Married people?

Question

I have been married for 10 yrs. We have 2 kids together and 3 from his first marriage. I am his 3rd wife and he is my only husband. In the beginning we had the normal trobles but for the most part we were happy. Within the last 4yrs we had a few threesomes that we both totally regret. Ever since then our marriage has fallen apart. We are mean and hurtfull to each other, cannot be friends anymore and have drifted apart. I even left him and moved to another town 2 yrs ago, then he refused to let me see my kids so I got back together with him. But I never loved him like I used to. It has gotten to the point that I hate to even look at him, don't want him near me, we don't have sex anymore, for at least the last 6 months. And he is up and down about us. One minute he is lovey and the next spitting fire at me. He says that he wont see our boys go through what his first 3 did and so we are staying together. I have asked him to move out daily. But he wont go. What would you do?

We are still living together, no we dont fight in front of the kids, and we live in my dads house with my dad. So if any one goes it will be him. And for the sex thing, when one of us tries the other doesn't want to.

One more thing, he used to hit me at least twice a year. Broken nose, black eyes, almost crushed my throat, I couldn't eat or hardly drink for a week, and ripped out enough of my hair by my forehead that I had to wear a bandana for a month.

I never did leave my kids with him. I let them go for a overnight visit and he refused to give them back to me. Then threatened suicide with them in the house. I a deputy go there and check on them and he lied and told the deputy he never said that. Also the last time he hit me I called the cops so he hasn't done it since. Been about a year.

Answer 1

Hmmm, doesn't sound good. Do you really want to fix things? He sounds like such an idiot, I wouldn't want him near me either. I'd say, get a good attorney, kick him out and take control of the situation. Don't let him get your kids (custody). I hope the best for you. He doesn't deserve your love - sorry. Take care.

Answer 2

Sweetie any man that abuses a woman has a serious problem. Sounds like he needs some anger management classes. If you love him and he says he loves you. Then seek the help you need. If that won't work. Then I'd file for divorce and get custody of the kids. It is good that you don't fight in front of them. WE don't need any little boys growing up and doing the same to thier wives someday. Abuse is the most hurtful thing a woman can deal with. Trust me I've been there. Find some counceling some where and see happens after you go couple times.

Answer 3

I have one question for you......... WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR KIDS WITH HIM TO BEGIN WITH? YOU NEVER LEAVE YOUR KIDS BEHIND!!! Never stay together for the sake of the kids. That is one of the most wrong reasons to stay together. The kids will see that mom and dad are not happily married like they should be or like other parents and it will cause problems with them in their relationships in the future. The 2 of you need to sit down like adults and discuss what you both can do to make it a half way decent split. I would suggest you both take equal time in taking the kids equal amounts of time. I would get this problem resolved and take your kids and move elsewhere but close enough the kids can see their father anytime they want to. Do not deprive the kids you both have together of seeing their father cause you will end up the bad guy and be hated eventually. Let the kids make their own decision on how they feel about their dad.****** Like the one person said "have sex" is not the answer to your problem it makes things worse

Answer 4

If he is not abusing you, or hitting you in any way, then you don't have a right to leave. You need to stay on account of your kids. At the same time, you both need to develop respect for each other. I hope to goodness you all are not being mean to each other infront of the kids, because then that isn't healthy for them either. Sometimes you have to live with consequences you created. When you had that threesome, you both lost respect for each other but your children shouldn't suffer for the consequences.

Answer 5

Do u know there are fights and all these things between every couple, but the only thing keeps them close and makes them loveable to each other is sex, unfortunately u don't have it with Ur husband of last 6 months ( shame on both of u ). Go for sex with him and life will come to normal. In addition to all other relations and things sex is a must thing between a wife and husband. Only this thing keeps them one, otherwise there are differences at every topic and at every decision, but here they are one, both should be willing to. So only sex can bring u both close to one other, don't waste time go and try it.

Answer 6

Get counseling quick if u both agree on fixing the relationship. I always tell ppl not to bring another person into their relationship because once that is done, the relationship will never be the same. You both have alot to work on so I suggest u make an appointment with a counselor and work o it quick.

Answer 7

Get some marriage counseling so you learn how to get back on track with each other. Neither of you are happy living how you are and you are both tearing down each other's self esteem by slinging names back and fourth. It especially not healthy for the kids. You are only hurting the kids by not letting them see their father. Be the bigger person and let him see his kids when he wants to.

Answer 8

you have to do what you know needs done get a lawyer or you move

Answer 9

Make the split.

Answer 10

TAKE YOUR KIDS AND MOVE OUT, THEN GET A LAWYER SO THAT YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU STAND.