Anybody know any decent wife-training schools?

Question

Where I can send my wife to learn how to be a proper wife, like bringing cold beers to the living room, learning to shut the hell up while I watch sports, how to give good blowjobs, etc etc. Stuff that all wifes should know.

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I would recommend this site http://www.frontsight.com/ so that when you act pigheaded again she can remind you that she shoots better than you do.

Answer 2

You are already the perfect trainer! How about telling her what you really want? But there is a better way to say it. Don't say, "Get me a beer." Say, "Honey, I'd appreciate it if you could bring me a beer." Then WHEN she brings it to you smile and say "thank you!" When you are watching sports calmly turn to her and say, "Honey, I've got to be honest with you. I really want to watch this game and I just can't focus on you. The game ends at (whatever time)? Can we talk then? Not giving you blow jobs is she. News flash pal, we're not born knowing how to give them. Say, "I want to teach you to make me orgasm like a rocket!" Then show her what you want, tell her what feels good. Most women don't give blowjobs because they don't know HOW. Confidence in her abilities will have pleasant side effects. If she is squeemish, find out what her issue is. For me, it's my jaw. It's tiny and it aches after a while. A girlfriend confessed she went from hand to mouth with her husband and I was stunned. I had no idea it could be done that way.

Though it may not work, I don't have all the answers. I cook, I clean, I never say no to sex, I learn new tricks under the sheets, I never nag...and, I am truly a knock out. I make my husband look good...but he isn't satified. He wants more...other women mostly...just remember the grass is always SEEMS greener on the other side.

Answer 3

Boy did your mother raise a winner! You should be so lucky that you don't educate your wife anymore than she is. She might develop some brains and leave your pathetic butt behind! If you need further assistance try puting a cooler near the recliner for your cold beer, give her money to go shopping when you are watching TV, so you won't hear her, and for your blowjobs....a dog and some peanut butter should do the trick!

Answer 4

I grew up in an particularly small city and intense college replaced into were each of the pastime replaced into except for paying for lower than the impression of alcohol and making out. I even did a number of that at school. LOL that's confusing to believe I survived intense college and that i replaced into an "A" pupil. college is were ladies were and were I performed football so I had a blast. It did not harm that with the help of the time i began intense college my Dad had end eating (He replaced into between the worst alcoholics I actually have ever considered) . mom replaced into nonetheless a discomfort yet Dad and that i grew to change into suited acquaintances, So i wager my view of my intense college years is slightly biased. the faculty Dances were huge activities in a small city that had one action picture theater with merely one reveal screen, no quickly nutrition eating places and no branch shops. We did not get Rock stay shows coming interior one hundred fifty miles so i did not see my first stay live performance till I went away to school except you count number community bands playing on the Dances.

Answer 5

I heard that they closed all the wife schools down in favor of opening a school for us to send all of our husbands to teach the how to bow down and kiss our butts if they ever want any sex from us again.

Answer 6

WoW...............you really need to find a hobbieLOLOLOLOL.......or have someone be your fiend, I know you could get a pet rock,,,, that would be great since your, like, a big piece of shiit that someone stepped in and is trying to get rid of...... yea that's it, a rock would be the best friend a piece of shiit like you could get ............ or at least come up with a question or two that sounds like you spent an hour or two in class not snoring

Answer 7

I think you should look for a training school for yourself and show your wife a little more respect!

Answer 8

This is not the 1950's - You must be stuck in a time warp!

Answer 9

You need a dog, not a wife.

Answer 10

You need to be put down like a dog for your stupidity.