Let's say you live with a spouse who seems to always twist your words around, or starts arguements but makes it seem like you are the one with a problem and are the one who started it. This doesn't happen daily, but at least a few times per week. I'm often just left upset, angry and dumbfounded about the whole thing usually.
What (if any) psycological effects would this have on me in the long run??
And what's his deal??
2006-08-07 14:14:20 · 8 answers · asked by animal_mother 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You must be married to the g/f I just got rid of.....lol
It will take a toll on you. It will seep into you. You will absorb the anger, impatience, and hostility. You will begin to darken from this treatment.
I had to get rid of mine (we weren't married), even the parts I loved were good and sweet, they were small by FAR compared to the rest of her black heart.
It's bittersweet, but either get your spouse to a counselor or a good church, or leave.
My best to you.
2006-08-07 14:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and for most it's not you that is a sign of being married to a in mature male, I know I've had two and some boyfriends, Just try not to argue so much where you are left upset the older you get it will turn into STRESS something you do not need, My second marriage is better because through out our long term dating I would GET PISSED OFF when he started that crap and LEAVE HIM, I would just wile out. Once he saw that I did not care to put up with the CRAP he start acting better IT IS CALL GROWING UP Which is what he needs to do. Do not FEED into the HIPE of all that Crap he likes/loves to unload on you, He is the one getting the rise while you are left feeling as you do. Sad to say because of that 4 letter word we females tend to put up with Far to much BULL SH%$T. Take Care, If all else fells JUST IGNORE HIM & HIS MESS Try doing some things that you would not do. That will show him. MAKE HIM APPRECIATE YOU/YOUR FEELINGS.
2006-08-07 21:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by sweettoni37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who manipulate: CONGRATULATIONS!!!
People who are manipulated: DO SOMETHING!!!
You are a woman. Women have special power over others, and I do not mean legs and attractive bodies. What psychological effects would this have on you in the long run? You'd be letting your own significance be degraded by others. You have a voice. I have never met you, but I am sure if you speak up, your voice would mean something. If you know that you are being manipulated, do something about it. You were not granted with this knowledge to leave it as it is.
2006-08-07 21:23:22 · answer #3 · answered by Mercii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to twist your words back into the shape you planned. Be the one to start 'it' then and we all have our 'problems', but as a matter of course we are not talking of syllogistic logical problems or math/arithmetic problems, or are we. Try to balance ego with anti-ego, you may not be incorrect in your reasoning but you may be uncertain. Do *not* be like the man who could never say 'I don't know'. The key is knowing what it is you do not know, the answer is knowing how to create questions to further this knowledge.
Can your other balance ego with anti-ego? Is this other a sadist or narcisssist (touchie ego)? Love does have its down days for sure. What would this other say reading this.
http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/hegel/works/hl/hlconten.htm
2006-08-07 22:04:14 · answer #4 · answered by Psyengine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they would be any long terms effects unless it is really deeply disturbing you. Probably it would reduce your self-essteem and maybe cause you some anxiety.
I know there are books at the library (I work at one) on how to win arguements and that could probably help teach you to fight back.
If your spouse does this too you maybe you need couples therapy.
2006-08-07 21:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for you, I would say the risk is depression, anxiety/panic attacks or at the very least low self-esteem.
He is probably someone who suffers from low self-esteem or depression and unfortunately uses you to boost his self image. I'm not sure if this will actually help but no one deserves to be in a relationship like that.
2006-08-07 21:22:23 · answer #6 · answered by Vehlt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you realize it's his problem. If you don't do get him to counseling or get out you will start believing it's all your fault. If you just hadn't overcooked the steak or left the clutter on the table things would be better.
If you can't get him to change you have to leave him to save your sanity.
It's been my experience that these kind of people don't change. They move on to the next victim.
2006-08-07 22:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's emotional abuse. Get counselling or get out, it WILL get worse.
2006-08-07 21:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋