Ex husband showed little interest in daughter until learned mother was remarrying, now he claims daughter does not like mothers fiance and doesn't want to live with mother anymore
2006-08-08 03:40:56 · 12 answers · asked by Naseim S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You'll have that because divorced/seperated parents don't believe in treating the child like anything other than a pawn or a weapon to hurt the eachother with.
2006-08-08 03:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by Zelda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a real situation here. If the daughter hates your fiance then she does probably want to live with daddy. Nothing you do or say can change the way she feels towards him. I went through the same thing with my daughter at the same age. She didnt like the woman I was going to marry and my ex wife encouraged the behavior because she was jealous. Actually I think my ex wife created the hatred in my girls mind. I ended up losing my custody because my ex wife used the situation to take the children from me. I also ended up breaking off the relationship for my daughter. I sacraficed for my child. She is a teen now and things are different. My daughter understands about love now and encourages me to enter into a relationship.
2006-08-08 03:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awe, that's sad. I think what has happened here, is that dad is spoiling daughter while she's in his care. Think about it, he doesn't have her all the time, so when she acts like a brat ( which I know that 5 and 6 year olds do sometimes, I have one) , he doesn't have to disapline her because he knows that in a few hours/days, he'll get to return her to you to be the "bad" one. I am in the same situation, sort of, and it's sucks, but I am glad that my daughter still loves my ex (her dad) eventhough I don't anymore. She doesn't ever want to stay with him, but if she did, I'd probably go in to some kind of depression or something. And if it is true that she doesn't like your new man, maybe you should consider that before marrying him. Children come first. Always. Good luck!
2006-08-08 03:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be very careful, it is common for children to not want to return home after visisting the one parent, due to rules are different at each home, obvious the one that has no rules is the better one, you and the ex need have to a pow-wow... and fast.. it is not fair of either of you to put the ghild in the middle of something that is already hard. Try and talk to your daughter and find out exactly what she does not like, or if her dad is filling her head with bs, BUT maintain your composure at all times and do not show that the sob has just really pissed you off, at least do not let her see that, that whatever he said is bothering you. Reassure her that she is and will always be your number one priority... Good luck on the new marriage..
2006-08-08 03:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your fiance living with you now.? You best set your little girl down and find out if she has had the bad touch thing going on with your new man that is making her not want to come home or why she don't like him..
and if you don't feell it is that.. find out what your ex is saying to her that is making her not want to come home..
be honest and really listen because they don't out and say if they are being abused here. Are there any changes in the way that she acts around him.. he may have told her don't tell you mom it is a secret or something stupid like that.. I didn't listen and my husband was abusing my daughter.. something to think seriously about.. it really hurts when you find out..
you need to talk to your daughter take her somewhere alone so she isn't afraid to talk .. hope all work s out for you.
2006-08-08 03:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is trying to drive a wedge between you and your daughter by using the excuse she doesn't like your fiance...does she like your fiance, by the way?
Talk to your daughter. Tell her you still love her very much, and that when you remarry she will still be the most important person to you and that won't ever change.
He's using your situation to put questions in your daughter's mind about your commitment to her. Let him know you are aware of this and won't tolerate it.
Hopefully, your fiance will be a good stepdad to your daughter and not use what her dad is doing to weaken the relationship between him (biological dad) and her.
Everybody here needs to remember that a little girl is vulnerable and needs reassurance that she'll be secure and will still have a stable life once the remarriage happens.
2006-08-08 03:53:44 · answer #6 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a Daddy and have two stepchildren who do live with us. When they visit, Daddy does not ask anything of them and he pays attention to them, spends money on them - because it is on weekends and he is not working. Sounds like heaven, doesn't it? A six year old does not really understand what is best for them; however, you need to really think hard about how much attention your child is getting from you now that you have become deeply involved with a man. Probably not enough these days and she resents it.
FYI, We also have a seven year old together and if we were to get divorced, I do not think I would bring another man home to stay before she is off to college. Having been in the position of stepmom for 10+ years I have seen just how sad it is for kids of broken homes when Mom & Dad are distracted by their search for new relationships.
2006-08-08 05:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by Stepmomof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard situation to be in. I am in some what the same boat. My daughter is 15 and wants to live with her father, but I know it is because dad doesn't have any rules. You need to ask yourself just how your fiance treats your daughter. What does your daughter tell you about him? How does she react when she is around him? There has to be some reason that she doesn't want to be there.
2006-08-08 03:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Leslee L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a divorced father so I think I can give you a insight. One, its because he is not there alot and she is trying to bond with him. As for the other, hopefully, both of you will realize that the breakup is about you to and not her and work together NOT to use her as a pawn. It took me years to realize this and now my kids pay the price. Tell him that. Another thing is that most parents that divorce try to replace the other parent. NEVER do that, you need to think of the child 1st, you second. when you divorce, relationships become last on your list, your daughter (kids) 1st. Side note, list to Dr. Laura, she has good insight on issiues like this.
2006-08-08 03:48:13 · answer #9 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that your ex is jealous and is trying to hurt you by using your daughter. Don't pay any attention to him, he's probably an idiot. That happened with my son, so I know how it is. Talk to you're daughter about this, and see how she's feeling, because that's all that matters anyway!! Good Luck
2006-08-08 03:56:20 · answer #10 · answered by ~ Just Me ~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋