! It's your life and your body. I had my first son when I was 23 and I also was the youngest mom at my job back then. Everyone was looking at me like I was an ailent but they all got more supportive with time. Besides, having a child is the most beautiful thing ever. Just think about feeling your baby's first kick, holding him/her in your arms for the first time. There is nothing more powerful than that.
Also, in a long run, think that you won't be 50 years old when your child goes away to college...

Answer 6

That is wrong if you have to be an outcast at work for having a child at the age of 24 1/2.

There are many people out there that have kids well younger then you. I am 23 and have 2 kids. I was 16 when I had my first baby.

If you are healthy, happy and prepared for this child then go on with work like nothing is going on.

I think if you are happy then who cares what they think. 24 almost 25 is a very good age to have a child. You are through Schooling and you have a job. It's not like you are 15 and dropping out of School.

CONGRATS!! on your bundle of joy to come :)

Answer 7

Don't listen to them. They are most likely jealous because you are young and will be young as your child grows up. I got pregnant when I was 24 and still get looks because she's a baby and I'm 25. People look at me and judge because I look very young, I'm talking 18 or so, and I have to just brush it off. You have a husband, and a job which shows you are responsible. Having a baby at 24 is not too young, in fact, I think it is the perfect age. They will get over it anyways when they see your baby because it will be so beautiful and distracting! Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 8

I think I have read that your age is actually a fantastic age to have a baby. You are not too young, not too old and sounds like you have a nice job and a good husband. I wouldn't worry about what your coworkers think. Too many women put off their families to have their career first. Not that this is wrong in all cases, but trust me..you are fine.
As for me, I am almost 29. I had my first at age 17, and am getting ready to have my second. Being 17 and a single mom makes you feel like an outcast for sure!

Answer 9

Tell them that you're more fertile than they were at their age. That's the real reason why they had kids so late. That, and their husbands couldn't handle the responsibility at your age, unlike theirs.

Why should they care what age you have a child at? They should be happy for you because the birth of a child is always a miraculous event. Just make sure you have some real daycare lined up for the kid, like the grandparents or family friends. Stay away from pay-daycare as much as you can.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like you already know what you want out of life.

I'm confused. Are you pregnant or trying to get pregnant?

If you're already pregnant, it sounds like this is happy news for you and your hubby...You're married and in your mid-20's, I think that's about the right time to be starting a family...

If you are trying to get pregnant, but haven't yet, stop and really think about how having a baby will change your life. Make sure that your marriage is strong and happy so there will be a sturdy foundation for starting your family. If you decide that you aren't quite ready, that's ok too. You have plenty of time ahead of you...

As for the hens in the office, don't worry about what they're saying. You and your husband are the only ones to decide what's best for your family!

God bless and good luck!!!