Need Help! Wife became emotionally unstable as result of pregnancy. Has become rage-o-holic.?

Question

We have a beautiful 16 month old son. My wife constantly finds fault with everything I do (even when I do what she asks), and explodes into cruel, spitting rages. Our son is suffering from this situation. Wife is in total denial. She wants a divorce, then wants revenge, then says she is trying to make it better. How do I get her some help? She will not admit these behaviors to professional, or go to marraige counseling. Thanks for any input.

Answer 1

She is probably suffering from postpartum depression. Many women go through this, but a few of them are prone to the ongoings of it for several months. I was like that with my husband for a few months also. In fact my baby is the same age.

It is not easy on both of you. Her being in denial is the first thing wrong. once she realizes that it may be her hormones making her like this then she will be more apt to get help. She really does need to be able to accept this to fix it.

Try pulling up a few articles on the Internet about PPD (post-partum depression) and see if she matches the description. I had a few other issues before I got it and it just made them worse. I asked my doctor, because I had just started birth control, and she gave me some estrogen, and it helped a ton. it can only be taken for a short amount of time. but it made a difference until the antidepressants kicked in.
The problem may be that she needs to see the difference in herself when she is on the good side of the emotions. tell her that on the days that she is doing better, so that she notices that you appreciate when she is better. try and get her to do something fun or relaxing. like take a bath, or go out with her friends to a concert. this will help her relax a bit more.

let me know if you have any more questions. [e-mail]
good luck. blessed be.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Do either of the Grandparents live close by? If so, ask them to babysit for a week end. Don't tell your wife. Surprise her. Then y'all go rent a cabin near a lake or just in a state park or something. Try to just let her relax. You do the cooking if you can. She needs time away from the baby whether she realizes that or not. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I just wanted to send you a sympathetic note man. I know how it feels and it's really not easy. As I myself am in that situation right now.

Sometimes you feel that you're walking on egg shells, and are just really tense because you don't know when she's going to blow up again. One wrong word, one wrong look and BOOM!

You love a person so much but everyday it gets harder and harder to understand. You don't know the person behind the fire and brimstone anymore.

You can speak to a psychiatrist first before you have your wife checked as he will need to know the details first before he can begin a treatment program, he can weed out whatever rage your wife has, be it emotional baggage from her youth or what not.

The most important thing is to rid her of her rage, left untreated the situation can only get worse.

Be strong.

Answer 5

Having a baby can be difficult for a woman you loose sleep, freedom and yourself and your body changes all of these plus hormones can be affected. Seriously she needs to see her doctor if you think that the cause is medical.... I don't know how you get her to go maybe talk to a family member that she is close to and ask for help.

Answer 6

If what you say is true, you need to see a counselor to cope with these problems. Then you need to see your family doctor on her behalf. It sounds as if she has post partum depression although it's lasted quite awhile. She may be bipolar in which case she needs to see a doctor pronto. If she refuses to get help, then it's up to you to give her an ultimatum--either get help or you will separate from her and get custody of the child.

Answer 7

If you go to church, then try a pastor for counsel b4 going to a real counselor. maybe that will help. My wife is like that too, she chose to leave and i let her, because she's going back to where she came from and i know she will be happy there, at the cost of our marriage.

Answer 8

I went through this myself a long time ago. i video her without her knowing it, and i did it for a long period of time so she couldn't say it was a one time thing. i gave a copy to her friends and family and one to her. i then left our home and told her if she couldn't seenow what i live with, i didn't need her.
it worked. although we are divorced now, we had a 13 yr. marriage.
trust me this is a gamble. would you want it done to you? mention her rage and actions in front of her friends and family. bring it out into the open.
confront her. don't let divorce scare you. if you living this way......it got to get better.

Answer 9

Wow. This is serious. First of all, determine in your heart that divorce is not an option. Second, tape record her. Oh, sure, she'll get mad at that, but it's for her own benefit. When she is in a calm state, let her listen to it, tell her you love her, and don't ridicule her. She has a problem and you want her to see it, not use it as a tool over her.

Also, for you son's sake, you may have to seek a legal and temporary separation where you get custody. For my neighbor, this caused him (he was the "rage-o-holic") to seek counselling himself. He did, he also became a born-again Christian, and I was fortunate enough to see their marriage turn around. But, remember, separation does NOT mean divorced. Do NOT get divorced. This would hurt your son worse than if he witnessed the dysfunction between the two of you because it robs him of the opportunity to see how that sort of dysfunction can be successfully resolved.

Also, purpose in your own heart that when your wife is in one of her tirades that you do not fuel her flame. Remain blameless.

Anyway, bon chance.

Answer 10

TEll her that if she doesn't go for medical help you will divorce her cos you can't stand her anymore.