Im nervous and feel like its a stranger coming home to me. And the crazy thing is I dont know if I can sleep with him. How ****** up is that. Not to get any from your wife after fighting for your country. Whats wrong with me??????//
2006-08-07 16:32:05 · 40 answers · asked by fawn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I didnt cheat on him. I love him with all my heart!! Its just so much time apart makes you feel like strangers. Its wierd.
2006-08-07 16:50:28 · update #1
My husband is deployed too, and I'm nervous about him coming home too. But once you see him get off that plane, all those emotions will turn to joy and excitement when you see his face!! Don't worry, everything will be fine! The separation is just taking its toll on you. Keep focusing on why you fell in love with him, why you married him. Him being home will take some adjustments but everything will sort itsellf out! :)
2006-08-07 16:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with everyone else.... My dh is also in Iraq the last 3 years and I've only seen him twice during this time. I understand EXACTLY your feelings... Mine may be coming in for R/R sometime in Sept. and I'm already a bit anxious.... Our relationship is GREAT on the phone but I get anxious for these same reasons right before his arrival.
I always let his kids give him the first "Hello" (hugs & kisses) at the airport.... I just give myself the time I need to get reaquainted...give him a massage, help him unpack, show him around because there is always something new that we've accomplished at home (some project) while he was gone....
It all just seems to somehow fall into place..... R/R doesn't last long and he's back out.... Ugh.....
You'll be just fine.... FACT is, he IS a bit of a stranger and it's not typical that you feel like sharing your soul (body) with a stranger...but that feeling won't last long at all...
Also.... The others are correct in telling you that the guys get counseled about this prior to them arriving home to you. If it weren't typical, they wouldn't be counseled on the topic... Nothing is wrong with you...
2006-08-07 17:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by ~Me~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound young and inexperienced. If you really love him, those feelings of comfort will come right back. It sounds like you're unsure of your ability to have sex with him when he hasn't been around physically to build up the trust you need. So now you feel shy and insecure about "doing it with a stranger." If you married him, he is no stranger. Go buy some cute lingerie and candles. Welcome the poor guy home the way a woman would. Stop being a child.
Peace on Earth.
2006-08-07 16:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by Polly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how long he has been gone,but there is nothing wrong with you. If you both still love each other, waiting a day or two after he gets home is not uncalled for.
Go out on a date or two,have a romantic dinner, see a show together,catch up on everything over a picnic in a nice quiet park.
Most of all,be honest and let him know your true feelings.
Spend an afternoon just holding each other,the world will keep on turning I promise.
2006-08-07 16:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by hott.dawg™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be normal, especially if he has been gone for a long time. After being away from someone for awhile you would feel as though he was a stranger; things may turn out different once you see him though. You may fall in love with him all over again.
2006-08-07 16:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing! My guy is there, and when he came home last month.....it was wonderful! I didn't set right out to have sex right away, because of the time change, I let him rest, but he didn't rest very long before he took my hand and pulled me down to lay with him. We held each other for a long time, talking about his time there, and getting to know each other again.
That is where we become strong in our love, having the test of being faithful while they are away. Some women can do it, some women can't. It crosses their minds everyday, if we are staying faithful to them here at home. It was one of the first things my guy asked me. I didn't get mad, I said you know what I have been waiting for.......and that was him, if anything him being away made us even closer.
Stay strong, and plan a very, very seductive night for his first night home.........those feelings will come rushing back to you and you'll be glad they did!
2006-08-07 16:38:38 · answer #6 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow hon! It won't be so bad. Just so you know, the military gives all returning soldiers a little speech/seminar thing when they return warning them to take it slow with their wives and get to "re-know" each other before trying to dive right back into the relationship where you left off. So hopefully, he's going to be sensitive to your feelings and know a little about what to expect. My husband was a complete gentlemen on his return and made sure not to rush anything, including sex. We spent a few days just hangin out and chilling and remembering how to be "intimate" again. You'll be fine! Don't think too much about it and turn it into a big obstacle in your head. Good luck!
2006-08-07 16:36:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal to see yourself as "awaiting a stranger" ASK my wife shes had to wait for me several times over our 17 years of marriage and my 20 years of military service. The best thing you can do is remember that to him you might be a stranger to. You both may need time to get reacquainted and :"Fall back into love:" Give it a chance and I can almost guaranty every thing will work out fine...Good luck and tell him thanks for serving, and thank you for supporting him...
2006-08-07 18:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by eldertrouble 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try and relax. Since you say he is coming home, maybe you can arrange the day he arrives so you'll have time alone together before bedtime. Try to take things slow and go with the flow, but if at bedtime you're still not comfortable, just let him know what you told us here. Please remember that after time in Iraq he will be different, so what you're afraid of isn't unusual.
2006-08-07 16:41:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is natural. It will take some time getting used to each other. Be honest with him about your feelings, and try to get him and you to marriage counselling.
Share your feelings and experience with the other wives and girlfriends at the Army or Marine Support Group for his unit. They may have help or consult for you.
Don't give up on each other. He's been through the absence and war. You too have been through a lot. Help each other. You have each other now.
May God bless you, and thank you for supporting your man and this country.
2006-08-07 16:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋