Am I lesbian or am I Bi?

Question

As far back as 10 yrs I remember being attracted to females with my first lovebite at that age from an other girl. I never had the guts to come out and I did what my family and culture says is right. Got married at 18 in order to get out of home. Have 3 children, my ex husband knew i was attracted to females from the beginning and I nearly didnt marry him but hence 13 years later we split up. I never once cheated with a female while I was married, although he would have loved me too. No I saved that. Anyway I came out a few years ago and my kids know. Ive had 2 relationships and are currently living with my female partner. Who I love to pieces, we have to issues regarding her mental health for a while and of late I've found my thoughts wondering to thinking about sex with a male again. Okay let me state this, I dont want a relationship with a man, its just not me.... . Am I bi, if so how does that works being in a committed relationship. Is it just stress? what do you think?

Answer 1

Being in a committed relationship is a choice anyone can make, bisexual, straight, lesbian, whatever. Being loyal in a relationship has nothing to do with it. And only you would know if you like both girls and guys in a loving and sexual relationship kind of way, which would mean you're bi. You don't need a label if you don't want one or are questioning your feelings. Just wait and figure it out. I have linked helpful web sites you might want to look at. Peace.

Answer 2

Lesbian = Female with female homosexuality or homoamoury.
Bisexual = Male or Female with both genders.


If you don't want a relationship with a man, then lesbian is the more accurate term. Don't worry though, I know there are many terms with many definitions, but these seem clear. Also the term "gay" (aside from meaning happy) designates to either male or female homosexuality. It all depends the context.


However, based on your current situation, this seem to best describe who you are: You fluctuate between loving females and males, but have a stronger affiliation with the female gender. Maybe you only want sex with the male, with no reliationship. But being lesbian doesn't just mean having near-sexual experiences with another female, but also developing a relationship.


As such, I guess you can choose. Since we all seem to change very fast, we are never really ONE single thing at all times.

Answer 3

You sound a little like me but I'm old and I stayed married, You know I was told when I was in my teens because I was able to have sex with both sex's I was bi (a gay guy told me this) I stayed in my marriage and like you stopped myself from taken that step that would make us as a person complete.. My answer to you is I think your Bi, With me I know if I wasn't married I be with the same sex.. Bi/gay/trans it don't matter you know it's only a label and what does matter is that you do what makes you happy and complete... Best of luck

Answer 4

Interesting...I'm thinking you are just bi, but it is reversed, usually the female will be with a man in a committed relationship, but enjoy occasional sex with a woman but it seems you prefer the relationship with the women and the occasional sex with the man....I don't think stress would change your preference sexually.. I think it would just lead you to cheat not switch sexes.

Answer 5

Fidelity is fidelity. If you are in a committed relationship with a lady and you sleep with a man, you cheated on her. It doesn't matter if you are Heterosexual, Lesbian or Bi, if you are in a committed relationship it is considered cheating. If you think that it might hurt you if your partner slept with a man, it will probably hurt her, too.

By the way, I suspect that you are bi based on your descriptions.

I wish you happiness and I wish you all the best.

Answer 6

You're lesbian. You've been with a man and didn't like it and only did it to get out of the house. You enjoy being with a woman. Bi would be liking and enjoying both women and men so therefore you are a lesbian =]

Answer 7

Yeah, I think maybe you are thinking about some of the security you had in your married relationship, and transferring that to the sexual relationship you had with your husband. Dealing with health issues, especially mental health, can be very stressful.
But I think you're still lesbian, through and through.

Answer 8

If you can fall in love with both sexes; you're bi.
If you can fall in love with only women; you're a lesbian.
If you can fall in love with only men; you're straight.
If you can't fall in love with a particular sex and yet you do get physically involved; you're a pervert. You want to hump every living thing that walks past you.
If you judge the situation by loving feelings rather than physical attraction, you'll probably arrive at a more accurate answer.

Answer 9

Bisexual and Homosexual are just that. Sexual. If you are sexually interested in both men and women, it is more than fair to say that you are bisexual. But there are other factors. Some people are affectionate towards one particular gender. If you like both men and women, you may be bisexual, but if you only want a relationship with a woman, you may be homo-affectionate. There are many factors that figure into it. What really matters is what makes you happy. Just be true to yourself and don't stress over your sexual preference.

Answer 10

You know, I'd think having ONE crazy person around your kids would be enough. Mental health issues? THAT'S a great family environment.

Throw in a divorce, and a coupla guys from down' the bar and your kids ought to really prosper.