wife says she doesn't love me anymore, is there any chance that she could love me again?

Question

My wife and i have been married for 5 years, we have three sons under the age of 5 together, lately she says she doesn't love me anymore. i have been trying to do as much as possible around the house, help with the kids but she says she is not attacted to me anymore, she feels cold with me. we try to go out by ourselves to spark something by it seems like nothing is working. one day she says everything is fine, and other days she is not happy. she is 32 and i am 37. i have never cheated on her or lied to her. i don't spend time in bars, i am home as much as possible. we have no money problems. we have been to see consulting and i does seem to be getting any where. the biggest problem that has come up was i wasn't helping enough around the house. she also says she went through hard pregnancies. is there a chance she will fall back in love with me? I think this is going to be hard on me and my kids?

also both my wife and i own our own business our kids our in daycare 5 days a week she works as much as i do

Answer 1

Looks like she wants out of the marriage

Answer 2

You've only just begun -- you've had a busy 5 years -- 3 children and all that comes with it is a lot. It is hard to understand all that your wife's body has gone through having 3 chidlren in such a short time. Of the 60 months (5 yrs) you've been married -- her body's been on a hormonal rollercoaster for 27 of those months while pregnant -- and a few more post-partum. That HALF the time you've been married.

Possibly she's conflicted about how she feels about herself -- all day with 3 children -- not stimulating -- exhausting, sometimes fun -- but not the atmosphere that leads to feeling sexy.

Give it time... most important -- do you love her? If you do, show it in every way you can WITHOUT expecting anything in return -- meaning -- just love her enough to be her partner, and her friend.

In a practical sense, make time for the 2 of you to get away as often as possible. Be physically affectionate without being demanding. Have some fun together - let her "shake off" being "mom" so she can let her "sensual woman" resurface. And by all means -- take precautions not to get pregnant again!

Be patient and steadfast and loving.

Answer 3

Three children under the age of five ? She has her hands full alright and must feel she is a constant carer. She fels at this moment this is her life forever more but it is not, children grow fast. You don't mention the bedroom side of life but I imagine that has gone quiet. Carers need restbite is there any way you could engineer a wekend away together to try and rekindle some of the magic of the pre chilren years. She undoubtedly needs you and your support and it seems has it. Is there any hint of post natal depression contributing to the way she feels ......has that avenue been looked into.
It's hard on both of you, but each must look outside themselves and try to understand the others point of view.....I know the words are easy to say but the deed difficult.But it is important for the sake of your children.
Women often feel they have become a drudge when running round after little children, resentment is a passion killer no doubt. She is angry, she needs some time and space on her own aslo.
Can you arange this, an outing one a week or so with girlfriends.
Her mental health is the key I feel, she is negative, she resents, but the whys need to be found be it medical as in post natal issues or other. Lastly listen to her, encourage her to communicate, hear the words, try to get her to do the same for you.
She is lucky to have you and your support and a father for the children, the alternatives for her are not good, with three under five. She feels trapped, many a woman does, and yes if my own experience is anything to go by it passes.
Sorry am going on a bit here.......but the big thing is communication, communication......

Answer 4

Only thing I can think about is trying another councellor. If the biggest problem was that you werent helping enough and now you've fixed that, it's possible she considered it too little too late. As much as I hate to say this the only other thing that I can think of is that maybe she got tired of waiting on what she needed from you and has someone on the side (and I really hope Im wrong there...that aint a fun place to be in...no way no how). You two definitely need to find a therapist that can help you two get things on the right track. If not a thereapist , then a minister at your church (assuming you go to one of course) might be able to help you work things out. Good luck.

Answer 5

Just a thought, is it possible that she could be into Post Par tum that would count for her mood swings. Have you had any blood tests done on her lately? Suggest that you talk to your family doctor and see if there is something that is causing these bad mood swings. Is she hearing things in her head or doing strange things. To stop in future pregnancies I was going to suggest the "V" on yourself, that is if you never wanted anymore children but I see that you are only 37 and still a young man.. Get some kind of birth control so you and her don't have to worry about any more children popping up.. Again, get her in to your family doctor and keep with family counseling, and show her that she is still number 1 person in your life, bar no expense.. I hope this helps you.... Good Luck

Answer 6

3 kids in 5 years is a lot to handle, she must have felt overwhelm, and tired. Especially with hard pregnancies. She needs to feel appreciated, beautiful, attractive. Maybe both of you just got into routine, that could be boring. That's why her emotional needs for excitement and love isn't fulfilled. Perhaps she doesn't even know what she really want, she just feels "uncomplete", the reality of marriage life is not like hollywood movies struck her. She tought changing love would change her life and feel good again. You could still make her fall in love with you. Be romantic, remind her why she loved you before by doing things she likes, hire nanies, travel together somewhere. Understand her and don't give up. Good luck.

Answer 7

Don't you think she's not attracted to you anymore because of the obvious reason? Try to be man enough to handle this crisis. Show her who's the boss. Women sometimes want to feel protected by their man regardless how times has changed over these years. Agree to be separated for a period of time and if she still feels the same way, then I would suggest to start looking out for someone who deserves your attention better. Goodluck!!

Answer 8

Wow , I can't believe no one has answered you yet. I'm not a couples counselor but, I think you should pray about it constantly (to Jesus). And continue to do your duties as a good husband and father. That's all you can do.

God Bless

All things work together for good for those who love the Lord, for those called according to his purpose.

See what else you can do to amend what you might have done wrong

Answer 9

It's going to be hard, but you have to move on. Why would you want to remain in a loveless marriage? Your kids will be better off. Believe me, they are aware of what is going on. I agree with the other person who said that she has probably found someone else.

Answer 10

reverse it. have a female friend call and ask for you and hang up. stay away from home on different nights.
sometimes the treat of being replaced makes um see what they got.
sounds like she has already got someone. a women starts this when they are already cheating from what i have seen.
divorce is hard on everyone......but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
if you really love her ......set her free....
start planning the divorce like you agree......what do you have to loze?