Why so negative on teen moms?

Question

I don't understand why some people say such hurtful things to teens having kids. Yes i understand we are young, but that doesn't mean we are stupid! I am 17 years old (i'll be 18 when my daughter is born) and I'm 22 weeks pregnant! I am married to the love of my life and i couldn't be happier. I finished school last year with honors and im going to college for Criminal Justice. So other than my age... how am i any different then any other mother?

Answer 1

More to the point, how are you different from other teenaged mothers. You seem to have your head on straight and you're in a committed relationship. Check the statistics on what happens to children born to children. Being a parent isn't a 9-5 job. Having a baby because you need someone to love you is childish and foolish. Same as having a baby, no matter how old you are, to keep a relationship together. Pregnancies end, the newness of a baby wears off and if you're not dedicated to the life you've brought into the world, it guarantees disaster.

I hope you'll be able to manage school and homelife, possibly a job as well. Make your mum proud. It's easy enough while they're still inside you, not demanding anything. Won't be so easy when you're on your way out the door and the baby suddenly needs changing, then you're late. It can be done. Just keep in mind it's not going to be easy. Raising a family and balancing everything else isn't like it is on t.v.

Answer 2

Because you are young and when you are my age you may sit here and wish that you could have done it differently. You are missing out on things.And yes, is he the love of your life....I am sure of it, but how much have you experienced yet? All of your life so far you have been a kid. With other people in charge. I am not saying you will be a bad mom but with more life experience you would have been a better mom. Think about it this way. You are going to have a child, don't you want that child to see the world and experience some things before they settle down and get married and raise a family? I was 17 when I got pregnant. I am 38 now. My children are 21,15,11. I certainly know that when I had my other children I was so much more prepared. I had been to school and I had more maturity. I concentrated on all the big things. Unfortunately my oldest daughter decided to follow in my footsteps and had her first child at 19. I had wished more for her. Keep up with the good work, stay in school. Even when it's hard and trust me as someone who has been there, it will be. Prove them all wrong, you can do it...I did:)

Answer 3

Katz is right, you are exceptional in that you seem to have your life planned out. You got married, are having a baby you and your hubby wants and are continuing your education.

Most teens don't think past the their phone conversation their on with their best friend talking about "How Billy Logan's butt is so cute". They don't stop and think about the impact the consequences of their actions are going to have on their life and then want other people to take care of them when those consequences arise. They have sex without thinking through the ramifications of what could occur.

I've seen too many times where the guy puts all of the responsibilities on the girl. I've seen the girl dump the baby in mommy and daddy's care while they go off an have a good old time while her parents raise the child. The boy and girl made that child. They made the decision to do what makes babies, but don't want to take the responsibility.

Most kids (not you) want to have all the pleasures of being an adult, but none of the responsibilites. They want to rack up huge credit card bills, but have their parents pay for it. They want mom and dad to buy them a car, pay for the gas, insurance and monthly payments while they don't lift a single finger to help their parents pay for it. They want the cell phones, expensive clothes, trips, CD's and stereos without responsibility of having to pay for it. And that attitude has carried over into parenthood. They want to have sex with everyone and anyone, but don't want the responsibility of taking care of the child.

You young lady are a far cry from the norm and you should be very proud of yourself. Many in your age group can learn a lot from you.

Answer 4

You're not different.
The negative things said about teens are directed to 13 year olds who dont know the meaning of sex. I think its great you're doing so well in life. Some teens, unlike you, don't know what they're going to be doing in the next year, or the next day for that matter. Lots aren't married yet either, they've not had the time to date and find their soul mate. Lots of other teens are rude to teen girls who get pregnant also, because of how to adults act. I think it's their choice, I just feel sorry for them because they have no idea the pressures, the struggles, the things that mother's have to go through, and it's 18 years of their life that they gave up. Most regret it later.

Congrats on the pregnancy!

Answer 5

If you succeed, you may be one of the rare instances. In most cases, things don't work out as planned. When I was in school, during my junior and senior years several of my friends got pregnant. They just thought it was the coolest thing in the world. And everyone was just so excited to have showers and all that. I thought it was ridiculous. And from what I know...each of those girls that got knocked up while we were still in high school, they were married within a year or two of graduating, and divorced by the time they were 21. Why do people say teen moms are stupid? Because more often than not, they aren't ready for it, they aren't thinking completely about it. They idealize it and don't think in reality terms. They think it's fun, they think it's a game, and their world comes tumbling down when they realize it's not.

Answer 6

Probably because some teens are very, very young, like 13 or 14, and haven't even started high school. Also, sometimes birth control isn't used when it should have been. These are the teens that shouldn't be having kids. Your situation is different than what I typically see on here. You're older, and you finished high school and are going off to college. Most teens aren't with the father, and they can't finish school.

Answer 7

You've got a very positive attitude, congrats on becoming a mom. Good luck in college as well. I can't answer for the other mothers but I know that my sister had her daughter at 18, before she got pregnant she didn't much care about most things then she decided to finish high school, go to college and now she's a law clerk and planning on returning to become a lawyer.
Keep your head up and good luck :)

Answer 8

Some of the things that some people say about teen moms are true, a lot of them drop out of school , get on welfare and do nothing else but sit home and have babies, some of them don't know who the fathers are.You are one of the exceptions. How do you know in 17yrs that you have met the love of your life , hopefully you didn't get married just because you were pregnant. If you and your husband can provide for and love your child then that's all that matters.

Answer 9

You are very responsible!! Proud of you! There are many teens who don't care about the baby and are selfish. Like not going to the doctors or not telling there parents. That just means they are not ready for responsibility. A lot of them aren't married and doing as well as you. A lot of them don't want there baby either. You are a very responsible 17 almost 18 year old!! We need more teens like you who are willing to except there actions and deel with the consequences responsibly

Answer 10

How are you different from other TEEN mothers? You're married, you've already graduated high school, and it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are on the right track. Most teenagers who come here for advice rarely even know HOW babies are made, much less have any idea what they're going to to with the rest of their life, and most of them aren't mature enough to raise a child. Your situation is unique and refreshing, and I say "kudos!" to you.