50/50 custody? Never married,anyone gone through this?please read?

Question

When my son was an infant we had a dna test done,his dad wouldnt sign papers claiming paternity.We had to go to the child support office where they figured out what i would get being the custody was 50/50...anyway, a woman there said that we had to do custody 50/50 and to make our own schedule or they would make one for us...that was it, all that was said....? Is this how it usually goes?No judge,or court date.?Nothing in writing,and we didnt sign anything agreeing to anything. I read some where that when you make up a placement schedule that it has to be approved and signed by a judge. This did not happen, I dont even know if the woman wrote down the schedule we made up..? How is this legal? We live in the state of Wisconsin....please tell your story and give any info you have,every state has there own laws with child custody.I want to take my son to tx in feb. his dad agreed at first,now changed his mind..

I jsut decided to collect child support from him for the 1st time in 4yrs,so he's mad,can i just take him?He doesnt even have proof that he has a son....no birth certificate,no social security card,has nothing that even shows he has a son and definately nothing that shows proof that he has any kind of custody of him....it's important for him to have copies of those things but it's not my job to get them for him,he knows where to get them from.

Yeah,if i could afford a lawyer i would do that....dont answer if you have no experience in this, i know there are plenty of single moms out there who have gone through this.

His fathers not that smart...at all really....he wouldnt take him out of state..

sorry for all the writing people....the child support office doesnt give me an answer EVER...they tell me that if i'm having custody issues to contact a lawyer...they're very rude and no other county courthouse will talk to me because i have it filed in a different county...

Fathers name is not on the birth certificate, he didnt sign the papers claiming paternity,so he would have to pay $150 to get it re-done...but he doesnt know that...so i dont tell him.Not finding anything online about how 50/50 custody is done and what the courts actually do...again there was nothing done "in court".

we werent married and NO are not on speaking terms

Answer 1

Something sounds fishy. You want child support, but you want to move away from dad. You should instead insist on your child spending time with your co-parent. I am sure you want what is in the best interest of your child and as you can imagine it takes 2 to balance out your child's life. If you do move your ex- can file a motion to have you moved back to your state and / or county. If you refuse this order it would be the same as kidnapping. I would count on living where you are until your son or daughter is raised.

Answer 2

First off, the law will probably be about 90% on your side. If he's definitely the father, he's digging himself a deep hole by fighting paternity and child support. As a parent he can't deny his kid a right to vacation. If you're moving to Texas, the case will still belong in Wisconsin courts, however.

I only know Texas law cause that's where my divorce is from. Altho some parents share custody 50-50 in practice, legally there is no such thing as true 50-50 here. One parent is legally the "possessory custodian"--that is, the one who has the right to decide where the kid lives. I would be very surprised if Wisconsin is different about this, as all courts have to deal with parents who just can't get along.

Everyone above who says get a lawyer is dead on right. Get one and don't be afraid to fight like hell. The people reluctant to fight are invariably the ones who get trampled on in these cases.

But still, also keep open to a mediation. Just make sure it is a BINDING mediation. My experience is that the other party won't abide by a handshake deal if they ever start to feel screwed. My experience is a bad one as I have had to go to count three times in the last four years to get my ex to pay support for her daughter.

It's not fun, you might "feel like a jerk" for dragging to court someone you used to call a life partner. But that's not the point. The point is that your child is entitled by law to get support from his/her father. You ex may cop an attitude like "why are you doing this to me?" But you're not the one doing it. The law will state specifically how much he is legally obliged to support his kid. It's not you, it's the law.

If you accept less than what your child is due, you're cheating your child.

I will also say that about 10 years ago I was on the other side of the case--I had fallen into arrears on my child support (this was before my daughter moved in with me full time). When my ex took me to court, I was resentful at first. But it was really the best thing she could have done.

I had to face up to the fact that, even if I was a "good dad" in terms of regular visits and quality time,I was still being a financial deadbeat. It was a wake up call that I had to atone for my mistakes. It made me a better father and a better person for realizing that I should not skirt on my parental responsibilities.

Remember, the conflict is not between you and your ex. It's between your ex's desire to keep his money and the law of the state of Wisconsin that says he has an obligation to support his child.

Don't be afraid to kick ***, sister!!

Answer 3

It sounds like you represented yourselves in court. Either that or you had paralegal help. Either way you are left "on your own" and it is very confusing. I did go through it. For a little more money (not sure how much) you can pay a paralegal to write up a proposed court order to bring in front of a judge, specifying days and times for custody. Having a court order signed by the judge is a sure way to get the custody upheld in court.

If the two of you are on speaking terms and get along well enough, you can discuss splitting the fee for the paralegal help and having someone help you get the proper forms and filing help to get a specific schedule in your court file. That way if the other party violates or complains, it can be defended as a court order.

Most of the time, a court order that is approved by a judge was not written by the judge himself, but by one or both of the parties involved. The judges won't be bothered with trying to figure out details like your visitation schedule. You get help writing it up, then take it in front of the judge. A Paralegal service should really be able to help wwith much less cost than a attorney. I hope this helps!

From what I have seen of 50/50 custody, that only obviously works if you live relatively close to each other. You take him for M,W,F and Su, He takes him for T, Th, Sa and M and so on or.
You have him 8:00am M,T,W and Thurs until 4:00pm, then he has him from Thurs at 4:00pm until M at 8:00am. This works well for school age children, when parents both live close by.

Answer 4

I live in the State of Illinois, and custody issues may vary depending on the state you live in. I would go online and look up the custody laws in your state. Where I live if the father is known, it doesnt matter if he wants to claim responsibility or not, he is still responsibile for supporting the child. He also would not automatically gain 50% of anything. You are the custodial parent that gives the child the primary care? Then you would have primary custody, or should. Is the father's name on the birth certificate? if it is then he claims responsibility as the child's father also. Is he paying child support? Child support in my state varies based on the number of children, for example, if you and the father have 2 children, the statutory rate is 28% of the father's NET pay for child support per month. I would strongly recommend that you talk to a family practice lawyer as soon as possible. You have to protect yourself.

I found some resources on the internet that apply to your state. The last one sites specific laws with regard to custody and support. Still you might want to check around and see if there is a law office that would see you initially on a free consultation, and give you some idea as to what you and your child's rights are.

Answer 5

You'll need to contact the family court division in your state. Also fight for 100% custody is the only legal way you can take your son anywhere without backlash from the father, if you do he can file kidknapping charges etc.

You say there's nothing in writing it doesn't sound right, your word against his, you say your collecting child support, do you want to continue collecting child support? If so and you take your son to TX, and you have 50/50 custody you could get into big trouble.

Seriously seek someone out who deals with family law and find out what your options are before making a move.

Answer 6

i was married and got divorced and my ex and i did the fifty fifty custody. They did not make us a schedule. We had a court hearing though because of the divorce mainly. We agreed on the fifty fifty custody. in the divorce papers it states we are to each have them half the time and that we are to decide amongst ourselves when but on holidays we are each suppose to have the kids half a day. it doesn't work out that way cause my ex is a pig and wants the kids every holiday and the kids seem to agree and want to go with him to his dad's or whatever the big event is at the time. I never have a big event of course i work odd hours too so that doesn't help. sorry went off on a tangent. So anyway a lot of states are going in that direction with the joint custody these days.

Answer 7

i am a single parent. i live in la. i have had my son's father say that he is going to take my son from me. i called an attorney and he told me that since i am not married i can walk out the door, out the parish, and state with my son and he can't do a thing about it. check with an attorney. i went through the social services in la. and it was a nightmare. i had to get a dna, tell them my sexual history, and they made me feel like i was a whore. i didn' t have a set schedule or receive child support from my son's father. my advice for you is talk to an attorney and get the facts and show him that your strong and always be there for your son. NO Matter What!!!!

Answer 8

Have you requested family to support you with the money to rent a legal professional? How approximately peers? Check with Human Services and spot in the event that they present a few cheap lawyers offerings. Other than creating a public attraction for support with a view to embarrass your youngsters I do not know what else you'll do. Are you capable to take out a small mortgage? Okay I simply re-learn your submit. Are you and the "father" 2 females? You maintain bouncing round among the gamers. You state your youngsters have not noticeable their father then you definately state she is consistently gambling video games in courtroom. Very complicated.

Answer 9

You have no written legal guidelines. Therefore, you cant be charged with any crimes by taking your son out of state. Whats scary is that the father could do the same. Sweetie, Id get some legal aid. MY ex and I fight over things like this ALL the time and we do have papers.

Answer 10

The court doesn't have to write down your schedule unless it's contested and a judge makes a ruling.