I need a snappy comeback?

Question

Last year when my child was in kindergarten he got in a fight with a girl. I made him buy the girl a flower and write an apology on the card. I thought this was the end of it. Apparently I was wrong.

Today at the school's open house, the girls mother confronted me. She told me that she already informed the teacher to keep the 2 kids seperated, and that she does not encourage her children to fight.

I was speechless. I had no idea what to say. What kind of parent would encourage a child to fight?? I need a snappy comeback for the next time this happens. I am sure it will happen again. Obviously she isn't they type of person to let this go. The kids are only 6 years old.

What can I say next time?? I don't want to just be standing there with my mouth hung open. But it is in school so I don't want to say anything too offensive either. Just a simple, sassy, smart comeback. Thanks!

Answer 1

Something like "Oh, thank you. I was a little embarassed to ask, but I was a little worried after she refused to appoligize for her behavior last year."

Answer 2

Obviously this mom is holding on to baggage. And chances are it's NOT because the daughter brings up the bad memory. I gather she was rude in her tone and actions, based on your use of the word "confront."
Some parents have the "angel concept" of their child, such that they cannot see anything wrong their child does. Have other parents had a situation with this little girl or her mom? I would venture to say YES. You cannot "fight with" someone who does not fight back...

Definitely talk to the teacher so she can get both sides of the situation. Otherwise, she has been left in the middle unfairly. She may also turn out to be your best ally in this situation.

Keep in mind that it is not your job to raise that mom-- she's already an adult. But she does not have the right to attack your parenting skills by her implication. If she says anything else, tell her that you do not encourage fighting either and walk away. I'm sure you have heard of the saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right." Don't inflate the situation with more negativity. That may be what she really wants you to do.

You might consider calmly talking to the mom and letting her know about the flower, card, and apology. She may not have seen those items and does not have the whole story. You might even want to do this in the presence of the principal or school counselor if you feel someone outside the classroom arena needs to get a feel for this mother's motives. BUT keep your motives positive.

There is an adage that says, "The squeaky wheel gets the oil." If this mom continues to confront you, she may be talking to the school leaders as well. Cover your own backside as much as necessay and possible.

Hopefully your son has learned his lesson and will not get into a fight with this child again. But, children will be children...

Also consider that most schools have more than one kindergarten class. I would think that more confrontations would give you grounds to request that your son be put in another room. Keep an eye on the situation and consider this as an option if the confrontations continue.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Obviously this mother is one of those parents who likes to think that her daughter is being picked on and therefore can do no wrong. First of all I would talk to your sons teacher, so that she/he will be aware of what had happened previously, from both standpoints. Your best comeback about the situation would have been to say "I thought that we had taken care of this unfortunate situation when it occurred and I had my son give your daughter a flower and sign a card apologizing for what he had done. Apparently you feel as if you need another apology from me, and I am doing so now so that our children can have a peaceful and enjoyable year in school together. I am truly sorry that I did not apologize to you at the time as well; and hope that we can put this behind us and concentrate on other topics from now on." I would not say anything, unless there is an occasion where the other mother brings up the topic again. Definitely speak to your child's' teacher and then see what happens. Good luck to you and your son. Have a good night!!

Answer 4

I'd avoid the snappy comeback, because she's only hanging onto it because she's scared. Attacking her with a comeback won't help her to let go of it, and your victory won't satisfy you, either.

You could try a compassionate and serious response OR you could go completely self-deprecating with humor:
"Yeah, I mean it's so embarrassing when my boy gets beaten up by a girl. I hope you've told her that's not the way to get a boyfriend".

When she stares at you in horror, smile and say softly "Look, they're little kids. My son did the wrong thing, and he apologized. Let's move on."

If you still get the hard faced look from her, just shrug and add:
"We'll, maybe one of you will l grow up one day. My money's on her", and walk away.

Answer 5

Tell her "fighting is just a part of growing up and if she doesn't like it she should keep her children at home. The children are going to forget about it and get along."

Answer 6

It sounds like the little girl isn't telling her mother the whole truth....or the mother didn't see the flower and apology. I would tell her to lead by example though.

Answer 7

A physical fight? If so:
I told my son never to fight with a girl, so at least my child isn't mistaken for a boy, and punched like yours is.

lol, lilnat7.

Answer 8

The best response is "You are smarter than that, I know that you know better than to act like that".

In a way you are complimenting her but it also makes her stop and think. She certainly can't reply with "No, I am dumb"

This is always a good response when you don't want to escalate the incident.

Answer 9

You could say this,"Well if you think I have been encouraging my kid to fight then you must be the deluisonal one lady". Or just go with her statment and vailidate the idea you both don't encourage your kids to fight.

Answer 10

Stay calm smile and walk away. Talk to the teacher in private and let her know your side of the story.