2006-08-07 16:13:02 · 53 answers · asked by sarah jessica p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
should i hope he changes. he says he is stressed and that i piss him off at times. i'm a smart girl and beaytiful and i have a supportive family. i graduate from university next year.
2006-08-07 16:18:39 · update #1
*beautiful
2006-08-07 16:19:07 · update #2
its so hard to leave with two kids no guy out there wants that kind of baggage
2006-08-07 16:20:50 · update #3
he is threatening to kill me
2006-08-07 16:26:43 · update #4
Leave him because he will never really change. Even if he gets help with dealing with his own depression and demons. He will always be angry. This man has been hurt as a child and will pass that hurt down to his own children. Love is the only thing that will heal him, and if he doesn't find that love within himself, he will never now how to give it to anyone else.
2006-08-07 16:21:34 · answer #1 · answered by tbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my love, I spent 6 years in an abusive relationship waiting for the man to turn into the man of my dreams, and it very nearly killed me.
Your kids are what really matters in a situation like this, you need to be safe so that you can be the best mum that you can be for them. Think about it, do they deserve to be next in the firing line?
No man should ever lay his hands on you.
Find somewhere safe to stay and you'll be fine. It will be the best thing that you ever did.
You may feel that you can't do this right now, but you will know when the time is right. Think about the alternatives, and you will soon make the right decision.
Stay strong and keep to your choices, if you cave this time you will NEVER leave him.
Remember, he will never change and will probably start to abuse your children as well, allowing them to live in this situation is child abuse.
Good luck and stay safe.
Lou x
2006-08-07 22:37:54 · answer #2 · answered by lou archer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your two children and leave straight away. Get a family member to collect you. Abusive men always say it is their partners fault. They never seem to change their ways. There are plenty of good men out there who would be happy to have a ready made family. Even if you do not find someone else, it would be wrong for you and your children to stay in an abusive relationship. Good luck with your graduation.
2006-08-07 22:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety you can do so much better look in the mirror at yourself and ask yourself do you want to keep putting up with an a**hole that beats you and makes you feel like a nothing?? You said that you are going to graduate from a university!! You can do way better!!! Don't go looking for a relationship right away take time to heal and get to know who you really are and get your confidence back!! You don't need him to survive you can do it alone I believe that you can and if I can do it you can do it!!! If you ever need to talk you got my screen name I have msngr too!
There are men out there that will take you and your kids on and be a good step father to them don't worry about that. You will make it and you will find someone that truly loves you for who you are flaws and all!
2006-08-07 16:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i'm a kid who is going through the same thing. You need to seperate. I know it will be hard on your kids, and i feel the pressure now. But a split household is even worse, because the parents are unhappy and theres a lot of fights yelling screaming etc. Also, if your husband hurt you physically, and the children are seeing it, it will make them upset beyond belief. As a 13 year old going through a seperation thats rougher than most, i know that if my parents stayed in the same house, me and my sister would be more upset. Move on, but try to make the seperation as clean as possible, its very stressful as a kid to get caught up in the middle. Best of luck to you and your family.
2006-08-07 16:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been where you are now, and its not nice at all, as you are more than aware. I too have two children, probably the only difference being from me too you is that my eldest is brain damaged and blind. unfortunatly love they don't change while your with them, the only time they change is when you change the circumstances yourself. then even then sometimes they don't change. all i can say to you is this "Its a big world out there, scary at times, but definately no scarier than what your living now. You can do it, make the break. Know your worth more because you obviously are. I stuck my relationship out for 9 years hoping that things would get better, and they never did. Please for the sake of you and your children, get out and get out now. i hope things get better for you. Much love Jane xxx
P.s I've had a ball incidently since i did get rid, the first 6 months left alot to be desired. But take heart it really does get better i promise you xxx
2006-08-07 20:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, for your and your kids sakes, MOVE ON. Take the kids and get out! Guys that abuse, expecially physically, see it as their right to abuse and will keep on doing it. They usually get to the point that they badly hurt their partner to the point of putting them in the hospital, or they kill them. And he will, eventually, move on to the kids. Do you really want your kids to learn to stay in a household where there is major abuse? Do you really want your son to learn that abusing is how you treat women? Do you want your daughter to learn that letting a guy abuse you is ok and then she gets into abusive relationships when she grows up?
Get out for your sanity, for your kids santiy, and for the safety of all of you!
Even if you think that your kids won't see or hear anything, think again. Even when you think they are asleep, they are usually awake and hear everything. It does affect them. But, they know that you are upset by the abuse, so they don't say much to you about it (I am suspecting that anyway). Even if you ask them if it affects them, they probably won't tell you because they are afraid it will hurt you or their daddy will hurt them.
Go to a shelter, go to a friends or families home, get your own apartment. Whatever it takes, GET OUT NOW.
I do wish you luck. I know it's hard to get out of an abusive relationship. I was stupid and stayed in one for 20 miserable years. I am finally happy, in a non-abusive relationship, and am planning on being married next year. Good guys are out there. You deserve someone that will treat you like a goddess at all times, NOT abuse you in anyway.
Once you do leave, I suggest you get a counselor for you and your kids. Ask the counselor about groups and or classes for women leaving abusive relationships. If the counselo9r doesn't know of any, go to the local women's shelter and ask about them there. They can teach you how to spot an abuser, how to heal from the abuse (which can take a long time to do but is worth it), how to take care of yourself and your children, etc. DON'T get into another relationship with anyone until you are completely over this guy and have healed quite a bit from the crap he has put you and your family thru. Then, and ony then, will you be ready for a new relationship. You do NOT need a guy to take care of you and your kids. You CAN take care of you and your kids alone.
2006-08-07 16:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if any man comes to the point of going beyond words and yells that he does so because he has no respect whatsoever for you or the fact that you have two children together. believe me, when a man hits you once its all the easier for him to hit you again and if you let him get away with it the first time, not only are you doing harm to yourself, but you are also telling him that he can allow himself to sink to such levels as violence. being stressed is just an excuse. leave him. use the support of your family to get yourself and your children away. if he hit you who knows who he is going to hit next or rather when will he move on to your kids. i'm sure he's not a bad man but you can´t allow yourself to be treated thusly. you shouldn't be thinking if other men would or wouldn't want to get into a relashionship with you because of your children. think about your children. your here for them and that's why you had them so love them full-time and remember that if someone dosen't want to get into a relashionship with you because of them then they're not worth it. enjoy life and what it holds. it is a gift to have children and NOT baggage.
2006-08-07 16:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by xiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As quick as possible. Like just after reading this, don't waist time reading load the kids and leave. Life is to short for being in an abusive relationship. One day you will find that special someone and you will know what happiness really is. Protect your kids and yourself.
2006-08-07 16:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by Can do it man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey have you watch any of the maury shows have you seen how those guys treated them but from the many things I have learned in life NO MAN SHOULD NOT EVER AND I MEAN EVER PUT HIS HANDS ON A FEMALE you dont want your kids growing up with out a moma around do you the only thing I can say to you is get out NOW while you have a chance cause you might not ever have that chance again and thats just reality...the truth
heres a group you can join and its for womens only and they talk about any thing that can help someone
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/women_unite/
2006-08-07 16:23:29 · answer #10 · answered by Black Beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋