My spouse and I have been together for 8 months and she contently tells me that I don't listen to her nor respect her because I ignore her, interrupt her while she is talking, walk away from her while she is talking, etc. It has been extremely hard to listen and prevent the other issues that she is having with me. I find myself angry or defensive every time there is a discussion/dispute between her and I. Afterwards, I'm either drained, hurt, confused, or frustrated.
2006-08-07 19:51:34 · 2 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You guys need to find an activity to do together everyday(ie. walking, working out, cooking, etc) Something that you both can enjoy, but also spend quality getting to understand each other. Sometimes just getting out of the ehouse helps communicaion so much better, when you are out in the world, you realize how important you are to each other.
Good Luck Brah, seems like this is going to take some sacrifices on both sides!!
2006-08-07 19:58:50 · answer #1 · answered by O Jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I have learned for a good tool for listening. Repeat it back to her. I have the same horrible habit of interrupting. It's only because you forget what you want to say in rebuttal that you interrupt. If you take turns and she says a statement. Then allows you to respond, it works better. It takes patience and time to learn these tools. You have to find a time when you both are not angry to have the discussions of behavior issues, if that is what they are about. I get the same way with my guy that you get with your gal. You have to find a happy medium that works for both of you. I am having some very emotional issues going on with my family and am taking it out on him and I think he should be aware of my condition and just let me vent. He on the other hand takes it personally and sometimes I don't blame him, cause I can be mean. I have also learned a new brain trick. Now this really works so I hope you read my whole message to you. When the brain is emotional the logical part on the other side needs to kick in...so your not sooo emotional. Either snap your fingers one then the other in a 1-2 second timing or tap your thigh with your fingers in the same fashion. Do your feet or whatever won't look obvious to her when you are doing it. The brain needs to think logically in order to perform this function and therefore has balanced the emotional side. Try it before you get too upset though. Experiment as you see it working. Let me know ...good luck
2006-08-08 03:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋