Does anyone still miss their first love? I still think of mine every day... I think I am probably the only?

Question

one who does that!
I am a grown woman, married 15 years and have two kids. But I still think about my HS Sweetheart and miss him so much.

I hate it!!

Answer 1

As you know from the other posts, you are not the only one.

It has been 15 years since me and my first love parted ways. We didnt part on bad terms. It wasn't our choice, matter of fact. (long story)

I have thought about her ever since. I wonder if she has thought about me the same. Heck, just the other day I had a dream with her in it. Actually, I dream about her quite a bit. The dreams aren't sexual, painful, etc....The dreams are always just random situations where her and I are doing random, normal things that couples do and we are just together.

She was an absolutely wonderful girl, and we had the greatest relationship. She taught me so much about love, care, life, the beauty of people, how wonderful a girl could be, what I wanted in a partner and, most importantly, my weaknesses in such a positive way. Seriously, she was such a wonderful influence on my life, I can't imagine my life without her.

I would love the chance to sit down with her and talk about life. I would love to be able to look her in the eye and tell her how much she has meant and means to me; how proud I am of her for her success in life; and how glad I am that I had the opportunity to share so many firsts with her, including true love. I would also like to share with her that she set the bar so very high for all future, potential relationships.

I would love to know if she still thinks about me. However, I don't know if I could accept it if I didn't mean anything to her, but I doubt that is the case. We loved each other so pure and so true and were each others first everything.

Now, having said all that, I don't long to have her back. It's not like that. Sure, if I met up with her and things were like they were way back when then that would be heaven, but that is not my motivation for keeping her in my heart and my mind. I would just love the chance to catch up with her as an adult.

Neither one of us are married...so dont go thinking I am trying to steal a dudes wife or cheating on my own. Furthermore, anyone that says anything negative about your thoughts, since you are married, are out of line. Now, if you acted on it...that would be different, but just thinking about a first love is completely normal, no need to share it with a husband or wife...I mean, what good would that do, right? I think it is only natural.

Answer 2

A long time ago (10+ years) a really cool guy broke my heart. I thought he was the greatest person on the planet, and we had lots of fun together. We had lots of common interests and we laughed and joked a lot. The circumstances surrounding the way we ended up dating were silly and immature, but I still really did care a lot for the guy. So much, in fact, that I just couldn't seem to get him out of my head, Logically, I knew that it was ridiculous to think that a relationship between the two of us would have lasted even one day, but sometimes I would catch myself wondering "What if?" I found myself wondering what he was up to and and if we would ever be friends again. Over time we would run into each other and chit chat, and over the past year or so we have finally been e-mailing and chatting online. This is not some kind of affair or anything, after all my husband knows all about it (we all worked at the same place in high school), but I do enjoy talking with him. He still makes me laugh, we still do have some common interests, and we have gone out mountain biking with some friends as of late. He is the same goof-off as he always was, and we still kid around with each other, but when it comes down to it, I think it was his friendship that I missed the most. People are so impressionable in high school, and this friend just happened to be around when I needed a friend the most and I have always appreciated that. We aren't real great friends right now, but appropriately friendly and I don't wonder anymore "What if?" There's no reason to. The friendship that I missed is back and I think that is all I really wanted and missed. As I recall, he was a lousy kisser anyway :) LOL I hope to be sitting around on a porch somewhere when I get old and wrinkly telling the same old stupid stories and jokes as always with him. I guess what I am asking is Are you really in love with the person, or do you just miss that person's personality and company? Would it be totally out of the question to casually contact this person? I guess what I am saying is that if my friend and I can be friends 10 years after not talking to each other, then no I Love Yous needed to be exchanged. We are still friends and that just means two good, decent people care for each other. It's a good thing.

Answer 3

You're not alone....as a matter of fact you and I have a lot in common. I have been married 15 years, have 2 kids and think of my love as well. Don't hate yourself for it....just accept it and enjoy the trip down memory lane from time to time. I don't see it as being a problem unless it starts hurting your marriage. I feel the reason it's so appealing is because it's pure fantasy....when you visit that world from long ago there is no mortgage to pay, shopping to do, hungry kids to feed....like I said....it can be a nice vacation. But remember, all of those little day to day things are part of the amazing life you and your husband share...they are what gives you your good times and bad. Don't try to repress the past....it all comes together to make you who you are today. But don't live in it either. Just enjoy the here and now. The moment you are in at this very second....and embrace evry little wonderful thing that brought you to this point. Take care and I hope you have a lovely evening!

Answer 4

Middle aged man here-so you're not alone in this. Think of an secretly miss my first love every day for the last thirty something years. Know I'm not suppose to. I have a family who I do love. Yet, there's something magnetic and bonding about that first one that creeps into your heart. I know that my desire and love for her never left as I think of her all of the time. She had that special quality. That quiet class and beauty. So the answer is YES, I miss and think of her-until the day I die for sure.

Answer 5

Throughout life you will think about him off and on - especially if the magic is gone from your marriage. If this is the case, you need to determine if your husband is willing to try to work on getting the magic back. If he is, go to Amazon.com and buy the book "101 Nights of Grrreat Romance: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples (Paperback)" It is a great book to re-ignite the romantic spark in relationships. You can also buy this book at Barnes and Nobles, Borders Books and other large book chains.

If you are divorced or widowed, go to http://www.classmates.com and see if he is registered with them. Search your high school and the years you attended to see if you can find him. If you do, you can send him a message on that site.

All the best to you!

Answer 6

My dear, don't hate it. Learn to accept it as it is normal to keep your first love in your heart. I am way older than you and I still pine for my first love, which is more years than I want to remember. But it is a memory and if you were to find him today you will realize that he was just that, a first love. Nothing more or less. You have the life you have and you love it, or you don't love it.

Just remember your first love as a glorious time of learning, experiencing love and life. He actually prepared you for this time in your life. Remember it with Kindness and care but don't wain it as it would never have been the way your thoughts are telling you how it would be.

I believe many people always love their first loves deep down in their hearts. You are not alone.

Good luck

Answer 7

Yes, never forgot my high school boyfriend (first love). Always thought of him and I am 46. Been married all my life and have two grown kids. I wanted to call him and just talk.I missed him. I let things be. He lived only 4 miles away. But never saw him since high school.Then last month I found out he died of a heart attack and now it to late to talk to him.So if I was you and you know he wants to just be friends. Talk to him at least once more. Wish I had! now it to late. It is normal to think of your first love. They will always be in you heart!

Answer 8

your not the only one i have been in a relaitonship for 3 years with my boyfriend and my x crosses my mind from time to time like more than twice a day.. it happens he was your first love and they say which i believe you never get over your first love.. no matter how hard i try my mind still wonders back to when me and my first love were together and all the times we spent hugging and just talking about are future together.. and i still see him from time to time we don't talk because we have both moved on but when i do see him all i want to do is cry.. and sometimes i wonder what went wrong in are relationship.. dont worry it happens all the time

Answer 9

Caligirl,
It looks like you have alot to choose from. I've been married for over 12 years now and I think about my first three loves every day just like you. It's hard to think about the would of, should of and could haves, but you have to think about, why are you with the one you have right now. Do you think you'll ever have the chance to get back with your first love? Perhaps he doesn't think of you. Sounds like something for Maury Povich or Ricky Lake.

Answer 10

you're not the only one. I was so obsessed with mine for years. We have stayed friends and kept in touch for 14 years now. He is married with a child and I was in a marriage and have 3 kids too. You're not the only one, trust me.
Like the song says, the first cut is the deepest.