When we exchange our child my ex is alaways bitter and angry but he says he is happy. How can you act angry, bitter and sarcastic and be happy at the same time? He says he has moved on but. If that's the case why the anger and bitterness?
2006-08-08 00:33:43 · 14 answers · asked by bigblock_475_hp d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing you can do, but smile
2006-08-08 00:39:25 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he controlling in the marriage?
If so, this is where it is stemming from. He has lost control over you and this is his way of dealing with it. My ex could have been "Sybil's" twin...multiple personalities. He went through so many mood changes in seconds. He would start out being nice, asking how I was doing, then it was bitter, saying I'd never make it on my own, to anger, saying I'd pay for breaking up our marriage, then to almost a pleading, why I won't just stop and come back home where I belong, to a pathetic remorse dejected person walking off and wiping his eyes. This happened constantly, every time I was around him. At first when I went back in the house or my car I wondered what was going on and why. Then I would remember all the things he said to me and the way he was during the marriage and all the tears I had cried and he didn't care. He gave to me, but he also taught me. Today, he's still bitter after 8 years but he knows he can't control me any more, I broke that chain when I turned a deaf ear to his treatment of me.
2006-08-08 08:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay... My guess?
He's still angry at YOU. He's probably just fine with the children and his new relationships. Since perception is everything and you only get to see him around YOU... you won't get that he's only that way around you.
You can prove it... by getting a sitter... then going somewhere that he is... and not being seen. He will be happy go lucky until he sees YOU!
And THUS... again you don't see YOUR PART in this. And that probably contributed to why you're split. You don't see your own hurtful actions. You can see when you're being a B I T C H... you can't see how nastiness is contagious. HOWEVER, you see it quite clearly when it's dealt back to you.
If you want to fix this... the first thing you got to do is figure out the things you did to DESERVE this kind of treatment. Then apologize for them... and try to make it up to him... THEN... he will treat you with the respect and care a GOOD person deserves.
I hope you GET some of what I'm telling you.
2006-08-08 07:41:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-fiance was the same way with me and that is exactly WHY i am no longer with him. He was very bitter, jealous, and angry feelings towards me that we always fought. This isn't love and you must move on. It sounds like you still have feelings for him, but most esp. he should at least be respectful to you. It is a very hard situation esp. with a child being involved. Raise him/her to the best of your ability and do your best to keep him away from violence and bad language-he/she doesn't need to hear any of that and he/she may pick up on it as the child gets older. As it is already it is very hard for the little one.
2006-08-08 08:53:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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ya sure
2006-08-08 08:01:20 · answer #5 · answered by pritam_hii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously although he's moved on the pain of it all hasnt vanished.. scars dont disappear over night when someone hurts u.... and dont forget , that his pain isnt all about the You and Him part of the divorce.. his pain could stem from once upon a time he saw his kids every day , was able to tuck them in to bed at night, play with them whatever.. and now he only gets to see his kids , on court mandated days.. women sometimes forget that , because they have the kids every day.. try to put urself in his shoes how would u feel if u couldnt see ur kids every day , or werent active in their lives every day.. my husband refers to his divorce with his x wife as she Ripped the kids away from him, because although their marriage obviously wasnt great, he was a very good dad , that loved his kids very much.. and misses them and hates not being able to be a part of their life every day..
So understand that he has the right to be bitter.. does it help? no it doesnt and eventually the bitterness will fade and just become routine.. Life as he once knew it, doesnt exsist anymore.. and now he has to make the most of what he was dealt, but it doesnt mean he has to like it..
2006-08-08 07:41:39 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has not moved on. Telling you he is happy is his way of making you think you don't matter....but you still do. I don't know what he might be about, perhaps the fact he doesn't see his child as often, or he still has feelings for you, or the child support is really strapping him. You know the man.
React? Don't react is the key, here. Smile, and NEVER diss your ex to your children.
2006-08-08 07:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some peple just cant admit they havent moved on...Quite sad,actually.If your ex has really moved on...there wont be any anger.Its his problem...Let him deal with it as long as he is not damaging your child's emotional health by his actions.If that is the case..Do what you have to to protect your child from his anger.Take Care...
2006-08-08 08:06:59 · answer #8 · answered by mrssmokestack003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is the way he acts... so is mine i stopped communicating with him last visit my sis supervised- he called her the night before and raised Cain because i was not there to sup the visit-- i told my lawyer's paralegal that unless there are lawyers and judges involved i don't want any contact with him at all if there is an emergency my sis will call him
it may not have helped matters but he is his new wife's problem i am not going to put up with it
2006-08-08 07:41:07 · answer #9 · answered by Star 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
someone told me that,then he see's your not in need of him anymore,that makes him so mad at me.
and that he was hopeing that i would maybe beg him back into my life,even thoe he's the one that left me.
and that when he see's that i'm doing just fine without him,he will start to feel like a loser.
just you watch and see, thats whats going on right now
he see's that your makeing it and he cann't stand the fact that you can stand on your own two feet without him.
good for you and poo on him.
2006-08-08 07:43:44 · answer #10 · answered by DENISE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They want you to believe that they are happy..yet they can't accomplish the "act"..how long has it been? When I left my ex..christ, he told EVERYONE we knew how sad he was...how heart broken...I, no doubt was the bad "guy" in everyones eyes...lol..that's probably where I adopted my fu*k you attitude..with him and everyone else...now adays my ex is fine with me...give him time!
2006-08-08 07:42:19 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋