What are the healthiest and most effective ways to cope while going through a divorce?

Question

My "husband" of 11 yrs. is now living in an apartment owned by his mother and has gone to work for his mother's company. He asked me today where he should send the divorce papers. Although I want him to heal and be happy (from the marriage and divorce), I'm so frustrated that happiness is coming more readily to him while I'm still stuck in sadness and depression. Furthermore, I can't help but be irritated with the mother-in-law for enticing him with this new life. She's tickled to have her son back (they live an hour and 15 min. away), but does she care that his family is severed (we have 2 kids)? How do I stop envying their happiness and start finding happiness of my own? And is it wrong to feel this way?

Answer 1

First you feel your ex is happy. You think this you don't know this. As far as in law having her son back. Again you think she is happy about everything. She is his Mother and she will do anything to help him as you would do for your children.
Don't dwell on them start looking and working on your self. Get counseling and start talking about your feelings. Divorce effects each one differently and not many are happy about it.
You need to worry about yourself and get your head together. You will be happier in time. It takes a long time for this but you will find yourself and be so much happier in the long run.

Good Luck

Answer 2

First you must learn to take one day at a time. and. never anticipate what tomorrow will hold. He is showing perhaps happiness right now but in time this will all hit him emotionally. Eleven years of marriage is not something to just file away. Apparently he is around his Mother now and even working for her company. He is getting all the sympathy he needs from her currently. I assure you after time that will become old. He may wake up some day and realize you were the best thing that ever happened to him..but then it will be too late. You get into
a group of divorcees and speak your mind. Tears are a part of healing, so do not be afraid to cry. Get involved in
Church, allow them to be a part of your support emotionally. Pray earnestly to the Lord above. He will hear you that I can assure you..God Bless you.

Answer 3

Get a .45 and spend an hour or so a week at the range if you live in town, or just out back if you live in the country. Its amazing how much stress can be allieveated by sending a few .45 calibre chunks of lead into a target . I found it not only works for divorce but most of lifes lil aggrivations. Envy, if I recall correctly is one of the 7 deadly sins. Better get over that one soon.

Answer 4

hi there in a word no if thats how you feel youre own feelings are real and if thats how they are then how can that be wrong ,but i can almost bet that he aint as happy as he maywell be putting on a show ,stop and think about this he has moved back to mummy and im sure she is delighted that hes back there ........she will have some control ......how many times over the years together did he have a right good moan and groan about his mother and how she sticks her oar in when ita not needed.........if youre going to say that never happened ,then im truely gob smacked ,of course this has happened all mothers of sons cant help but stick there hand mouth in no one can look after her son the way she has !!!!! does this ring any bells ,god i had this as regular as clock work form my X MOTHER IN LAW ,now there is light at the end of the tunnel for you ,you have youre own space id make a point of starting to be nice to you ,so by long hot baths find a hobby thats just for you andyou will turn things around its going to be a long road but bit by bit youll get there and one of the beat ways to get right up his nose is to start looking after you and the kids when you see him put a smile on youre face and be positive remember you do not have the long suffering mother in law thing any more that always helped me ......good luck with youre future and take care of youre self and yourekids xx

Answer 5

Things may be going good for him now but it's not going to last. If you really stop and think about it, his mother has too much say so in his life and he doesn't see that. Maybe he never will, maybe she will always have control over him. No, your feelings are not wrong, you're hurting and that's ok, really it is. That hurt won't last forever, someday you will heal and move on with your life. You need closure and it will come to you. Just give it time and know that you'll get through this, you will be alright. You're going to be just fine!!

Answer 6

You need an outlet absolutly and remember if he left that means you have to get a makeover start becoming positive and success will follow with men and work and kids. I am glad I don't have a gun I know I would of already used it in my 4 yrs of marriage.also after my first divorce I celebrated by going on a stripper binge for a month till see men naked nolonger mattered? I was a great way to get happy...

Answer 7

its simple one of u must be submissive to lead a good lif u hav kids and they need a father rite?
so it is better that u approach him even now

and also envy them ,envy them even more that envy will make u fear and fear by a problem solves the problem envy till u get wat u want its nothin wrong compared to wat ur mother-in-law has done for u

before makin a decision my advice is "just turn back and hav a look at ur kids before u decide"

first try to bring ur hubby under control slowly u can cut-off ur mother-in-law later if u need
u must make her feel then pain u felt
and she must feel the pain without her son more than u felt without ur husband and thall make her learn a lesson after all she too is a woman u know how womans feel

dont let ur hubby choose another girl cauz its ur hubby and ur lif and ur moral rite sometimes u can take it this way "men always dont feel the difference between love and lust its their nature " nothings wrong in u

u seem more dedicated and it should only be u to hav him so go for him

go for ur lif

reply me by mail or im me for more apt suggestions and let me know more of u,

waitin for a sweet turning in ur lif,

Kazama

Answer 8

go to church-maybe you will find another man, and god answers prayer.