What's the best way to heal physical/sexual/emotional abuse?

Question

If my spouse has been badly hurt as a child,what are the practical ways of bringing healing to her?

Answer 1

In my experience the best thing to get over abuse is by gaining acceptance of what happened.

YOU CANNOT FIX HER - this is a process that i am afraid she will have to do for herself - find her a counsellor that specialises in the relevant type of abuse and will help her understand that whatever happened to her was not her fault and will help her get some acceptance around the fact that this happened and is now in the past. She is just perpetuating the pain by holding onto it, life is much more comfortable once you can let go of some of the anger and resentment.

My thoughts are with you both x

Answer 2

I would recommend she learn a martial art such as karate. Really! This is not so much so that she can fight off the next attacker (though it doesn't hurt). A good martial arts program promotes a sense of self-control and competence. It does help to understand how to deal with aggression and how to evaluate and control one's own aggressive capabilities. The Most Important thing for a person with a history of abuse is to have a sense that she can make her own decisions, control her own life, within the bounds of reason of course. Counseling can help, but it's not enough, and some counselors focus on the victimization more than the survival, which is counter-productive.

Answer 3

Be there as said is a good start,
Counseling doesn't hurts but so far I have found it a waste, a best friend is better.Experience with myself is
until she can forgive and move on and deal with the person that hurt her, she will always have bouts of depression.... the problem in which I am assuming brought on this question. I have been almost 30 yrs in forgiving and not blaming myself, I was just a child... Now the moving on part I'll have to get back with on that one I'm taking it day by day. See if you can get her there in less time and maybe you can back with me:-)

Answer 4

The only thing you can do at the moment mate, is to be there for her. Re-assure her that that particular episode of her life is over. It is the chance to start afresh. Hold her and tell her how much you love her, and how much you want to see her happy. Just be there, mate. I'm sure you're already doing a good job and don't need us to tell you what to do.

Hope everything goes ok

Answer 5

Don't go near a councillor, they don't help in the slightest even though they think they do. Spiritual guidance - and I don't mean religion - will teach her how to meditate and from this learn to let things go. It takes time, but it works. Reiki healing would be the easiest way to approach this.

Answer 6

Listen. Let her talk about it as much as she likes. The talking itself helps the healing. But also, anyone who has been abused as a child can benefit from speaking with a professional counselor with experience in helping abuse survivors, and I would strongly recommend that. A support group with others who experienced childhood abuse can also be very helpful with healing.

Answer 7

Although i understand why people are suggesting counselling, but it's not for everyone. This is something that she needs to deal with in her own way the best thing you can do is be there for her when she needs you

Answer 8

Hello,
she must accept and understand, what happens in the past. To do so you need a good psychologist. Try this first. Don't do experiments, it could be dangerous.

Answer 9

First thing is be there for her.

Honestly she has to want help to get her to go to a counciler or something-----but if you maybe offer to go with her it might not seem as frightning----Thats what my fiance(bf then) did for me.

Alot of it is up to her though---counciling is by far the most offective.

It's good that she is talking to you about it though

hope this helps

Answer 10

Going to see a psychiatrist don't help.
All they do is talk, you can't change the past no matter how much talking you do.