i am thinking about having an affair?

Question

we have been living together although not married for 10 years we have 2 kids house dog ususl stuff but the romance and sex has gone should i look else where for the sex

Answer 1

affairs are not a good thing.......maybe you should be a man and tell her about your feelings...respect her and your self enough to get out before starting a new relationship......besides do u really wanna hurt the house dog?........

Answer 2

What can you do to improve the situation at home? Having an affair is going to cause some serious grief for everyone involved. Chances are, the same will result with the affair over time. Have you two had a chance to get away from the kids lately? Could you look into an inexpensive getaway an hour or so from home where you could spice things up a little bit? I have been married for 6 years and feel the same way (not about having an affair, but about the excitement being gone), but you really have to look at what you can do to change. You can't change the other person, but often making a change in yourself will spur changes in the other person and in the relationship. Buy her something you think she will look great in (be sure to get the right size, BOZO) and have it wrapped for her. Maybe your partner's body has changed after having the kids and maybe she doesn't feel very confident anymore. You know that there is something there that still does it for you, so try to play that up and focus on that even if the rest is less than ideal. I will think more on this and get back to you. In my opinion, the affair thing is just an easy out and not worth the trouble. Maybe the fantasy of it sounds fun and exciting, but don't you think it would be pretty awkward in real life? Everyone is entitled to their imagination, so use yours. You don't have to tell her what you are imagining, in fact, it might hurt her feelings so don't unless you think it would be something she would like to hear.

Answer 3

If you want to ruin your kids' lives. I personally think it's important to give kids a stable life and that goes away the minute you rush off to have your impulses fulfilled. I'm fairly liberal so this isn't the uptight me trying to convince you it's a sin...this is about logic.

You expect your kids not to run off to the next state or stay out all night and come home in a stupor the next morning, no matter how much they want to right? Well, if you do this and it comes out (because it's hard to keep that stuff secret) you'll be doing the exact thing you have been saying they shouldn't do--doing what you want despite what you need to do. And, no, kids aren't happy if their parents are happy, they are happy when their needs are met and one of those is some stability in life.

My husband and I agreed, and we're really honest with each other, that we're together until our kids are grown. We're faithful until they are grown. Once they are grown, then and only then will we consider being on the outs with each other. It's hard enough to get by in this world without the pain of a broken home or a broken parental relationship.

An affair won't fix what's broken in your life, it will only add to your burden. I hope you think carefully about what you are considering.

Answer 4

Married 23 years, 1 grown up child, no affairs but a very good recent friendship that could have been and still could be.
Past 8 years of problems but still trying.

NO dont do it, keep working on things, once you have an affair you will never get back what you once had with your wife.
You will always think the grass is greener.
Think of the kids, OMG this can get soooooooo messy.
I just wish i can STOP you before you do it.
If it gets so bad then leave, but believe me this is still not a solution.
Do we follow our heart or our head, i will leave you to decide.
(frm a female friend)

Answer 5

Don't cheat. It's bad Karma and it will just make the situation worse. Try and spice up ur sex life. Try givin your lady a massage.
But most importantly talk to her. Tell her you are unsatisfied and that you need to be content in every aspect of your relationship for things to work. Explain to her that this is very important to you.
Give it time and if "in time" is still isn't working, then break it off. You shouldn't be with someone if you are not happy. You could be wasting your time with the wrong person while the right person passes you by.

Answer 6

Obviously a man has his needs.
I understand your point, coz' I'm sort of in the same position as you are.
I don't want to give my man any love or sex, coz' he treats me like ****. Talking about it didn't help, so I had to figure out another way. The grass is not greener on the other side, but it's nice to play the game on a greener field.
Do what you feel is right, and if you decide to have an affair, DO NOT LET HER FIND OUT. She WILL take your kids away from you. Play it safe and don't get too involved with who ever you choose to be your fling!

Answer 7

Bad idea. Why don't you try and work on the current situation so the kids don't have to grow up in 2 separate households? Having an affair will do NOTHING to improve this situation and has the power to ruin whatever is good in this situation. It's not just about you and your needs, it is about the kids and the dog too. Don't be selfish.

Answer 8

NO.
If you really love the person no.

Spice up your sex life.

Get into something together. Find new activities in which it will enlighten the relationship and turn you both on.

Go to an adult store, buy a kama sutra book, get oils and give each other massages.


Take Salsa lessons, or dance lessons. They're both hot, sensual, and a turn on.

Answer 9

Depends on how much you love your mate and children. Is an affair worth loosing that? I would try and fix the relationship and if it is beyond repair why not end it before it goes that far? It will be easier to get over you just not loving them than finding out you had an affair.

Answer 10

Even if you have not been married you have made a commitment to your partner. The repercussions of an affair could be devastating to your children and partner. You would not come out of it well either, you could lose your home and still be liable to support your family.

You need to talk to your partner and tell them how you feel. Things cannot improve if you do not communicate.

Answer 11

Try to be honest with her before you step outside your relationship. Because once your heart lies outside your relationship it will be tough to bring it back. There are many ways you can spice up your sexual life unless you dont love her anymore then you should let her know s each one has the right to make a decision and move on accordingly.
Remember honesty is the best policy.