we have been together for three and half years. we have been through thick and thin together and i am ready for the next step, we have been living together for the past three years.
2006-08-08 03:56:08 · 36 answers · asked by brownsuger 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you have hinted, and got no response...then it is time to really talk about it. Why would you leave if you are happy, just no marriage? You are already living the life of a married couple, just without the formality of a wedding license and sharing the same name. You need to sit down and tell him what you want, and find out what he wants and where he is in your relationship. If he doesn't ever want marriage and you cannot compromise, then consider leaving to follow your hearts desire...at that point you will know you are not meant to be together. Love can come along many times in a person's life...it's just finding the one that most closely matches YOU!
2006-08-08 04:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by frustrated 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop hinting and come out and ask him exactly where he sees your relationship going. Maybe he's just thick, but three years is:
1. A long time to be with and live with someone who doesn't want to marry you, when that's what you want...
2. A long time to just pack up and leave just because he's not ready to get married...
3. Not a long time to be together if you do get married...if you're married for 40 years, than whats 3?
You need to do some soul searching too, what's more important to you...getting married or being with a man that you love? It sounds like you're in a hurry to be married, but ready to leave in a snap...Don't get married for the wrong reasons...If you think that once you're wed the problems in your relationship will go away they won't..Marriage is an important step, so if it really is that he's just not ready yet, don't push him, he may resent you for it.
2006-08-08 04:06:37 · answer #2 · answered by jillymack06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hinting? How old are you? You should discuss these things openly. Moving in after 6 months seems a little bit of a rush too. Did you force yourself into his place or did you get a place together? It seems to me that you have been pushing the relationship further than he wants to take it and if the two of you are still young then you might not want to be thinking marriage so much already. Love isn't about forcing someone to get you a ring because you're on some deadline.
2006-08-08 05:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it were me, I would first evaluate how I'm really feeling, "Do I REALLY wanna marry him?" or "Do I want to get married?" If you are sure that he is the only one for you, and you are happy with your relationship, talk to him. Don't hint around, be upfront (but watch his moods, make sure you catch him at the right moment). Sit him down, and say something like, "I was thinking the other day about us, and our future, and I was wondering do you see us getting married soon?" Try to say it in a way that you don't make him feel cornered, and keep it light conversation, if possible. Watch his face and reaction. If he says "yes", even if he sounds surprised or scared, take it as that. Don't pressure him for a time, he'll ask when he's ready. If he laughs or says "No", beware. That means you two have different ideas on your future. Good luck! :)
2006-08-08 04:05:38 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can't force him to.. if u really wanna marry him then why don't u go get a ring and propose to him??
but just cause ur ready don't mean he's ready.. u know men r slow in all aspects of life.. don't give him an ultimatum either, cause u'll probably lose.. tell him how u feel and let him know that u wanna be w/him... if he says he's not ready then u could either leave him or stay and keep waiting..
i'd probably leave though.. when ur ready , ur ready.. and u shouldn't be w/ anyone who is not gonna give u that commitment.. 3 yrs is h e l l of enough time to know when u when u wanna be w/someone or not..
2006-08-08 04:09:22 · answer #5 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he treats you good l suggest you stay with him cos its gonna take you even longer to find someone who will be ready for that sort of commitment, you said you have been living together for 3 years l think that is a big commitment right there, wait a little longer maybe he is searching for that perfect ring if he knows you wanna get married
2006-08-08 04:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lil mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop hitting and give it to him straight. make it clear that you are for marriage, it may be easier for you to commit but this isnt the same for your partner. Three and half years is long enough a time for you to communicate freely. Morever you say you have been through thick and thin together. stop giving hints and get a good moment to talk about this gently without acusing him, he is yours, he will understand
2006-08-08 04:08:57 · answer #7 · answered by Emma.M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well keep waiting ive been with my man for 7 years started in 1999 moved in 2000 still together not married yet... let your man have his freedom for a while then start laying down the rules hell i did and now we are engaged.... i didnt ask him he asked me..... so give the man some time to live a little...how old are you and him anyway? well get ready cause you may be waiting a life time if you keep pressuring him into it......... if you wanna get married then either find someone else and wait another three long years or stay with him and see what happens.. he may ask you sooner then you antipate
2006-08-08 04:24:25 · answer #8 · answered by libby71763 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not married by now, ask him what is stopping him. Three years together and no kind of hinting around. Just ask him how would he feel if you set a wedding date.
2006-08-08 04:15:34 · answer #9 · answered by mzpittman01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my gf for 16 years now. She wants to get married. I don't. She asks, I say No. We are still together because we love each other. It is as simple as that. Why do you need a piece of paper, or a legal document, to reinforce it?
If you push too hard you might push him away!
good luck
2006-08-08 04:14:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋