Girls, has this happened to you?

Question

After a heated discussion with my Partner the other day. Things were said that have got me thinking.

I'm due a payout - I'm not sure how much. Anyway Partner screams at me in the middle of the row that he wanted me to - and I quote - "put £5000 in his bank account and then he'd bugger off"......

Is the fact that I'm due this payout the only reason he's with me???

Does he love me? Should I just tell him to bugger off anyway??

I've been with him nearly five years. I thought I knew him - Obviously not.....

Help.

Answer 1

I'm off to Australia for my brothers wedding in October why don't you come with me we can blow about 5 grand!! and then when you get back give him a koala bear tell him to sleep with that because that is all he deserves.

Answer 2

1. What were you arguing about?
2. Was there a prior agreement in connection with the money?
3. What were YOUR plans as regards the money?
4. What does he want to do with the money?
5. What are your long term plans with him? (you've been 2gether for 5 years there must be some sort of commitment)
Please do not put your plans on hold at the expense of another - it never pays. You know him better - he wont be buggering off if you give him the money would he?

Answer 3

We all say things to hurt the people we love in the heat of the moment but, these are normally personal things meant to hurt at that time
Asking for money is mean but not hurtful as it shows that your partner is hoping to gain from your payout and feels that if he goes before you're paid out he will miss out
Without knowing the whole circumstances and the people concerned I would say pay him nothing and become a comfortable singleton for a while and enjoy your new found status

Answer 4

Oh hon, kick his *** to the curb. If he is going to talk to you like that, then you don't need him. Once he sees you leaving, he will apology, grovel and try anything to get you back. He's there for the money or the potential to get the money. I've been through something not quite like this. It was terrible and it took me almost 3 years to realize it. Get out now while you can AND DON'T MARRY HIM, because then your payout, half becomes his.
Honestly, when you get your $$$, go get your hair done, get a nice outfit and definately a new pair of shoes, go down to the local ice cream shop and get a double chocolate chip hot fudge sunday, eat it like it's your first meal in days... then you'll feel fat... but feel better about kicking him to the curb.

Answer 5

Anger always makes people say things they regret later- but they aren't necessarily untrue. So beware this partner of yours. Chances are he's really sorry now, so stay with him unless something like this happens again. Five years is a long time and it wouldn't be right to end the relationship at this point unless there was a very good reason. Talk to him, find out what his real intentions are, then make your mind up.

Best Wishes

Answer 6

Well, sounds like you both lost your tempers that's all- it's easy to say hurtful things when you are angry. Though I do know what you mean about whether you really do know somebody even after that length of time.

You could try sitting him down and having a calm discussion about it to get to the bottom of it all.

My mum would suggest baking a pie with dog food in it mixed with gravy and serving it up for his tea as a treat. It won't actually solve the problem but it might make you feel a bit better : )

S
x

Answer 7

hi,
How old are you and how long have you been together with this boy.
First,never let any man tell you to do something that you do not want to do, or feel uncomfortable doing.( I learn this from ,the same experience.)
What did he need the money for?Could he have been in trouble? then "why" couldn't he tell you that, after all you'll are suppose to be in a relationship.
So..he left....is it possible he was hurt by anybody? can you call his close buddies,parents or anyone that would hopefully know where he might have gone .( if no one knows his whereabouts do you think you where lied too..)
But if you find him go to him even if it is at work and wait for him, tilyou see him face to face. Are you rich, is that why he asked you for money?
Do you'll share living expenses? What if he doesn't come back,are you able to afford everything on your own?(if ...this happens hopefully he signed the lease with you. if ,he did go to your landlord and tell him/her that heleftThan you at least won't have to pay his part of the rent.
If...he is over and finshed with you,inform him nicely that you need him to please give you your money and his part of the living expenses...( keep all bills,have a copy of your lease on hand, and any other bills accured :keep
them all and all receipt s that you have all ready paid in his abscence like :electric,phone, cable.rent etc...to show him.(it isbetter to have double copies of everything filed away safely,if you loose them at least you will have
those copies.)If ..he won't give you the money tell him he has so much time or your going to sue him.Ask around for an attorney who will help you cheaply or free.
You have known this guy and been with him for five years,was he messing around on you?id you feel that he was acting stressed or different the days before he demanded the money.At least, you will have bills, receipts and the deposit slip when you deposited the money in his bankaccount for proof....
If ..he did use you..ihope you learned to never givr money away without a signed IOU.I pray for your sake that he will come back. But before letting him have ,listen to his side of the story..than you can decide "if"you" want him in your life again. Please be strong. i hope you have family and friends to support during this time.Also,always remembe,you are a strong woman and you do not have to have a man in your life to be complete. I hope you have
good self-esteem, and like yourself because these are important ( if a person sees that you aes weak, they will continue to walk all over you and use you time and time again......
The answer to another of your questions is:no,I donot hink he loves you or why would he use you, and steal from you and leave you all alone without calling and letting you know what is going on.I t sounds like he has done this before. he is a very mean, selfishboy in my opinion.I hope evrything works out your wat and that you have learned from this..we all make mistakes:that is how we grow,remeber that!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Tell him there has been a big problem (make one up) you are no longer going to be able to get the money and see what he does!

Tell him it is just as well because you think that the people around you are only there for the money, and you would not have given anyone anything which probably would have caused problems- see what he says to that.

Answer 9

i had a friend who got with a girl whos husband died in a car crash, she was due a massive payout for this and she also had a well paid job while he was skint, he told me about her and how much she would be worth, what she had, but never about her personality, when i talk about my fiance i say she is wonderful, sweet, attractive or clever cos thatsd what i see in her, however my now ex friend is now married to the woman and a dedicated father to her son and there daughter, and would never do anything to rock the boat, men sometimes have there own motives, use caution

Answer 10

There are a lot of good answers here, especially the ones that acknowledge the fact that it's been a 5-year relationship rather than a 5-week one. If you've been together that long you should be able to come to an adult decision.

Answer 11

Cor what a thing to say, dont forget that when we have an argument we do sometimes say things we dont mean.. have you been due this payout during your whole relationship? if not then dont worry he was probably just in a mood.
Try having a talk to him about it, if you feel you cant talk to him about it then you shouldnt really be with him comunication is the key to relationship! good luck!