ok, so my boyfriend of 2 years broke up w/ me about 2 & a half months ago & I am still upset about it. Some days I hate him & other days I miss him & want him back. When he broke up w/ me he said @ first it was because I was possessive and then he told me he just wanted to be single for awhile. Well two weeks later he starts dating a girl who is 15 (he is 17) & she lives 3 hours away. And they only had met once before they started dating. I don't know what to do anymore. Ive been depressed for awhile & it feels like I will never get over it. Then school is going to start in less then a month and Im really scared to see him because I haven't seen him all summer and I loved it but Im afraid when I see him @ school Im going to get upset and the progress I had made will be gone. I just feel like noone would want to date me. I should just be patient, 3 months isn't really that long of a time right? Do you think that his relationship is just a rebound? What should I do?
2006-08-08 03:10:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't know if his other relationship is just a "rebound." There's too little information. Unfortunately, you can't control his actions or feellings.
I hear you say you keep focusing on him. Regardless if anything further happens between the two of you, for your mental health and peace of mind, it will likely be good for you to treat him well and work toward reconciliation - regardless of whether he evers treats you better.
I can sympathize with your statements of heartache and loss of something you feel cannot be replaced. You attached to him in ways more complex and deep than most people will give you credit.
Here are some recommendations I have lived by personally. I have lost important loves in the past, and that lost still bothers me on a daily basis. So I don't know if these are "answers", but they have worked the best for me of all the options I have tried.
When you feel you have been betrayed or abandoned, consider these ideas:
1) Just because the person you love doesn't return the same back to you, your love for them may still likely be real and good.
2) In rare circumstances, there might be cases where a person hides their love for you and they still truly love you. But I really don't know whether that is true, and I'm still seeking better wisdom on this topic.
3) If you are in love with someone who has abandoned you or hides their love for you, the answer is NOT necessarily to try to stop loving them or to deny you still care for them.- no matter how much you perceive a) their absence or b) their misconceptions and misrepresentations of you - hurt you.
4) You will be tempted to be angry or hate back at them, but consider never stopping loving them.
INSTEAD: To the degree you perceive the people you love have not shown you fair love in return, work to reach out and show love TO OTHERS. There are so many people who will benefit from your intelligent, loving actions. If you look consistently and carefully, you will find people who reciprocate in new, equal, and unique ways.
I wish you happiness. If you feel trapped in a cycle, feeling you have lost a true friend consider this: Just as there is probably not one answer to solve all of your questions, there probably is not just one person to meet all your interests.
To twist the Rolling Stones - You can't always get what you want, but if you try new and different things, you just might find other people to meet your different needs.
I'm sorry for your feelings of disconnection. Sincerely sorry. You may not be able to persuade him to change - that may be beyond your control. But you can choose whether you will love always.
One final suggestion - With the inner circle of friends and family that still supports you - debate the ideas discussed above and see if they have even better suggestions for you.
2006-08-08 04:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by onemorealternative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His new relationship evidently isn't even a real one if she is 3 hrs away so yes its a rebound. As for you... Your young try and notice more people at school, be confident. You do not need him and you need to believe that. Sooner or later he'll realize he lost someone that really loved him. Hang in there!!
2006-08-08 03:23:07 · answer #2 · answered by jdnsmama1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r going thru what every girl goes thru when dumped.u did enough of mourning not get ur life back.rebound or not he has clearly moved on.forget him.be tough.dont make a fool of urself.start school with a smile and stay out of his way.but remember to take it easy in future.get to know the guy well before committing.
2006-08-09 23:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by archie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seem, good fella, there is no longer something to concern approximately :) we've all had some issues take place early in our life, by using starting to be up and, as you mentioned, raging hormones. it extremely is surely a outstanding element which you have acknowledged and defined this as certainly one of these element. yet truthfully, each and every person has some variety of a "gross" secret. they simply p.c.. on you because you're exhibiting it as a weak spot, and yeah, they're in basic terms young infants at that age, so their evaluations do no longer extremely count. you are able to no longer care approximately it that plenty, in basic terms proceed along with your life as established. in case you get in a communicate with one guy or woman approximately it, in basic terms be sparkling and tell him what you mentioned right here too, that it substitute into in basic terms hormones, etc. you have defined what it substitute into by applying your self :) in the event that they do make relaxing of you, looking on their temper, the two take it as a comedian tale and snigger approximately it too, or in basic terms forget approximately them. And besides, they're probable idiots, so as I mentioned, their opinion or movements shouldn't count plenty to you. wish this enables :)
2016-11-04 03:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to get over him! wheather it is a rebound on his side or not, dating this girl, you should let him Free to be with whom he ever wants if you're not possesive of this guy.
For your own sake, date other guys. See what other guys has to give you, maybe if it as you say, that you are not possesive, you will make it to keep a guy for yourself but forget this guy.
2006-08-08 03:18:59 · answer #5 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suggest u to forget that guy becoz he don't care about ur feelings and datin other girl just after break up with u .for him ur just a time pass.so don't think too much about him.and just concentrate in ur studies.if u really thinks he loves u then u too startin other guy .then see what is his reaction on this??try this formula of jealousy .may b it's work .or if not then u just forget him...
2006-08-09 03:31:37 · answer #6 · answered by simi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to get over him and maybe if you stop being possessive you will get him back. work on it hun.
2006-08-11 16:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by brownsuga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, just get on with your life, i mean it . he is just not worth it.
one day u will just laugh it off on how naive u have been.
2006-08-08 04:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋