We don't have a sexual relationship but that doesn't bother me but there is no love shown in other ways. Example no hugs no kisses you get the idea. No I love you except when I say Love you He responnds love you too! I am heart broken and can't leave at this stage of my life
2006-08-07 17:24:54 · 24 answers · asked by Mrsdonmar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HE IS THE ONE WHO LOST THE SEXUAL PART HAVE TRIED I TO MAKE MYSELF MORE ALLURING bUT THERE JUST ISN'T ANY HUGS. KISSES OR ANY THING. I JUST FEEL LIKE A SISTER!
2006-08-07 17:45:35 · update #1
This is a very difficult question to answer. You and he have invested 39 years of your lives together. You have 39 years of history together. But to be in a loveless marriage...that takes an enormous toll on a person. In my opinion it is lonelier being with someone in these circumstances, than being alone with yourself.
I am assuming you have expressed how unhappy you are to him.
If, as you say, you "can't leave at this stage of my life" then you have to endure it. Perhaps your situation would be more tolerable if you developed some outside interests----took a class, join a club, find some new friends whose company you enjoy. Do something that fills your cup for your own sake. I feel for you.
Maybe if you develop some interests, activities that you enjoy independent of him, you will feel stronger and realize that you deserve better than this and have the courage to divorce him.
2006-08-07 17:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line is that you said you can't leave at this stage in your life. You are there, so what happened that you don't care about having a sexual relationship but you want affection? I would have to say most men relate a sexual relationship with love if you're married. If you have become uninterested in sex and it has been going on for a long time, he has become uninterested. You are going to have find out why you don't mind not having sex, but do mind not having him show love. Sex is a show of love and will almost guarantee a couple feeling closer.
2006-08-07 17:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to break the ice and hug him and kiss him. I'm sure he will be glad.People can build huge barriers between them through the years and they are hard to break down. Don't assume he doesn't love you. Also not having a sexual relationship makes you no different than a friend. I think you need to risk working on the sexual part of your relationship. Try to make him feel special and I bet he will eventually do the same.
2006-08-07 17:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by weswe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you CAN move on at any stage in your life... It's YOUR life! I would suggest that you sit him down and the two of you talk about this HONESTLY...... See what he says first.... Maybe he feels the same way but isn't saying anything.... People handle stress in different ways...
Both of you need to start being diliberate in showing affection in all ways each day.... Just start giving the kisses and hugs and tell him you need him to do the same for you whenever he feels the notion!! Appreciate eachothers affections!!
It may just be that you don't need to leave at all!
Let's get HONEST together! You are PARTNERS..... remind him of that.... You are supposed to be eachothers help mates as well....
2006-08-07 17:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by ~Me~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then try to act more loving to him. Start by saying nice things, go out of your way to do something nice for him, begin touching him again, and eventually get back into a sexual relationship again. You might have to start slow, but if you begin to do the actions, the feelings should follow. Good luck, I admire your tenacity and that you don't want to give up. Have patience and good luck!!!
2006-08-07 17:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by The Nag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think @ some point they become comfortable with US like friends. They forget that we (women) need more than words. There is alot to be said for HUMAN TOUCH. If you have been married for that long....there has to be something there. If he hasn't said that he does not love you, it really could be that he feels you are comfortable with the way things are. If you love him, go ahead and spit it out........talk to him. You may not hear what you want but, you just might find out that he Misses you too. Gentle winds from TX. to your heart, good luck!!
2006-08-07 18:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by taken for a ride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about how you feel. Wear sexy clothes and heat up the romance. Slip him some viagra..j/k seriously, take interest in the things he likes and be affectionate to him. Put the desire for you back in him. If he doesn't hug you then you hug him or kiss him. I wish you the best
2006-08-07 17:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by nativeamericantay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I wouldn't waste another 39 seconds let alone 39 more years with this one. I'd find a way to leave.
2006-08-07 17:28:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about it. see if there is anything u guys can do. see if he is cheating on u. and maybe couples therapy or counseling. try starting a sexual relationship again cuz then that could bring u guys back to when u were younger and in more love then now i guess. good luck!
2006-08-07 17:30:29 · answer #9 · answered by sara ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mum found a new man in her fifties so can you...seriously you can talk to him get counseling but it takes 2 to make a marriage work and a loveless, sexless marriages may not be what you want than why stay life is still happening....
2006-08-07 17:29:23 · answer #10 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋