my mother and father have been married for many years and i have been dating this man for a few years...?

Question

THIS IS LONG: just a few weeks ago i found that mother has a new lover. he is a lover from her past that she is just getting back together with now. and we have just found out that many years ago they had a baby together and they gave him up. he came to town a few years ago looking for his real parents. but thats not it. we just found out that the man i have been dating is their son from many years ago they gave up. i love him but he is my half brother and now i am disgusted. and now my life is ruined. and just today i found out i may be pregnant. how can i bring a child into this world through sin? what should i do. and now i hate my mother and won't speak to her. ****** whore.

Answer 1

Well you need come here................
yeah, come here............................
....................closer
...................a little closer...

BAM I just hit you in the head with the "where do you get off" hammer.

Now why do you think you have the right to hate your mother and call her names you wouldn't have called her say last month?

She is having a hard enough time dealing with this crazy situation and might need a little support as do you. Sure she made some mistakes when she was young but doesn't it sound familiar. The fruit doesn't fall far from the tree now does it?

Perhaps if you put your heads together and your hearts in one basket you'll be able to sort through this drama that has now become your lives.

And about this "may be pregnant" if your not sure why are you causing yourself so much pain and unnecessary distress? Don't you think it would be better if you were "sure" before you go off -- like major?

Why are you so disgusted? You must have been in love with this man before you knew he was your half-brother because you were doing the wild thing and if I'm not wrong, you wouldn't have done that with just anybody!

And about this "sin" although you were doing that before you knew about all of this you might still be in the same boat your in now even if you didnt know about his being "related" to you. Would you have felt the same way about the world and bring a child into by "sin" without the drama being added? What about that one?

He is still the man that you wanted to be with and it's not his fault either that he was given up as a baby. He didn't ask to be that "love child" nor will the baby (if there is one) that you might be carrying.

And what about your Dad? Don't you think that he is completely torn up about this? Does he even know and who is gonna be there to tend to his wounds when this drama unfolds?

Although you have a great deal of issues to deal with remember that the situation must be contained and you can't let it get the best of ALL OF YOU.

Sounds like some tough decisions are gonna have to be made for everyone and nobody's life is ever going to be the same. How old are you anyway are you even old enough to be buffing the jewels of the world? Haven't you ever heard of contraception? It's a great word you ought to live it!

Perhaps if you were able to remove yourself from the situation and sit in the corner to see just what it is that is going on you could help those who you can without putting so much unnecessary pressure/stress on all the parties involved.

Your going to have to grow up and take a hold of yourself (grabs you by the arms, thinks about it and then gives you a big hug).

Nobody is perfect and as you very well can see life is a b'each. We can't always have what we want but we can do what we have the power to do to keep our sanity in tact. Well at least a portion of it most of the time.

You need to see a doctor and determine what the cards have dealt you. You might want to speak to a pastor (if your a church goer or not) who can counsel you so that you don't have so much indecision about your feelings in their entirety.

It sounds as if your mother's husband is still in the dark about all of this. I hope he's going to make it through this without having to deal with a divorce at the same time!!!

I see a very serious "family meeting" coming about where it is going to be of the utmost importance that feelings can be sorted out and ascertained before the meeting occurs.

Get all of your facts together, including any research you can do about the "possible" dangers to that "unknown" pregnancy for if it is going to be a risk of defects you'll need to do something.

There are some extremely difficult decision to be made (with the help of professionals) so that nobody will suffer the a life of sorrow that your man has lived. The need to know about who your parents are is a driving force that many adopted children live mostly with no possibility of ascertaining that goal.

Remember theres no way that anybody could have known nor would have even imagined might have happened that now has.

Don't close the door to your Mom and make sure you tell her that you'll need her support as well als she will need yours. Maybe she is not "with" his birth father and their just as blown away as you are.

Have you had a chance to have a heart to heart talk with anyone in this picture? I think maybe you need to.

Are you even sure she is really "with" that ex-lover or maybe their trying to sort out this thing together as they didn't imagine that little boy they gave up would ever be back in their lives, let alone in the way it is in yours.

Keep strong and don't be bitter because life has a strange way of dealing out cards to the players who fight the game for not trying to adjust and just keep cooperating keeping a strong hold on your rollercoaster of emotions that your probably riding right now.

I wish you all the best of luck and you be sure and be there for your father, mother, lover and anone else cuz your gonna be needing some support form them as well. Don't close the doors too soon honey!

...............think about it....................

Answer 2

Oh, the tangled webs we weave. It really is a convoluted situation you have fallen into, lovely...

What has happened, unfortunately, cannot be undone. And what your mom did is very wrong. Unpardonable? Maybe. Depending on the situation. You would need to have a talk with her. She owes it to you to clear matters up. Her past is her past, but when it threatens to merge with your future, it needs to be cleared.

Firstly, it is not a proven fact that children borne out of relatives would come out retarded. There is a higher chance of that happening, but statistics indicate that's not much of a worry. That being said... ewwwwww.... The fact that you were engaged romantically with your brother is unsettling. An ordinary love story shall have a lot of complications. The added complications of this situation might probably not be worth it.

Think about it. I would have to say that aborting and moving on might be the best route to follow. It may not be the easiest. But then again, remember that there are no easy route to follow in this scenario.

Best of luck...

Answer 3

Oh my God. There's not much you can do about this. Your mother made a bad mistake. Did she know the man you were dating was her son and purposly not tell you? And how is it that out of every guy out there, you ended up with your half brother? If you are pregnant, there's nothing more you can do about it. Either give the kid up for adoption, or raise him. Your unborn baby has no fault. May God help you in the journy you have ahead of you. Sorry none of us can be of more help. Be strong and hang in there.

Answer 4

The baby should be fine, it takes many inbreedings for the kid to have problems. Plus read what you wrote, bring a child thru this world in sin, isnt sex before marriage a sin? Im not religious, but from what i hear it is.

Answer 5

sweetie don't blame yourself for that you didn't know.and give your mother a chance ,i guess your mother didn't want to bother the past,sometime things are better to leave alone,but hers hit you in the face and that why i think you didn't know.so don't give up have your child if your pregnant. but the brother and sis thing.sweetie go with your heart you are the only one that know what is best for you.good luck.

Answer 6

Well, that sucks, but wasn't there already sin in you having sex before marriage, let alone that it's your half brother? It's ok to be mad at your mom, but remember, she is still your mom and never set out to hurt you.

Answer 7

I can understand your hurt adn confusion, but it was very ironic how things happened. YOUr motheris entitled to make mistakes, I thinkyou should talk to her or at least hear her out. She she will have no other choice but to allow you to tell her how emotioless adn lost you feel. God Bless you dear.

Answer 8

your half brother and sister there is no blood line there go ahead and have the baby and if you dont want it after he is born give up for adoption

Answer 9

that sucks you have been bangin your brother when you should have been bangin me your mother should have told you i suggest get an abortion your baby might come out retarted dont worry i will still love you

Answer 10

Lovely, this is perfectly normal!! Can you please provide a picture. Perhaps a film of some sort??