help please!!!l am7 weeks pregnant and l am thinking of going for abortion because l am helpless.?

Question

l am 7weeks pregnant and very sick l have lost 6kg so far,l went to see my doctor and she told me to try and get enough rest.my problem now is my fiance,my fiance is 24years older than me,l am 25yrs old.l dont work because he dont want me to work and normally l am the one doing all the house work and cooking we have 2 animals at home a dog and a cat.now that l am pregnant l have difficulty doing anything and i am so sick so l suggest that my junior sister should come and live with us at list she can help me with the house work and cooking,he refused,then l ask him to take off the 2animals not that l hate animals but l dont like the ideal of living with animals because there is hairs all over the house and l have to clean the house every blessed day so if there is no animals in the house l can be doing the cleaning once in a week he told me that he cannot do without animals.so l am thinking mayby l should go for abortion,he want me to keep the baby,but is difficult i am helpless.

my fiance dont know how to cook, he dont know how to do anyhouse work,he is worst than a baby in the house .but l love him he is a nice man he has done alot for me and my family .

is my first pregnacy

Answer 1

OK, first of all, do NOT label yourself as helpless. Sounds like that is exactly what your man wants you to be. It also sounds like he only wants a housekeeper instead of a partner, because he's not willing to compromise with you. Is he totally against you having an abortion? I think he only wants you to have a baby so you'll be further "tied down" to him and his house. He sounds like one of those men that wants you to believe you can't survive w/out him. If he genuinely loves you, he'll compromise and put your needs first since you are carrying his child. If he's not willing to do this, then don't commit your life to him. You are not helpless. You can make it on your own with or without a baby. There are lots of programs to help you buy things for your baby. But if you decide to have an abortion, be sure it's for the right reasons. Either way, it sounds to me like you don't even need this selfish man in your life. You can do better. Good luck!

Answer 2

Look a woman can do whatever she wants w/her body, but I can tell you that if you do go through an abortion you are not going to be happy. Espically if you are considering aborting just because you cant clean your house everyday in fact that is just downright ridiculous. The very beginning of pregnancy is suppossed to be extremely tireful and filled w/morning sickness, but that will all go away and you will regain your energy. If the man you are with wants you to keep the baby you will only feel worse after the abortion. Please please dont have an abortion though just because your house might get a little dirty you will truly regret it. Every girl I have ever known that has had an abortion for really a no good reason has had severe emotional problems afterwards and says that if they could go back in time they would have changed their minds. I got pregnant at 17, I considered abortion but thought that would be selfish god obviously gave me this baby for a reason. I still wanted to party and hang out and have that young life before I settled down, but now my daughter is 4 and she is my BEST FRIEND and I couldn't imagine my life without her. She's like a mini me, and the best part is they love you unconditionally. So dont feel helpless everything will work out in the end, but please do some serious thinking before you make a decsion like that.

Answer 3

Look this is hard and only you can decide if you kill the baby but as a friend I am asking you not to. God has created something special please dont take that away. If you get an abortion you will spend the rest of your life thinking what if ? And the sickness will ware off you just have to wait it out. You have to be strong. Then there is a matter of the rest try to come up with a compromise like let your sister come over maybe twice a week to do chores or maybe three that way you all feel comfortable and you can get some rest. Then if he still wont agree to any thing dont punish the baby for his actions. Tell him you will have to move out if you dont get the respect you need.

Answer 4

You have a mind of your own and you are part of the situation so get rid of the animals and afford yourself more time to rest! DR's orders! You were told exactly what to do and who are you going to listen to? Your fiance who doesn't know how to take care of himself with no experience in cooking or cleaning, let alone a pregnant fiance! You have to do what is best for you and the unborn baby! Abortion is not going to make him any less of an asshole so get it out of your mind!!!!
Obviously, pregnancy was not something discussed by you and your partner. It takes 2 to tango and if he can not help you with your symptoms, maybe being with him is no longer an option. I am glad that you said FIANCE and not husband because that gives you time...time to leave him behind. Do you think he will really take his vows seriously when what you just told me had proved that he won't! He is to love you and care for you in sickness and in health and you are suffering from morning sickness while carrying his child and he IS NOT HELPING YOU!!!!!
Please, think about what you are asking. Is it really the fetus' fault that you can not get rid of the animals or that you have to spend all day cleaning the house? No it is not. It is your fiances fault. Why not abort him?
Please let me know what you decide to do. You seriously can not marry this jerk! You tell him, the animals or you, someone's gotta go. If he chooses his animals then he HAS to clean up after them. Then what will he do? It sounds like he CANT live without you. You also sound like his mother or a personal slave. GET SOME SELF-ESTEEM and make sure he understands that you are part of the relationship and You have a say in what goes on!
Be strong and take care of who matters most! You and the baby!

Answer 5

I am pro choice but it sounds as if your partner is a real controlling *ss. I would not be afraid to tell him how I felt either. You are probably feeling like maybe you want to take control of your life back - that you don't have it. Getting an abortion you figure will get you control of your body but it won't fix your other issues now will it? How did you get into this in the first place? My first suggestion would be to seek out a good counselor or talk privately to or a family member concerning your situation. My second suggestion would be to go to the abortion clinic for counseling as well. They are usually pretty good at helping people explore the options & why along with giving support for either choice. However the complaints you make do not sound valid excuses to have the abortion. They just sound like valid excuses to dump your man. My advice doesn't mean I think you should actually have the abortion. I think you are in a real mess it sounds and you need to do some soul searching to find the choice YOU can live with the best. Only you can live out the rest of your life in a certain manner. Your the one who has to deal with your feelings AFTER the fact. No one else here is going to live that life for you and remember you have only one life to live. So make the conscious choice that works for you, your future and the future you'd want for your future children. BTW if you do decide to have the abortion or not be sure to get the therapy you need. You really do need it sweetie.

Answer 6

It's not clear in your question why you feel the need for an abortion. Because you have to clean up after the animals? Because you can't be pregnant and also do housework? I'm not sure what your problem is. Sickness happens for some people but it does go away.

Tell him to get a housekeeper. I said tell not ASK, if it's that big of a deal right now. That will solve the house cleaning problem.

If you didn't want to be pregnant then you should have taken proper precausions to avoid it. Now you are, so deal with it. An abortion is not some easy thing you go do because you can. I'm not pro life. I am pro choice but I have seen the after affects of abortion. They are not good. You'd better have a good reason to get one and so far you haven't made one clear.

Answer 7

Well to start off most men are useless. But if he wants you to stay home and wants you to keep the baby it sounds like he cares a lot about you. I had my dogs for 4 years before my son was born. I couldn't imagine not having them around. So you need to be sensitive to the fact that love for an animal can be a very strong bond. Also you need to realize that an abortion in a relationship is a 2 person decision. If you do not agree the baby should be kept alive. Because that baby is as much his as yours. I suggest that unless you have a solid reason why you shouldn't birth this child you should keep it. And even if you do have a reason you should still carry th child then give it up for adoption. My sister and her husband are unable to have children and there are many more just like them that would be blessed to have your child. Just do whats in your heart! Good luck.

Answer 8

Tina, please don't let anyone hurt your baby. I know you are feeling overwhelmed right now, but many women feel exactly the way you do at this stage of pregnancy. The nausea and tiredness WILL PASS. Eat frequent, small meals. Make sure you eat a cracker or something before your head even comes off the pillow in the morning.

Let the housework go, if need be. It will keep. Your baby's life is much more important than some dog hairs on the carpet! You need to put things in perspective. Hormones make everything seem worse than it is right now. If you like, you can have someone come over and help you with the housework while your fiance is at work.

At seven weeks, your precious little baby looks like this:

http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html

Her heart is beating (since three weeks), she has tiny finger and toes, and her brain waves can even be recorded. She is starting to move in the womb, although she is too little for you to feel it yet. She is depending on you, her mommy, to keep her safe.
Here are some more photos and facts about your baby's development:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ultrasound/11weeks.htm
http://www.advocatesfortheinnocent.com/fetalpain.html

Here is what abortion looks like at 7 weeks. Please don't do this to your baby:

http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Abortion is also very dangerous for you. Women have died from so-called "safe and legal" abortions:

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

You are lucky to have a man who supports you and cares enough about you and your child to NOT want you to abort. Many women would love to switch places with you.

Yes, this is a difficult time for you, but when your baby grabs your finger for the first time and smiles up into your eyes, it will all be worth it!! You will feel better soon, and your baby will be glad one day that you went through this for her.

Answer 9

You are going to be fine, physically speaking--in another month. The question you should be asking yourself is, if you are emotionally prepared for a baby? Can you see yourself being a mother? I got pregnant shortly after my high school graduation. I had even graduated 6 months early to go to college and be a career woman. It turns out, that I wanted the baby, and after two to three months of being sick, I felt great. She is 10 years old now, and I love her, can't imagine life without her. But the sickness now that you are feeling, is nothing compared to what you give up once that baby is here. So think about that, not about fatigue and sickness. And you are not helpless. You are an adult---seven years older than I was when I got pregnant. A child's life is nothing to play games with. Do what is right for you!!

Answer 10

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