SHould I tell my 6 year old son his cat died?

Question

His 1 year old cat which he loved died this morning, should we tell him the truth or, to spare his feelings,tell him the cat ran away or we do not know where he is.

He got his head caught in the lattace work on our porch and basically strangled himself, we took him to the vet right away but he was too far gone to be saved. That cat loved my son and would cuddle all day with him.

Answer 1

Tell your son that his kitty went to Heaven.... but he wanted to leave him a new kitty and he could pick it out.

God Bless this child

Answer 2

You should be honest with him! I was also six when I learned my beloved Tommy had died, and I cried and cried, but I also understood that every living thing eventually dies and it is all part of the cycle of life. It would take away an opportunity to teach him about the value of pets and life as well if you lie to him and say the cat ran away. Plus he may find out sometime in the future that you lied, and that's not good for a parent to do even if it is to spare his feelings. Let him grieve and comfort him the best you can. At some later point, you can give a home to another cat, preferably one from a shelter and start the cycle again. Good luck!

Answer 3

Psychologists suggest it's best to tell the truth. However, since you know your child best, you should consider which "truth" would be least emotionally damaging to him: (a) his favourite cat ran away and left him alone; or (b) his favourite cat died and went to animal heaven, but still watches over him.

In addition to death, this may be a good opportunity to teach him about handling loss in a mature way.

Psychologists suggest that if you're going to tell your child its favourite pet died, direct explanations about death (I'd leave out the hanging part) which fit with your child's current intellectual level work best. For example, "Son, had an accident. We did everything to save him, but he's gone to animal heaven now..." (Something like that anyway).

It's really not so much about what has actually happened, but how you go about handling what has happened. Again, a good opportunity to teach something to your son.

Answer 4

Do not underestimate your son. Tell him the truth about the cat. Death is a natural thing and he will be confronted with it sooner or later. Sometimes, it seems like sparing his feelings is the better option, but it can also hurt him. When I was 7, my dog died and my mom lied and told me that Santa took her to God. I was so upset with the whole ordeal and it ruined my Christmas (it had actually happened a month before, but my mom ignored my inquiries of the dog's whereabouts). Later, I figured out that the dog just died and I became angry with my Mom for not telling me the truth. Kids are much smarter than we realize and sometimes they can handle things better than we can. Usually they take the cue from us. If we ourselves are devastated, they may react the same way. If we can relax and explain the situation calmly, it will not be as hard for them.

Answer 5

Tell him he died. That will be very hard on him, but it would be much harder on him to think the cat ran away from him (which he will think is his fault) or that maybe someone took him (and won't take good care of him) or that he got lost( and can't find his way home).

By telling him the truth you allow him to deal with his feelings for his cat honestly. He gets to understand the nature of the loss, and to grieve, and in time, hopefully, he'll be ready to love another cat.

You underestimate your child if you think he needs lies. He needs truth and loving support through grief. This is one of his first great lessons of life. Just be there for him and don't lie about anything. He'll know.

Answer 6

Dont tell him. He is too young to understand fully the concept of life and death. Learning the death of his cat could confuse him greatly. Telling him that the cat ran away will help you in not having to explain life and death and why the cat cannot come back.

When i was a child my parents told me that my dog ran off. I believed it of course and went on with my life. My parents waited until i was 13 to tell me that what actually happened was my dogs chained got wrapped up and when the dog tried to jump off the deck it hung itself. So it never really hurt me that much to learn it at an older age.

Do you want to risk your son and his feelings? That is the choice you will have to make.

I wish you the best and hopefully everything goes ok. Sorry for the loss of a pet.

Answer 7

My mom always told me, but I never had it happen as young as 6. She would tell me something like "he got his wings" and it would make me feel better because I thought he was an angel in heaven. It's a hard thing to deal with and I don't know if I would tell my kid. I might say "so and so passed away, he's in heaven now" or something like that. If he thinks it ran away, he'll be waiting for it to come home and he'll wait for a long time... if he knows the cat won't be coming home he might get over it quicker than if he waits for it to come home and then after the long wait, mourns that the cat will never come home.

Answer 8

the day childhood ends is the day we learn about death.

Don't hurt his feelings, then he will ask if he will die or if the people he loves will die....not a good conversation for six year olds.

Kitty cat ran away. Maybe to join its family or come up with a cute story...give him hope.
Everyone says to just tell him, but I was five when my mom told me my cat was poisoned. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't believe someone would do that. I became bitter, depressed and resentful. I grew up too fast.

Answer 9

Yeah, sure, tell him. At age 6, this is a great time to explain about death, etc. I may seem cruel, but he has to learn about it sometime. It's not like he's three or four and death can be a concept to hard to grasp. He's going to school now and getting out in the world, maybe even old enough to listen to the news. He will hear about death and it will help if someone close has explained it to him.

I remember years ago when one of the characters on Sesame Street died in real life (Mr. Hooper the store guy, I believe). They killed off his character too and they had one of the cast members explain to Big Bird about death (Big Bird is suppoed to represnt a typical 4 or 5 year old). If Sesame Street can handle the concept, you surely can.

Answer 10

Just tell him the cat said goodbye this morning and went away forever but that the cat will always be close by in everyone's heart.

If your son asks, "did he die?" Tell him, "yes" and if he appears to be on the verge or crying, give him a hug and let him express his feelings of loss.

If he learns that emotion at a younger age, it will make him a stronger, more compassionate and understanding person.

Answer 11

Why did the cat die? If you were not at fault, let the child know what happened and have a nice burial service. Then take your 6 year old to a shelter so that he can rescue another kitten or cat. This is a difficult situation and I wish you the best.