My husband of 12 years, an Army Major, is cheating on me AGAIN. The first time, I confronted, he blew up, we got over it. This time I am seriously considering taking it to his commanding officer. I really don't want to leave him. I love him. I want him to BEHAVE! I am tired of his double life; he is into what I consider some really dark stuff online, where he meets up with these "ladies" (ha!). He told me before that if I go to his CO, it will ruin his career, thereby ruining my lifestyle (financially). I sure hope to get some insight on this. From reading others' questions, at least I'm not alone!! Thanks!
2006-08-08 05:44:42 · 11 answers · asked by junipermariee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife is an Army Major. She's divorcing me. Here's some tidbits you should know.
* Divorce rate among Army Officers is 78%.
* Adultery is a punishable offense under the UCMJ that will lead to an automatic court martial.
* After 12 years, you have rights to his retirement pension.
* Filing for divorce or separation automatically goes to his CO no matter what he says.
* Filing for divorce or separation under any circumstances stays on his permanent record. Any legal action stays on his record including restraining orders.
Here's the bottomline: All of the military has a very, very conservative image of their officers. They understand that human beings will be human beings. But they also understand that for every position/rank in the military, there are dozens waiting to fill that slot. Court martial is just a proceeding. In the civilian world, we call it getting fired. If you have documentation of his past digressions, you have more ammo to use. You need to understand that HIS actions are ruining HIS career. A career only he has control over. If he wants to ruin it, let him. Every rank from O-4 and up is political i.e. image is everything.
You need to watch out for yourself. You also have rights under the UCMJ and under your state of domicile. The so-called lifestyle will be intact within reason. If you were to divorce, the Army will make him take care of you and children, if applicable. The Army is under federal law. Family law like divorces and separation are under state law. State law will have jurisdiction. Like I said, the Army understands human nature. But they'd be damned if they allow anyone in their uniform under our flag in the name of our country shirk their responsibilities - morally or financially.
2006-08-08 06:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Report him. This happened before, once is a mistake, twice is on purpose. Check article 120 of the UCMJ and see if it applies to adultery. If not, then at least Conduct Unbecoming should apply.
I am sorry to say that if you take this action, he will probably take his consequences out on you. He has to want to behave, noone can make him.
2006-08-08 05:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by Yote' 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make preparations to leave him if he doesn't straighten up by talking to a good lawyer first who will help you come out smelling like a rose. Also, if he doesn't tighten up and you plan to leave, tell his commanding officer that he [the no good husband] is a homo. That'll teach him a thing of two.
2006-08-08 05:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by HazelEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he is only trying to discourage you from going to his CO so he can keep doing what he's doing. he obviously can't stop on his own and it sounds like he is only bringing up the financial motivation (that you are comfortable) so you reluctantly accept his behavior. true, he could get demoted and all that but regardless he is still an officer, he makes good money either way. i think you should tell his CO, then you won't be the only one who has to babysit him.
2006-08-08 05:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The base that you are stationed at should have a Chaplin that has a degree in Marrige councling. I would go the welcome center and ask who the chaplin is. You can talk to him in confidence. Or you can go to Army One source and they will find a way to help you...
2006-08-10 09:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by A_Soldiers_Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to his commander, my husband is in the military as well and it is not easy being military wife you have to think for your self, also you have to be careful all those nasty things out there that you can get, please tell his commander or he will never learn from this whether his with you or somebody else. trust me
2006-08-08 06:49:01 · answer #6 · answered by P.B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to his CO...last I checked adultry was a punishable offense in the armed forces
2006-08-08 05:48:08 · answer #7 · answered by abchoate1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is called, "Friendly Fire." Join up, get in his bunch, and....well, you get the picture. Good luck
2006-08-08 06:17:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave him vengence is the lords
2006-08-08 05:53:13 · answer #9 · answered by blk man luvs pussc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DIVORCE and go get test for AIDS and STD's
2006-08-08 05:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋