pregnancy at 14?

Question

i am 14 and recently found out that i am pregnant. i only had sex once and the condom broke and i ended up preganat, what do i do and how do i tell my parents? the guy knows and he is staying with me though all of this

Answer 1

first off, screw all the people bashing you for decisions you made. its your life. you live it, you learn from it. thats how we grow.

second, go to a doctor. if you don't want your parents to find out just yet, go to planned parenthood. they're very nice and deal with this on a daily basis.

third, relax, take just one day to slow down. believe me, stress will kill you. just do something you like to do - go to the movies.

talk with the dad, ask him to help you work out what you are going to tell your parents, whether or not you will do it alone or if you want him there with you.

think about what you want first - you are the one having this baby. there are 3 options
You can choose to have a baby and raise the child.

You can choose to have a baby and place the child for adoption.

You can choose to end the pregnancy.

again, i urge you to go to plannedparenthood.com because they go over a lot of information and have very helpful checklists that may help you make your decision. they also have tips on how to tell your parents.

good luck to you. everything will end up okay in the end, if its not okay, its not the end. just remember, do what will make you happy - at the end of the day you are the only one staring back at yourself in the mirror.

Answer 2

It only takes one time to get pregnant. If the condom broke, you should have opted for taking the morning after pill within 5 days of unprotected sex. Any clinic would have given it to you.
But since you didn't do that, you were obviously too young to even have sex.
You're 14 years old, you don't have a job and you can't even vote. If you can't feed a baby, don't have one. Just because you think you're mature enough to have sex doesn't mean you are.

How do you tell your parents? Well, there really isn't an easy way because either way they'll freak out. So theres no nice way to tell them. Tell your mom first, maybe she'll sympathize with you.

If you feel you aren't ready to tell them you can privately speak with Planned Parenthood by calling them and arranging an appointment. You have a few choices:
a. abort the baby
b. have the baby and set it up for adoption
c. r,have and raise the baby yourself
It all depends on how you feel about your current situation.
Make sure you have insurance though, that is what will be paying for the appointment or an abortion- WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE.

As for your boyfriend, maybe he should have visited the Trojan website and learn how to properly put on a condom. Since most breakages result from that. Also, the boyfriend always says he'll stay with you. But he's 14, he doesn't have to carry this baby, he can leave you within a few months and go on his merry way to adulthood and think of your pregnancy as a bump in the road.
Be prepared for anything.
Best of luck.

Answer 3

You have no business being sexually active at the age of 14. It doesn't matter if you were using a condom, you should be hanging with your friends and not screwing around. I have a 16 year old that is still a virgin. But now that the damage is done, you need to go to your parents. Are you able to talk to them? I am shocked to hear that the boy is staying by your side. remember one thing though, as time goes on, he could get scared and run or his parents could brain wash him in to abandoning you and the baby if you decide to have it. Geez, this is a real tough one. I am 38 years old with four kids, the 16 being the oldest. I can't honestly say that I would tell him to have the girl abort the baby. How do you feel about having a baby at this age? If you want to have the baby and your parents are supportive, maybe they will help you in your time of need. maybe one of them can watch your baby while you continie your education, even though that will be a very tough road to go down. What ever you do, DO NOT DROP OUT OF SCHOOL. That would be the worse thing you can do for you and your baby. Adoption is always an answer, I could not personally do that, but it is a wonderful option for some people. Abortion, how do you feel about that? It's really going to be a personal choice that only you can make. I hope you have wonderful, understanding parents, because you sure can use some. I wish you luck, it sure will not be easy for you. Hope what ever you decide, works out the way you want it to.

Answer 4

You asked for help with a difficult question. You did not ask people for their thoughts of you being pregnant at 14.
My mom had me at 14. And to be honest, it was very difficult because she did not have the support of her parents. They told her to abort the pregnancy. Thankfully, she did not. You will know that your parents will be upset. You knowing that will be the best part because the worst is already expected and if that is what you get, then you will not be surprised by it. But they still will love you.
Things you should do is concentrate on finishing school. You still have three to four more years. Take on the responsibility as if you dont have anyone there to help you. It will get you in the right frame of mind, because you will not always have someone there to watch your baby when you need a break. And finally... get on birth control after the pregnancy.
As far as your options, looking into placing the child up for adoption is not a bad idea. It is a tough choice. Do not run into marriage either, that is not a reason. And if you do choose to go on with the baby, think about this. My mother and I were best friends because we grew up together, but I always knew she was my mom. She past away last year and I am thankful she did have me at 14, I got to spend more time with her that way.
Good luck in all you do.

Answer 5

You and "the guy" should sit with your parents and both say expecting a child. Shows maturity, responsibility on both your parts.

Will they be mad? Obviously. Will they hate you and throw you out? Hate, I hardly doubt. Threaten to kick you out, they can't. Against the law in US. They will calm down and deal with the matter if they themselves are mature responsible adults. Just give them cool down period and understand their emotions.

Just think, how would you feel your 14 year old daughter coming in and saying "mom im pregnant". You would too be upset. Just think of this pregnancy 14 years from now, how would you handle your teenage daughter or son doing something as they are still kids themselves? Then you are part responsible and have responsibility on you when your child did that.

However prior to this: You and this guy needs to discuss how you two will care for this child at age 14. Job? Food? Diapers? Accessories for the infant? Doctor visits? Medical bills? Have you been reading how to take care of sickness in infants and awareness?

What about your education? You need your education and so does he. Especially to support this child so young.

Not even supporting yourselves yet. How going to support this child?

Then present it to the parents. Don't just say "I thought you could watch the baby". uh noo. If going to have a baby and keep, then you are saying you are going to raise one just as an adult would. If you can't, adoption or abortion.

He might say he is staying with you through all this. But don't count on it. Always have a back up plan. You two unmarried and you saying "the guy", means you are not in serious relationship. Usually people would say "bf" or "fiance" etc.

Condoms are not enough against pregnancy. Keep that in mind for future references. Good you used a condom. But not great.

Answer 6

Tell your mom first. Make sure she knows that the guy is planning to stand by you. Have a plan for how you are going to manage to stay in school- because she needs to hear that. Mention that you know now that you made an irresponsible decision. That will be an important point to her. But in the end, she will have to love her grandchild, no matter what.

PS- don't take her first response to heart, as preg hormones may lead you to do. My mom's first words were 'Be sure your sin will find you out." but she loves my kids more than anything.

Answer 7

I think that is the stupidest thing to do when ur 14. But you did it and now you have to do something about it. Tell your parents because if you dont, they will notice something different. You have to deal with it now, have the baby and take care of it. Im glad the guy is staying with u, cuz you're gonna need a lot of help.

Answer 8

Well hun my best friend got pregnant when she was 15 the guy left her and now she is in her mid twenties got her Ged and went to college and is a radiology tech now also is married and has another child and one on the way it will work out you can have a child and still do it you have to want to.About telling your parents hmmm I am thinking I have girls a little younger than you I guess I would want them to come to me and so we could figure out what is next and get prenatal care Good luck sweetie

Answer 9

now if u r pregnant trust me its hard and its a 24/7 job i got pregnant at 16 and i have to drop out of school cuz nobody would watch my daughter and u have to get up with the baby every 3 hours to feed them. then when they hit the 2 stage they r monsters i know its going to be hard tellin ur parents my dad was such a butt head i hid mine for 5 months without him knowing well i give u the best of luck i hope it goes well.

Answer 10

Get your parents to sit down at the kitchen table. Tell them that you have something you must tell them. Be honest. Tell them what happened and why you had sex. Tell them about your boyfriend and what he is willing to do. Maybe you could invite him and his parents over. I know it will be stressful, but once it is out in the open, everything will be okay. My mom got pregnant at a young age and she sat her parents down and told them. They freaked out at first but they stood by her. I have been their greatest gift. You should just tell them. You can do it. My friend was 13 when she got pregnant and she told her mom first and her mom took her dad to the edge of town so he could cool down by the time he got home. Please, tell your parents. They will still love you and they will support you.