Ok, we've been seeing eachother for over a year now. I've known him almost my entire life, I have two children, ages 3 & 7. Some days he feel like he can do it and some days he say he don't know if he's ready for it. I'm just about ready to give up, I'm tired of being at a stand still, either he can or he can't. What should I do?
2006-08-08 03:24:11 · 18 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Does he love them? Do they love him? If the answer to either of these is no, he wouldn't be a good stepfather in any case.
If the answer to both is yes, then back off of making it an issue. All you're doing is wrecking the relationship between you and him, which makes the question irrelevant.
2006-08-08 03:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least he is honest. If he doesn't know, then he is right not to commit. That could be devastating for you and your children.
I respect him for understanding that it is a really hard thing to do. Any kind of parenting is hard. Some days I feel I can do it and some days I feel I can't. I just have to, that's all.
This is a serious issue and I would suggest counselling before you force him into something that will turn into a disaster.
2006-08-08 10:30:19 · answer #2 · answered by grapeshenry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him that ultimatum. He's obviously insecure about it... Would you want an insecure man who is also indecisive raising your children?? I wouldnt! If he knew you had kids from the get go, then he should be more accepting. If he isnt, then maybe he is just using this as an excuse to not take the next step. I say DEF give him an ultimatum, give him ONE week to think about it, and if he doesnt decide, MOVE ON! There are plenty of men out there willing to be step dads.
2006-08-08 10:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If any man I want a relationship with couldn't make up his mind about accepting my kids, I wouldn't even consider him for anything other than a friend.
My children come before any man and I will not even discuss whether he will or whether he won't because my kids aren't
going to be placed in a position of a decision by a man I am in a relationship with.
If he don't want to be up to stepfathering, I suggest he step.
Good Bye!
2006-08-08 10:30:53 · answer #4 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't make the honest commitment to try then get rid of him. Sorry, but you have to do what's best for your children and in the long run you will do what's best and you will be happier that you did.
I wish you you the best - stay strong.
2006-08-08 10:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by jarhed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let go of this one. He can't help it that fathering is not his forte, but you DO have children and they can't accept "maybe" as an answer for what is supposed to be a committed relationship.
2006-08-08 10:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time. Maybe yous' can try family and individual counseling. My soon to be hubby was the same way at first. We have had our ups and downs but we stuck it out and worked through it.
2006-08-08 10:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by motherofbjz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him to.."Shi* or get off the pot!" He needs to make up his mind!! If he cant ...Then,you make it up for him! End it so you can find a man who loves you and those children enough to make that commitment! Take Care! and Good Luck.....
2006-08-08 10:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by mrssmokestack003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not ready then he shouldn't be there. Your children have to come first and if he can't accept that- then bye bye
2006-08-08 10:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you and your children are a package deal. you don't deserve to be with someone that can't deal with that. you can find a better man out there that will except you and your kids 100%. i was lucky enough to find one, you will be to. there's a lot of good men out there. good luck to you and your kids :)
2006-08-08 10:30:29 · answer #10 · answered by cyngen's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋