2006-08-07 23:30:33 · 20 answers · asked by ALAN B 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Trivia
Three balloons, Mummy, Daddy and Baby. Baby keeps coming into the parents bedroom but he's not really allowed to as there's not enough room in their bed for all three of them. But he does it anyway and it's very, very cramped. So Baby lets a little bit of air out of Mummy. But there's still not enough room so he lets a little bit of air out of Daddy. But there's still not enough room so he lets a little bit of air out of himself and eventually gets to sleep snuggled up next to Mummy and Daddy. In the morning Daddy is very cross: "What have we told you about coming into our bed in the middle of the night? You know you're not supposed to do that! You've let your Mother down. You've let me down. But worst of all ... you've let yourself down!"
2006-08-07 23:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by Away With The Fairies 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Pattie looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Pattie explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Pattie explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
(you're gonna love this)
(its a real treat)
(wait for it)
The bank manager looks back at her and says .......
"It's a knick-knack, Pattie Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
2006-08-08 06:38:38 · answer #2 · answered by Vicky c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best joke ever -
Ok, there are these three turtles, and they decide to go for a picnic. One of them - Ralph - says 'I know this fantastic spot a couple of kms away, let's go there'
But the other turtles go, 'Ralph, we're turtles, it'll take us all day to get there!'
But Ralph insists it's beautiful, so they pack some sandwiches and bottles of sprite and head off. Sure enough, it takes them all day to get there, and they're starving and thirsty. But when they open their picnic basket, they see they've forgotten their bottle opener!
'You'll have to go back and get it Ralph, we need to drink and only you know the way'
Ralph goes 'I'm not going, you guys will eat my sandwiches.'
'No we won;t, we promise!'
'...well...ok, so long as you don't eat my sandwiches'
And Ralph sets off. Well the others wait all night, and all the next day, and there's still no sign of ralph. They've eaten their own sandwiches and they're starving. So they wait one more day, decide something must have happened to him, and that they'll die if they don't eat his food. They unwrap his sandwiches and Ralph jumps up from behind a rock and shouts 'I KNEW you'd eat my sandwiches, I'm NOT GOING!'
Geddit? makes me laugh. clearly the best joke here, but if you don't like it, at least give best answer to AwayWithTheFairies, her joke made me chuckle.
Have a good laugh!
2006-08-08 10:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by Jigga 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two men walking down the road, one has a dog on a lead.
The dog veers off to the right, and the owner says to the other guy do you mind if we go this way my dog wants a pee.
No problem says the other guy.
The dog reaches a wall, stands up on its back legs, puts its front paws against the wall and does its pee.
How long has he been doing that, says the guy.
Since a wall fell on him, says the owner.
2006-08-08 06:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why have Elephants got Big Ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom!
blimey, that still makes me smile after all these years!
2006-08-08 06:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Spook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man goes into the shop and asks shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. Brown or white ask shopkeeper
Doesn't matter says man, I got my bike outside......lol....hahahaha
2006-08-08 20:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by TINA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the animal cross the road?
2006-08-08 06:58:10 · answer #7 · answered by Lucy Lu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother likes to say "Gee, I sure wish I had enough money to buy an elephant." Sure enough, she will get someone every time that will ask her "But why would you want an elephant?" to which she replies "I don't, I just wish I had that much money."
I always thought that one was cute.
2006-08-08 06:36:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heard about the Irish fish?
It drowned.
2006-08-08 06:40:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."
2006-08-08 06:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by still breathing 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋