Say somthing funny and the first one to make me lol gets them!
2006-08-07 14:52:03 · 17 answers · asked by anime_girl 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
aard--VARK!
2006-08-07 14:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
guy is in Wal-Mart buying a big bag of dog chow for his golden retriever. The signless woman behind him asks the dumbest question: " Do you have a dog?' He thinks for a second and replies: " No. I was thinking about going back on the Purina Diet. You fill your pockets with dog food, and since its total nutritional, you eat some and you don't feel hungry anymore." Everyone is listening attentively now. The woman asks, " Does it work?" The guy figures if she's this dumb, go for it and he says, " Yea, I probably shouldn't do it though, last time I lost 50 lbs and woke up in the hospital with all kinds of IV's in me"
Shocked, the woman says, " Were you poisoned?"
Finally the guy says, " No. I was licking myself in the middle of the road and a car hit me."
2006-08-07 21:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by juanita2_2000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A frog walks into a bank...
and steps up to the teller.
"Patricia Black, how may I help you?", the teller says.
"I'm looking for a loan" says the frog
"I'm sorry, but we don't give loans to frogs."
"Why not? I need a loan, and this is a bank."
"Well, for one thing, you probably don't have any major assetts that we can use as collatoral."
"I have collatoral!" says the frog, and he pulls out a silver trinket.
"I'm sorry, we're looking for something a bit more valuable--like a house." says the teller.
"Well if you're not going to grant me a loan, at least let me speak to your manager!" grumbles the frog. So the teller calls the manager.
"What's the problem?" asks the manager.
"This frog wants a loan, but all he has is this little doohickey." The frog holds up the trinket.
"Oh my gosh..." says the manager, who is amazed upon seeing the frogs trinket "do you know what that is?..." the manager trails off before he yells...
"THAT'S A KNICK-KNACK, PATTY BLACK, GIVE THE FROG A LOAN!"
**I stole this from someone else but it made me lol earlier.**
2006-08-07 21:59:14 · answer #3 · answered by Antisocial 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i will try... i am using somethin very embrassing that happened to ME!!
last year when i was taking my pants off in the softball field cause i had shorts under and it was hot sooo...i accidentally pulled my pants and shorts down!! and there were guys behind me...hot ones 2!!!
here's yo mama joke:
yo mama was so fat when she a school bus with white kids in it she thought it was twinky
2006-08-07 22:12:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask your question first, than you pick the
best answer. That how it is done.
Offering 10 points as a question is against
Community Guidelines.
Besides it shows you lack imagination.
2006-08-07 22:03:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't have a funny thought in my mind, so I'll settle for the 2 points.
2006-08-07 21:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by running2adream 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something funny! Hahahah!
2006-08-07 21:56:48 · answer #7 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's colder than a steel camode on the shady side of an iceberg!!!
2006-08-07 21:57:21 · answer #8 · answered by buffynbtvs2002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really, but just I found your question to sound funny .
2006-08-07 21:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ lani s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bunny just needs two for world domination...
(\_/)
(^.^)
(v v)o
But if you give him ten more, he will rule the universe! But, eh, he can settle for just the measly earth and its entire population (including you) for now.
2006-08-07 21:57:40 · answer #10 · answered by Aloofly Goofy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
UMM... HOW DO I MAKE ppl laugh?????????????????????????????????? idk idk idk idk idk idk idk .. i dont even know you so i dont know ur personality so how can someone possibly make you laugh if they have no idea who you are?
but ill try
**************************
Ok , this is too hard, NEXT QUESTION PLZ
now give me my ten points!!!!
\
Thank You
OK, iv finally got a funny joke!!
Here it is:
Yo momma so fat, scientists have declared her *** to be the 10th planet.
Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Your momma's so poor she can't even pay attention!
Your mamma is so fat she's on both sides of the family.
Your mamma is so fat when we were having sex I rolled over 9 times and I was still on the *****!!!!!
Yo momma so ugly your Grandma threw her on the street and was charged for littering.
Yo momma so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!
Yo momma so ugly, she walked into Taco Bell and everyone ran for the border.
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like **** !!
Yo momma is like a bowling ball, gets picked up fingered, thrown in the gutter and ***** comes back for more.
Your mamma is so poor she was kicking a can down the street, asked what she was doing and she said moving.
Yo momma is like a bottle of ketchup, she gets turned around, banged, and then she comes out slow.
Your mother is like a doorknob.... everyone gets a turn!
Your mom is like a race car driver, she burns 50 rubbers a day.
Your momma is like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet.
Your mothers so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo momma's so stupid she thought a quarterback is a refund.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick when she looks at a map she sees people waving.
Yo momma's hair so greasy when she gets in the car the oil light comes on.
Yo momma is a carpenter's dream...she's flat as a board and she's never been screwed.
Yo momma is so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Yo momma is so fat her blood type is rocky road.
Yo momma is so fat when God said let there be light, he said move your fat butt out of the way.
Yo momma is so dumb she got hit by a park car.
Yo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo momma is so fat she uses a mattress as a tampon.
Yo momma is so fat she put on a pair of Guess Jeans and the answer popped out.
Yo momma's so fat, she irons her clothes on the drive way!
Yo momma's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map she sees people waving.
Yo momma's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world!
Yo momma's so ugly, when you look up "ugly" in the dictionary, there's a picture of her!
Yo momma's so short, she does back flips under the bed!
Yo momma is like a shotgun, one cock and she'll blow
Yo momma's so fat she can't even fit in the chat room.
Yo Momma's so fat she gets her toenails painted at Lucky's Auto Body.
Your momma's armpits so stink she put on Right Guard and it went left.
Your momma's like a hardware store, 5 cents a screw.
Your momma's house is so small, when you buy a large pizza you have to go outside and eat it
Your momma's so hairy they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower!
Yo momma's got more mileage then a New York city taxi.
Yo momma's face is so pimply that her tears need a 4x4 to get down her face.
Yo momma's so loose, she jerks herself with the fat end of a baseball bat.
Yo momma so poor when I rang the doorbell she stuck her head out the window and yelled ding dong.
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma's so poor, she has to hang toilet paper out to dry.
Yo momma's so poor, when I stepped on a lit match in her house, she yelled "Who turned off the furnace"!
Yo momma's so poor, she can't get rid of the roaches in her house 'cause they pay half the rent!
Yo momma's feet are so crusty, when she walks on a wooden floor, it sounds like she's tap dancing.
Yo momma's like a pie, everybody gets a piece.
Yo momma's so fat that when she asked for a water bed, they threw a blanket over the pacific ocean.
Yo momma's like a "Happy Meal" small, cheap and greasy!
Your momma's so fat, your family pictures have to be taken by a satellite!
Your momma's like the village bicycle, everybody gets a ride.
Yo momma's got a party in her mouth tonight, and everybody's cumming.
Yo momma's so short, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
Yo mama so skinny her pyjamas only have one stripe.
Your mommas so ugly the army doesn't use guns any more, they use her picture.
You're mama is so poor that she chases the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo momma is so fat she caught a flesh-eating virus... and that was three years ago.
Yo momma so short she can hang glides Doritos.
Your mother is so fat she asked for a water bed and they put a blanket over the ocean.
Yo Momma's so fat, when she walks by the TV I miss a season of Friends.
Yo momma's so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mamma so old she has the autographed version of the Bible.
Yo Mamas so stupid she locked herself in the bathroom and pissed her pants.
Yo mama's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list!
Yo momma so ugly all the neighbours pitched in for curtains.
Yo momma's so short she did a suicide jump off the curb.
Yo momma's so short, you could see her feet on her driver license.
Yo momma's so stupid, she call you a son of a *****.
Yo momma's so fat she's got more rolls than a bakery.
Yo momma is so fat she falls off both sides of the bed.
***********
Lol Yo Momma jokes! LMAO!
lol
more Jokes:
OK sorry thats all folks'
lol
jk JUST KIDDING
2006-08-07 21:58:51 · answer #11 · answered by Xo♥Marissa♥oX 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋