Can I put a small tape recorder in the house while I'm not home and do my own investigating on my own husband?

Question

I know you should trust and have the bennifit of the doubt and all that GOOD stuff but he makes me think things are going on behind my back when he is drinking, says nothing is going on when he's sober so what am I left to do??? and how am I really ever gonna' find out the truth if I don't? (he drank a case to himself and kept sneaking off to somewhere in the neighborhood, he would then say he didn't go anywhere where I asked him where he went, he did this 4 times, was he really just drunk and being stupid? or was he somewhere with someone?) Please help and be serious... This is a marriage of 7 years our anniversary is on the 20th it is not a high school romance. Yes he is an alcoholic and yes he has done this a few times in the past 4 years, I'd say at least 6 other times....

Answer 1

radio shack has phone taps they are easy to install and work well the go in the basement where the phone line comes in and records all phone calls also nany cams spy on whats going on in your house both ways can help you find out whats going on

Answer 2

If you don't have any kids then leave him! If he's an alcoholic then your future isn't too bright! If he lives to his 60's he'll have many health problems that ...yes...you will have to help him with. His liver will be shot, and you can watch you last years be spent with an individual that basically will rob you of your remaining youth. Buy the time he finally kicks the bucket you'll be too old to have fun and spend the remainder of your days wandering the malls insearch of the perfect soft yogurt. Not a pretty site I agree. The ball is in your court... but typically women don't like to make cut and dry decisions on theri life. They tend to like to let things "evolve" (but they will "help" evolution along).

So break this mold...don't lower yourself to "spying" on your husband. Sit him down and put him on a "get well" program. If he fails that then you dump him...period. You don't have another moment to waste on this unproductive relationship.

Check out the following website. It can answer your questions much better than I can. It will also give you a "bird's eye" view of a man's psyche and a look into what to do with addictions.

http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good Luck

Answer 3

This seems pretty serious and you do have reason behind why you want to make sure that he isn't cheating on you. It is for your own and familiy's protection. Plus, drinking to the point of being drunk isn't good b/c it leads to other problems. It's hard enough being in a relation and married and to work things out as a couple through differences that with alcohol being involved makes it worse-certainly not easier. So I agree and think it is a good idea to have a small tape recoreder hidden in your house for the sake of protecting one's family.

Answer 4

yes you can use a voice activated tape recorder,but that just works if its in the room with him.Why do you think he is cheating at home when your gone?are you sure he isn't leaving?You can buy a recording devise that hooks to your phone line and only tapes the phone calls,its legal to tap your own phone line, you can purchase this at radio shack and If he's cheating you know there will be some phone calls.If he's drinking don't start a argument while he is drunk because you could get hurt.Talk to him while he is sober about getting some professional help about your marriage and his drinking,If he loves you and knows he has a drinking problem you will have a good chance of getting him some help.I hope things work out and you can get him some help and save your marriage.And i pray he isn't going out on you.my prayers will be with you and him.If you need to contact me just visit my blog and email me.Marshall..

Answer 5

I have been in the spot where my other half has put up a baby camara to watch who comes over and who I talk to and all and he would wait till I went to bed to watch it and then I would get yelled at or woken up if he heard me talking to my mother or my friends...He was allowed to look at other women but I wasn't allowed to express if someone I saw was good looking or anything...If you ever sat on that side of things then you would understand that it is wrong. It feels even less great when you don't have any privacy.
If you don't trust the man you are with, well then leave him...No one should feel like a caged animal at any point in their lives.It also seems like you are used to this and complacent, since the two of you have been together for seven years. Maybe if you left he would get help. Sounds like you are just inabling him to do what he has always done.
good luck

Answer 6

And you are still married to this drunk why? You already know he lies to you, drinks behind your back, what else do you want to know? What good would a tape do? It won't prove or show you anything you don't already know. If you can no longer respect and admire him, (2 of the three things that keep marriages going) then the passion is gone too (the other third. Why, honey are you still there?

Answer 7

Unless you think he's doing something at home it would be a waste of time to put a recorder in the house.

If he's not willing to get help for his addiction the best thing you can do is get yourself a good counselor and a divorce lawyer. It's hard but you will be so much better off in the long run.

Answer 8

Yes you can put a small recorder in your house. You aren't breaking any laws because its your house.

If you suspect he is sneaking off, how will the recorder at home help? Will you just know when he leaves and comes back?

If he is an alcoholic, you need to attend the al-anon meetings. He may not want to go to AA, but you could get information from al-anon to help you deal with him.

Answer 9

You could do that but why? If you feel that way about your marriage, then I'd say it time to go. If he's doing stupid stuff like that, you are wasting your time. He needs to go get help. Try a trial separation. That will give him time to work all this out if he wants to keep you. If not, then you'll know where you stand. Good luck honey, you need it.

Answer 10

He may just be trying to hide how MUCH he drinks, or maybe he's getting high to top it off, it doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating.

Keep an eye on the money, that's the quickest way to see if something is going wrong in a marriage.

Answer 11

If he's sneaking around the neighbourhood, what good would a camera in the house do? What exactly are you trying to find out? That he drinks? Because you already know the answer to that.