My eleven year old daughter has trouble going to sleep at night.?

Question

We have tried many natural methods from the health food store but nothing seems to work. With school approaching, I want her to get to bed on time and get a good night's sleep. We've tried white noise (fan, static, etc), music, movie without sound, foods that have drowsiness quality. Nothing will work. Anyone have any suggestions?

Answer 1

My 12-1/2 year old has been having the same problem. I found some solutions online of the typical stuff....going to sleep and waking up at exactly the same time ALWAYS even on weekends, no caffiene like 4-5 hours before going to bed, making a bedtime routine so your body knows it's time to slow down and go to sleep (drinking tea and reading a bedtime story), etc, etc.

They definitely say nothing with bright lights (movies, lights, etc) in the middle of the night, it messes up your "clock."

Also something I read said that people need different amounts of sleep and if you're someone who just needs 4 hours of sleep, not to fight it, just go with it. They suggest having the person go to bed and wake when they want for a few days and record how many hours they sleep on average. If it turns out to be, lets say, 7 hours then figure out when they need to go to bed to get up on time. If they have to get up at 7, they go to bed at midnight and don't worry that midnight doesn't seem right for an 11-year-old. That is just an example of course, but they were trying to stress not to be so concerned about the actual bedtime, but the amount of hours of sleep they are getting.

I haven't found anything that works yet but my daughter is starting school in a week and experience has shown me that once they start school they are so busy with their day, they have no problem sleeping!! :) Good luck, I know it's driving us crazy.

Answer 2

Ok here we go. Given your situation, it's not abnormal that an 11-year-old wants to sleep with her parents or is afraid of the dark. I mean, yes it's child stuff, but at the same time people mature at different ages. Some people start masturbating at age 10 or continue to piss their pants at age 15. It's different for everyone. So, it is unlikely that this is related. It would have to be related in a very cryptic way, which I don't think so. Now for the rest of the symptoms. The sleepover thing maybe is related in the sense that she is not confident enough with changing in public or sleeping beside someone else, someone that she doesn't fully trust. Which again is related to the gym class situation. About the drawings. A person, a kid, can imagine many things. This imaginative things, however, are all based on real life experiences or on other things previously imagined or seen. This means that your daughter may have seen or experienced the drawings earlier in her life, not exactly like she drew them, as that's the part where we imagine, but in some relation. If she was sexually abused, this drawings could indicate that she was most likely tied or unable to move, and was strip naked when it happened. The larger figures indicate that this was done by someone she considers bigger and more powerful than her, either a bully or a teacher. Now, this is if she was sexually abused. Kids now a days have access to the internet, and no matter if you control the use of internet in your home, the kids can still access it at school or other places. Maybe your daughter saw a movie, or her classmates told her about this things. There are tons of places where she could have gotten this ideas in her head, so do not panic just yet. Now, talk to her. And do so during a day off school, like Saturday. Do it when she isn't tired or about to sleep, but rather in an opportunity when you are both alone and sitting in the living room. Bring up the drawings and ask her why did she drew them. If she is unresponsive or doesn't want to talk about it, or she becomes angry that you found out about them, she probably experienced something that disturbed her into this state of mind. Still, doesn't mean sexually abused, but it could point to someone else hurting her or showing her inappropriate things. If this is the case, and in any case really, talk to a psychologist. They are the best people to help your daughter right now. Good luck :D

Answer 3

Eleven might be too young to put her on sleeping medication, but you should talk to her doctor if her sleeping is really a big issue. If you want to try something else, you should have her wake up and go to sleep at the same time every day. Make sure during the day she involves in some physical activity, maybe working out for a half hour each day. Cut down on all forms of caffeine (chocolate, sodas, etc.). About an hour before bed have her take a bath or read, something to calm her down.

Answer 4

Ask her if she is affraid of something.... ask her if there is any thing on her mind that she needs to talk about.... if she needs a night light then get her that.... do something relaxing b4 bed, have her take a hot bath read her a bed time story.... have her drink a hot cup of tea.... rub her back..... have the lighting set dim and make sure there is no sound coming from out in the hall or down stairs or in the living room.... she may need a more comfortable mattress..... make sure the room is not to cold or too hot.... ask her if she wants to sleep with a small animal.... tell her little stories of her child hood that she may not remember.... I hope some of this helps I have a little sis that can't get to sleep at night and we do some of these things... oh and have her go to the bath room too... and if all else fails take her to the doc and see what they say.... good luck... hugs

Answer 5

I was always like that as a child. I remember being 13 and my family would be asleep, I was still awake. I am 44 now and I still sit here awake. even if I get up EARLIER than normal. Even as a kid I could stay up all day, all night, well into the evening hours, then go again on very little sleep. My doctor says it is normal. The same as some people have to have 9 or more hours of sleep each night to function. It is okay as long as her grades do not suffer, and she is alert.

Answer 6

Well first of all i feel bad for your daughter, i suffer from periods of insomnia that are usually triggered by anxieties or worried or excessive thinking. I was also diagnosed with a mild case of ADD and because of that i had a hard time falling asleep. It is much easier now that i am 22. What you can try is help her calm down before bed laying down listening to soothing sounds and what not. You may also want to try these sleep and relaxation aromatherapy line from bath and body works... it is lavender and vanilla. There is pillow mists, lotion, shower gels and oils, and you can have her shower with the shower gels or bath in the oils and rubber her down with the lotion, and maybe it is all a placebo effect but it has helped every one that i have suggested it to. Now maybe this is the psychologist in me talking (I have my masters in counseling psychology and working on a phd) but maybe there is something on her mind that she feels burdened by and that she needs to get out into the open but doesn't know how. Children although young and not to aware of their surroundings like some adults do tend to have very serious things on their minds. So maybe you can talk to her about something like that.

This is kinda far-fetched and unnecessary but you may try behavioral conditioning. The most common treatment i have seen is, not letting the person lay, sit, eat, play or do anything on the bed except sleep. That way when she gets sleepy she goes to bed and she will sleep there. It really helps, i went through that when i was freshman in college. I needed to get plenty of rest cause it was my first year and that is what was suggest to me, and now all i do is sleep on my bed, and any time i get on my bed i tend to fall asleep.

I hope this works for you and your daughter if not i suggest just talking to a family physician.

Answer 7

maybe, get into the habbit of her getting up a little earliar, playing outside more with friend, to use up her energy, and then before bed, sit down, have family time, or mother daughter time, and watch a movie before it's time for her to go to sleep, then when it is her bed time, then make sure her room is comfortable and i know shes not a little kid any more, but keep a light on, just because it's something that if you look at it it will make your eyes tired. and keep some music or something relaxing on like the white noise thing u metioned.

Answer 8

well i know if i cant sleep i do some push ups or something to tire me out a good excises 3 hours before bed then to the showers helps to because u work out to much and get tired and sleepy and the shower is like the wake up call but once your body gets warm the body gets sleep already and its good for you too

Answer 9

Try cutting out caffine before noon. If she wants to have a soda get caffine free ones for afternoon. They taste just the same. Limit chocolate intake too as that also contains caffine. Go to www.ask.com and enter the question "Foods that contain caffine" and it will give you lots of websites to research this further.

Answer 10

in my area of the U.S. there are behavior specialists who can help train a person to fall asleep. Mine is a psychologist at a behavior health office. She may need a sleep study done. Discuss this with her doctor.