I have a 16 year old daughter, she has a boyfriend. We are always fighting over rules, she does not want to follow them, and she's always telling me what she is going to do..........my questions is. What should a 16 year old be allowed to do, and should strict restrictions be enforced? She's a good girl as far as not getting into drugs and alch. but her mouth is overwhelming. Her will to do what she wants is horrible!
2006-08-08 03:12:38 · 17 answers · asked by tab2508 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
There is no standard that can generally applied to every child. My Mother always said you do what a child needs. For some children, there is a definite need to be strict; whereas, other children can be trusted.
She needs to understand the world doesn't revolve around her and that she needs to learn how to express herself in an adult manner. My Mom always said if you want to be treated like an adult then start acting like one.
2006-08-08 03:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by Mosaic 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A 16 year old should have restrictions and rules, but you can't suspend them from doing everything. I was raised with rules and restrictions on some things. But at 16 when your just getting your drivers license and the boyfriend thing, well things are changing..you have to try to inforce rules on her, but at the same time allow her to try things and make mistakes, i mean thats what life is all about. Making mistakes and learning from them. Be strict, but not physco strist. She'll thank you for it in the long run :)
2006-08-08 04:05:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, she is almost 18, and needs to learn how to make decisions of her own good and bad, so that while she is still under your care you can help her learn from her mistakes.
You said that she is a good child, so it seems she is making good decisions already. As child get older parents must give more space and losen the ropes, so that she can function as an adult when she is off to college. If she is a good kid, treat and trust her like a good kid.
This does not mean you let her do what ever she wants, keep a close eye out for dangerous and bad behaviors.
2006-08-08 04:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by Tim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she is not a grown woman so she needs to follow your rules or as my parents would tell...there is the door. Be strict on her, she will eventually get it thru her thick head. As long as she living in your house she will follow rules and if she does not like then she can get a job, a car and her place to live and do whatever she feels like...I know it sounds harsh but it worked for me and shut my mouth till I finished high school...now I am 34 years old. Do not give her any slack.
2006-08-08 04:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by Coast2CoastChat.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is not a child, you may have to back off on battles you can not win. Being to strict will ensure she will not follow your rules. She is becomming a young woman and will not only demand more freedom but will take it obviously if she's doing so already. If she does her own thing now do you think adding more rules for her to ignore will work. You need to find a way to communicate to your daughter as a young adult. Insure she's aware of birth control options as well as taking charge of her own health care.
2006-08-08 05:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im 21, My parents gave me rules, but they werent really strict. I asked them now why didnt they give me strict rules? they told me to help me grow. she's 16 and she'll soon be an adult. she needs to learn how the world is around her. thats where trust comes into play, youve got to trust that she isnt doing wrong. Call and Check up on her while shes out. Just trust each other.
2006-08-08 03:21:03 · answer #6 · answered by Jamie K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her.Put her in check.Let her know your rules and give her good reasons to follow them not just,Because Im your mother!,just let her know how you feel and tell her to explain why she think she can do the things that she thinks she should be able to do.
hope that helps good luck a remember to be openminded understand her point of view b/c u were 16 before.
2006-08-08 03:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Da Pr0bl3m♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has a boyfriend talk to her about birthcontrol and protection.Im 18 and acted like that when I was 16.Now I have 2 kids and im married.Talk to her instead of yelling.Try and be her friend like my mom did.If you tell her no shes just going to do it anyway,wouldnt you rather know about it?Just be glad shes not doing drugs.Get to know her boyfriend a little bit.Make sure hes not after one thing.Shes almost an adult and shes old enouph to get married,I did at that age.So would you rather her get married or be her friend and talk to her about this kind of thing.
2006-08-08 03:21:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not let her talk to you like that if her mouth doesn't improve she goes nowhere, If you let her talk to you like that and she doesn't get things taken away she will learn to talk like that all the time to get what she wants.
Remember your still guiding her even if she says she doest want it. Its hard but it is our responsibility as a parent to teach them. Hang in there it will get better. If you put a stop to it now it will last a very short time because she will know you wont put up with it.
2006-08-08 03:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean what she should be allowed to do, examples please!
She needs to get good grades, do her chores, come in time for curfew (11 or 12 o'clock), no talking back, no disrespect, no wearing inappropriate clothing.
If she does not listen to you, ground her. Restrict her activities (phone, TV, sports, etc).
2006-08-08 03:27:15 · answer #10 · answered by curious_maya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋