My husband was divoriced a while back because his ex wife cheated on him and ended up being pregnant by another man. He forgave her an helped raise the little girl for two years. After he caught her cheating again for the second time, not even with the same guy from the first cheatting, he called it quites.
He only has one son with her.The thing is everytime he goes to pick up his son on Sundays the little girl calls him dad and wants to go him. But I believe that its wrong to bring her because she is not his responisbility. Its been two years since they seperated and they divoriced back in April. The ex wife is now remarried with the little girls father. I don't like it when he brings the little girl over. I feel that she is getting confused with who is her real father and who is not. She constantly calls him dad and I think its wrong. If i was her real father I would not let her go with another man she calls dad, don't you think.
2006-08-08 05:38:13 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He raised this little girl for 2 years!!!! I think it's great that he's secure enough to keep that bond open! Think about how hurt that little girl would be if "her dad" (that's what he is to her!!) left her! I'm sorry, but you need to suck up your feelings and let him continue being a daddy to his little girl!
My husband and I are in the same situation; I love his step kids and respect him for taking care of them even though they aren't biologically his!
2006-08-08 05:46:05 · answer #1 · answered by michs96 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong with having more than one dad .... as long as everyone is clear with her who her real daddy is ... I don't think there should be a problem.
He has a son with her ... the kids are brother and sister .. why wouldn't you want them to spend time together as a family ... He's not leaving you out or anything ... so I don't see it as a jealousy thing ... he's just loving a child that he feel in love with ... and there's nothing wrong with that.
You should look at it from the child's view ... she had this wonderful man take care of her for 2 years ... taking it away from her I think would be horrible ... especially since she will be seeing him for the rest of her life ... because of her BROTHER ... !
My daughter called my uncle - dad .. for a little while just because she hears my little cousins calling him that ... when kids are little they don't understand what words mean they just use them ... she's older and laughs about it now .. nothing too serious I think will come out of her calling him dad while she's young ... !
You can be a little bit more sensitive I think towards the whole situation ... but I don't know everything that's going on .. I can only judge by what I'm reading ... !
2006-08-08 12:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your husband sounds like a really nice guy. I don't think that he is wrong by bringing her over with his real son. It's not her fault, she is only a child and all children need 2 be shown love and attention even by those who are not responsible for them.
I do understand how u feel and i agree that confusion can become an issue. It's really a touchy subject and hard 2 give advise on without the risk of offending u or your husband. Sit down and talk about it with him and make sure he knows how u feel and what u really think. I wish u both the best
2006-08-08 13:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by juslookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geeze.. where to begin.. First remember the saying " Anyone can be a father, takes a special man to be a Daddy" and obviously your man is a very good daddy and this little girl remember him as a daddy.. She is also her brothers sister, so although there are no blood ties between ur husband and the little girl, she does have blood ties to his son , your step son.. I would think HIGHLY of a man that can love children that arent his .. why should the little girl be held at fault for her mistakes???? She didnt ask for this..and she obviously loves your husband and ur husband obviously loves this little girl to view her as his own even if shes not, or just by realizing she is a little girl that doesnt understand why she cant go with her brother too.. I think ur selfish, and heartless, i think u are so jealous over the x wife that ur taking it out on a innocent little girl.. SHE KNOWS who her daddy is.. but she obviously looks at ur husband as a fatherly figure and theres nothing wrong with it.. U need to back off and if i was your husband i'd tell you to butt out..because YOUR feelings shouldnt matter here.. not about how he feels about a child.. If he loves her, and wants to continue to see her, and she loves him and continues to want to see him.. then u need to respect that.. I know what ur going through, my husband has a step son from his previous marriage, and he comes to our house often, he loves him and says he'll always be there for him, and was straight forward about that from the get go of our relationship. and thats fine by me.. My husband is an EXCELLENT dad, and I love him more for it, then to get upset that he wants to be a REAL man, and do what is right even if the child isnt BIOLOGICALLY HIS.. his heart and his step sons heart is all that they need to be family not blood.. Im surprised ur husband would even marry someone like u , someone that needs BLOOD lines to constitute reasons to love a child or to be there for them, so i guess since ur STEP son isnt urs by BLOOD that u will never love him because theres no BLOOD lines between u????? And if god forbid u and ur husband divorce.. U'd leave a child that loves u behind with out a second thought.. How very selfish and immature of u ..
If your husband is any type of a man he'd tell u that U GO before THE LITTLE GIRL GOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-08 12:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you said it, if you were the little girls dad what you would do. So let that problem be his and not yours. As far as the girl coming over I would just address it as a problem if her being there is disturbing you. Like if you have to make time out for her if he is not around. Letting him know you knew getting into the relationship you had to deal with one outside kid, but not two. However, his reasoning may revolve around his son having a playmate when he comes to the house. Believe it or not when a kid has another kid around to occupy their time you have less to deal with in the house, because they keep each other busy and not you.
2006-08-08 12:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by mrpuffandstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in the two years that he raised the little girl he grew to love her. You cant expect him to throw that away just to make you happy. The little girls has very strong feelings for him. Let me tell you something I learned a long time ago. Jelousy will get you no where. One day a week will not hurt you. I could see if you were competing with a grown woman but she is a little girl. get a grip.
2006-08-08 12:54:07 · answer #6 · answered by JAYNE C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over ur self
this litle girl did nothgin wrong and ur husband is an alright guy for steping up and being a DAD toher . you know how many men dont good on ur hubby .
shame on u !!!!! he raised her, so obviously he must ahve love in his heart for her and she probably needs a good strong moral parent around . and if his son lives with her she must be confused i mean her brother calls him dad right?? so back off when shes older they can have a conversation or she will realize and either he willstill be there for her or she will look else where. whata sad day when a wife doesnt want her husband to be a good father .
2006-08-08 12:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by ashley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to think about that little girl and what she has been taught to know in her life. She see's your husband as her father and until she is old enough to really understand the situation I would leave it alone. She would be so confused right know if she were to find out. Look at it like this, the little girl is lucky to have so many people love her. Wait till she is older. Good Luck.
2006-08-08 12:47:48 · answer #8 · answered by ♥HeidiJustine♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Disrespect!
BUT I pray GOD gives you a Unconditional Heart of Love....you are Sooooo Wrong...It's not the childs fault!....I am in a similar position right now....I took a child into my marriage ( in divorce process) and when he was 3 and now he is 10...I share one son with her and he is 5 ....I don't care if she gets married to another or not...but that 10 yr. old knows his real dad, but he calls me dad all the time...and that IS AN HONOR 2 ME!...If I met a woman like you...I would turn away so fast...all you would see was the backside of my nike shoes! lol
Get your heart right...as long as he is loving you...what does it matter? Grow UP!
2006-08-08 12:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't punish the little girl for her parents mistakes. He did help to raise her for 2 years. Eventually, I am sure SOMEONE will tell her who her biological father is but for now, enjoy her. Children are a blessing to us and are the future.
2006-08-08 12:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by Big-Sister 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋