My husband wants me to sew my wild oats. I was a virgin to marriage... and now he wants me to sleep with another guy.... I dont know what to do... I dont want to sleep with another man... I dont want to hes the only one I want... what should I do.... please help me....
2006-08-07 14:46:45 · 48 answers · asked by lover_of_irish 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your husband has a fantasy,that he needs you to fulfill for him.I would be very firm with him,and tell him that you do not need to do that,and then ask him why he needs you to?
2006-08-07 14:50:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sherry H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to know why he is asking you to do this. Is the "majic" between the two of you gone? Is this a way to rekindle something that he finds is missing? If that is all it is then maube the two of you can talk about what can be done without you having to do something that you feel uncomfortable about, which is very understandable. If this is a way to add some spice to the relationship then add some in another way. Maybe porn or going to the XXX store together is the answer. Some people feel uncomfortable doing that so mabe you could send him to go get something that would be aturn on to him and not against your morals. Lets face it you wouldn't have "waited" for him if you had known this would become the only option in the relationship. Hope I was of some help!
2006-08-08 17:16:50 · answer #2 · answered by Amy Jo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't.
If it makes you uncomfortable just thinking about it then tell him your not interested in an affair with any one but him.
Don't get mad or start accusing him of having/wanting another female for that is not always the case. Instead agree to do role playing, with him as the stranger. Make a date, meet somewhere you have never been before, wear something sexy, change your hairstyle, a bit more make-up, in other words be different then your usual self. Maybe stay over night in a motel. Or if money allows, take a trip to an island somewhere and act like strangers meeting for the first time, sometimes just the way others think about you two is exciting in itself. There is a number of ways to sleep with someone else...yet still be your husband.
Good luck!
2006-08-07 16:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that he's not suggesting you sleep with someone else just so that he can sleep with someone else. If it's something you're not interested in doing, then just explain that to him. If you really feel cheated because he's the only guy you've slept with, then maybe it's an option to consider - but just know that there will likely be consequences. It's possible that he's suggested this also becasue he's insecure - and thinks that you might cheat to 'sew those oats', so this way he's beating you to the punch by suggesting it. I think you find out why he wants you to do this so badly, and then explain to him that he's the one you love and want to be with - and he's good enough.
2006-08-07 14:52:19 · answer #4 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on this earth would your husband want you to sleep with another man? No I would never do that, not even if my husband asked me too, some men will get their women to sleep with another man so that they can go have sex with other women, Would he be trying to do something like this? I think you need to tell him no and that you are faithful and if he doesn't feel the same way about you and your marriage, then he may need to take some time to think about if he wants to keep this marriage.
2006-08-07 14:52:30 · answer #5 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even asking for answers. You know the answer. You don't want to do it. SO DONT! That's horrible he would even ask you to do it. That's shows no respect to you. Maybe he got a disease and he wants you to sleep with another man so he can say that man gave you both the disease. Or maybe he wants to watch you with the other man. Or maybe he wants to sleep with another woman. But what I'm thinking is hes just a pervert and here's the the real answer DIVORCE because you don't want to be with a man that doesn't respect you and if he asked you to do this now. Hunny, he will never respect you.
2006-08-07 14:56:02 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley Oasis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should do what is in your heart. If my boyfriend told me to sleep with another man I would tell him to sleep with another man if that's how he wants to be.
Tell your husband it makes you uncomfortable for him to say something like that to you and if he has a problem with it then that could be a problem for you. I say don't do it. Tell him you love him and only him and wouldn't want casual sex with some weird guy you don't know. I would be really upset if this problem arised in my realtionship, but I nail these sort of things on the head before they can even be tossed around.
Unfortunately, this is a big fetish with some men; seeing their wife being pounded by someone else. I say again, do what you know is right and what you feel is the right thing to do. If he doesn't accept that, then maybe you should reconsider the validility of his love towards you. Love should come before som fetish dear.
Hope I helped and let me know how things go ok?
cmeedom@yahoo.com
2006-08-07 14:54:04 · answer #7 · answered by Chelsea M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont do it.. u lose all respect of holding on to ur virginity for marriage, which is rare, and very respectful.. i think u should remain true to urself and the marriage vows that you've taken.. and if u tell him this and he still seems to pressure u , then he has an alternate agenda.. either he's guilty and wants u to do something so he doesnt feel guilty anymore, or he wants the same privledges and is waiting for u to do it , so he can say well u did it, i should be able to do it too.. so be very careful..
2006-08-07 15:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds like your husband wants to open a few doors in your relationship so that he may have the same privellage that he is trying to give you. Dont fall for what he is trying to do. You may need to search the root cause of exactly why he wants this to happen and if you can get him to be honest its probably because maybe he wants to sleep with another one as well. Dont allow those doors to be open, your marriage will never be the same.
2006-08-07 15:03:44 · answer #9 · answered by workingmywayback 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he took the wedding vows with you, that excluded anyone else. Remind him of that. Is he trying to cover for something he did or wants to do? Men seem to "need" so much more than women do and maybe that has been a fantasy for him for a long time, but he should have let you know before you got married. It might seem like you need to please him, but he backed you into this corner. Don't do anything you feel is wrong or you'll regret it yourself. Maybe when you are together he can "talk" about his fantasy and that would be as far as it goes. Otherwise tell him too bad, you didn't commit to that before you married.
2006-08-07 15:26:42 · answer #10 · answered by laugh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably find out exactly why he thinks you desire another man. What will happen if you don't decide to put your life in another mans hands? Does he not realize the diseases you could catch from this. To be honest, sounds like he is wanting an excuse to sleep around. If not, whatever his crazy reason is, you will both regret it if you do it. I would give him his freedom, that is obviously what he wants. You can't hold on to someone that doesn't want to be with you. Counseling? God bless you!
2006-08-07 14:55:21 · answer #11 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋