How do I make my husband always want me and not push his hopes so high to end up in bed with him every time?

Question

I want to be the focus of his emotions but I'm afraid that every time I get this attention, he always wants to jump to bed to prove this point. How do I handle this without hurting his feeling and not getting to bed with him:?

Answer 1

I think you're a bit confused on what you want.
You want you husband to want you, but when he does want you you don't want to go to bed with him.
If you want to focus on emotion then you have to leave sex to one side for the time being, but before you start on the make sure YOU know what it is you're actually looking for.

Answer 2

What do you mean by "want you"? Do you mean physically or emotionally? I'm confused with your question. It seems like you have a different definition of the word "want" from your husband. Men express their love or desire differently than women do so don't project your own feelings into your husband's and expect him to think like you. Men don't think like women. If you have something in mind, by all means communicate it with him. He's not a mind reader. Also, it's a given that men love sex and if you truly want your man to want only you, you not only have to be a wife, you have to be a lover to him too. It keeps the marriage interesting.

Answer 3

I assumed you were a woman, until I read your name...Kasanova. Since the original Casanova was a man, it suddenly occured to me that perhaps you're a man as well.

For that reason, I'll try my best to make my response as gender-neutral as possible.

You asked: "How do I make my husband always want me?" This is terrible, because it shows that you don't truly have faith in your husband. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T ALWAYS WANT YOU? It is possible, you know, for a man to want someone around always and you not be aware of it. For example, I love my wife. I always want my wife. She never has to ask if I want her because I told her that I do, and she trusts that.

Now, if your question is truly: How do I make my husband desire me sexually without ACTUALLY wanting to have sex with me, then my response to you is simple...you're crazy. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

You are the manifested epitome of the famous quote by the Madame de Stael: "The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man." Your husband desires you, while you desire your husband's desire.

You even said it yourself: "I want to be the focus of his emotions." Do you hear how selfish that sounds??? A man's emotions run the enitre human spectrum...sometimes I'm FRUSTRATED because of a problem I can't solve at work, sometimes I'm PROUD because my one-year-old son just learned a new word, sometimes I'm ELATED because Reggie Bush started training camp with the New Orleans Saints, sometimes I'm WORRIED because I don't think my wife truly knows how much I love her. I am filled with so many emotions, and YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO WANT TO BE THE FOCUS OF ALL OF THEM???

Sorrry, but it ain't gon' happen.

There's a deeper issue here. You mentioned twice that you don't want to go to "bed with him." It's very possible that you no longer desire your husband sexually. It happens. Or maybe you just don't want to have sex as OFTEN as he does. That happens, too. Or maybe you never liked having sex with him, but you married him because you desired his desire of you. That happens as well. Whatever the situation may be, you have an obligation to tell him all this because you can't truly love a man if you wish to deprive him of the love he could be getting somewhere else.

I truly hope this helps. To be honest...I hope this helps your husband more than it helps you. I feel a sadness for the man who doesn't know that his wife (or lover or Kasanova) does not want to go to bed with him.

Answer 4

Sounds like his way of letting you know that he wants you is by ending up in bed,maybe thats the only way he knows best.Men are not the greatest at picking up on subtle hints so you both need to compromise.

Answer 5

Do things that are special but not sexy: take him to see his favourite team play, take him on hot air balloon ride, go to a pottery class together: anything that's slightly different but that takes place with other people around (and he therefore can't get frisky). Have fun with each other somewhere other than the bedroom.
Having said that, if you have a real problem with sleeping with him then TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.

Answer 6

The problem here is that you are thinking of romance and he is thinking intamacy If you want romance try a late night walk under the stars Tell him that you want to be held and that you are his tonight and every night but there will be !no sex tonight!and that he can should be happy to massage and carress you as you talk If he starts to get to hot just remind him that you are out in public and that you are his not someone he needs to attack at every chance. there will be many nights of passion but in turn a little romance is your key to his happiness.

Answer 7

You mean you want more affection and not just "humping". Men often think that having sex is expressing love. No, it's not. It's just because their testicles are heavy and they need to relieve the pressure! My theory, anyway.
My advice is to tell him. Tell him you want appreciation, hugs, kisses and love. It's the only way you're going to get it and of course, you will be so greatful you will reward him by actually wanting to sleep with the man who loves you!

Answer 8

Heard the saying "Treat him mean to keep him keen".
I think you give in too easy, meet in public, make him wait, get inside each others heads not clothes, educate him, maybe he thinks thats what you want. If you get to know each other better, maybe you wouldn't be asking the question. Talk.!!

Answer 9

You sound like a bit of a tease. If you don't want to end up in bed with him don't try to make him want you.

Answer 10

I don't understand you, you want to be the love of his life and that he always want you , and yet you don't want to sleep with him.
what do you want him to do , write a poetry , draw a picture of you , or kiss you and sleep with another one.
he is your husband and that's his sign that he cares , you must love that in him .
and always remember that what you don't give he can go have it outside!! do you want that to happen ?? I don't think so
so give him the time of his life always.