another poll about cheating on your bf/gf?

Question

For people who have or do cheat on thier significant others: How do you justify your actions? What do you do or tell yourself at the time the "so called" affair is happening to make yourself believe your actions are okay?

I am only looking for imformation for a research project.

p.s. i don't want to hear from the people who write me answers saying "cheating is wrong, i wouldn't never do it"
that is not what i am asking!

Answer 1

I think there are a few reasons. The first deals with those who cheat out of a need to be in control. They feel that if they can get away with it then they are in control. It is invigorating when a person gets away with cheating, it not only boost one's ego but it gives one a sense of satisfaction that they can do what they want without getting caught. Almost the same as when a thief gets away with a robbery without getting caught. Also, another reason some ppl cheat is to get back at their mate for cheating. And one more reason that some people cheat is because they are simply not satisfied in their current relationship.

Answer 2

Cheating on someone you love can never really be justified. Its the rush you get knowing that what you are doing is wrong. Sometimes people just need to feel some excitment in their lives. Cheating is a huge "no-no" so that makes it exciting. being with a stranger for the first time builds this daring rush that explodes with every encounter!

Answer 3

When I've cheated its usually been at the end of the relationship when you know neither of you really want to be together. My relationships have usually ended, by me, fairly soon after I that. Simply because I can't justify cheating, regardless of your reasoning, if the other found out they would be very hurt. Therefore unjustifiable. Hurting another is never justifiable.
I've decided that there will be no more but open relationships for me. I don't want to be tied down to a man who is tired of me as I am him.
My current interest is into open relationships...this will be my first so we'll see how it goes.

Answer 4

I have cheated on boyfriends in the past, its childish and immature and was just an excuse for me to break up with them. I can honestly say I dont think I actually liked any of my previous boyfriends romantically, sounds harsh but its the truth. I would feel pressured to go out with them and then have to find a way to finish it. As I was 'cheating' I was just convinced that the guy I was cheating with would make me a happier girlfriend.

BUT now i'm totally in love and I would never cheat on him.

Answer 5

well,i do cheat now if you call that cheating. though there is no physical contact from the two of them, i dont feel any guilt or whatsoever. my options are always open and there is nothing wrong if i would like to collect and select, after all it talks about my lifetime affair. so long as both of us are open to each other. and hey, were not even married yet, just into a relationship, is that cheating? we still have the right to our own privacy and we should respect that, so long as we know how to stand to the situation we are engaging in and know how to get out without giving so much trouble to other party, though its not possible not to hurt one of them, life is just like that. we dont own anything or anyone, lets just be prepared for the worst to come.

Answer 6

You shouldn't judge people for cheating. Every situation is different. I am not saying there is reason but when a woman feels neglected by her man there is nothing else to do but get that emotional and sexual connection from another man. Sometimes its even harder to leave the relationship you in seeing as you been with that person forever and the one you hooking up with might not be as willing to spend the rest of his life with you. Its selfish to have two lovers but one gives you sex and the other gives you emotional support.

Answer 7

Umm the thing is I tried not to think about it. while it was happening, although i wish I could forget about it. I the only way i can live with it is to just pretend it didnt happen, my significant other dosent know, and i dont want him to know. so try and live life with out thinking about it. I really dont have a good reason, my reason was and still is, I was alone and ignored, my other half wouldnt pay any attention to me, and when an oppertunity came up, I took it, everyone needs love. I just wish I could have recieveded it from my significant other as you say.

Answer 8

It isn't natural for a human being to only have 1 partner. That's why people cheat.

As long as there is no emotional attachment with the other person, and you love your significant other, then it's OK.

Answer 9

WHAT I SAY TO MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE THAT MY ACTIONS ARE OK IS THAT YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS DOING, SO TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE AND TO NOT GET HURT BY HIM, I MESS WITH GUYS THAT I DON'T REALLY THINK I WOULD EVER HAVE ANYTHING WITH IN THE LONG RUN AND THAT MAKES IT OK. I FIGURE IF I THINK HE'S DOING IT, THEN IT'S OK FOR ME TO DO IT, TOO (EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF). OR, IF I DON'T REALLY LIKE THE GUY BUT JUST WANT TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT, I'LL CHEAT AND BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THE GUY, THAT MAKES IT OK CAUSE MY FEELINGS ARE STILL FOR THE ONE THAT I AM TRULY IN LOVE WITH (WHICH IS MY BF). WHEN HE PROPOSES TO ME, THEN I'LL STOP CHEATING (EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT REALLY CHEATING UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED ANYWAY).

Answer 10

ok one time i cheated ..now i feel badly for doing it but at the time i was unhappy in my marriage(even though my husband was a great guy)..any way i was using drugs i felt no real guilt i just went out and i did it with a guy i worked with..i was actually going to leave my husband..then i came back to my real mind and knew i had to get off drugs and stop cheating on him or i was going to mess up my whole life if i hadn't all ready done it...any way i came clean with him told him every thing and i felt a big relief ...but i still some times feel guilty about it i know it was wrong & i hurt him badley ..i dont really try to justify it i just try to move past it!!