My mom is suffering from my dad. She doesn't wanna divorce cuz we won't have anywhere 2 live. My dad is awsome during the say but soemetimes gets drunk by night and gets dangerous. What should she do?
2006-08-07 13:36:41 · 22 answers · asked by my_hottie_boyfriend 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We tried asking him. It didn't work. He can't control his drinking.
2006-08-07 13:46:08 · update #1
I also think my dad is cheating on my mom. I read some online conversations he had with other women. At thet time, he wasn't drunk,
2006-08-10 06:43:42 · update #2
she needs to go to a womens shelter. that is abuse and she needs to get away for the sake of her kids and her own life. call 911 if you have to
2006-08-07 13:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad is an alcoholic, and it started with stress at work, money issues, and ended with his mom's death, being a strong influence. When he would travel he would always buy alcohol on the plane and come home drunk and reeking. Once he came home in the middle of the day leaving work to go to a bar, and the police caught him driving doing the same thing another day and my mom had to pick him up and cancel the party she was supposed to host. It was tough because we never knew what my dad was capable of. My mom knew some of the reasons why he was drinking and talked with him to get the emotions out of him. Then my mom arranged an appointment with the doctor so that the doctor could tell him properly he needed help and extra seessions to stop his intake.
So i suggest your mom talk to his doctor and explain the problem, a doctor has the authority to put a patient in the hands of help. And also maybe get to see a counselor, but before try to get the reasons to why he is drinking and cheating. If the problem is out of control well, it is up to you and your mom and family what to do next and what you want to see happen in the future.
Hope it works out
2006-08-15 03:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by natelements 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom should really divorce your dad. you can move in with a relative at least until you find a decent home to live in. Or your mom should have a talk with your dad during the day and say :"look, we love you very much but sometimes at night you get a little out of control and you scare us a bit. I don't want to continue living like this if your drinking is going to become a danger to the family. i love you and i want to help you. ..will you go into rehab for your problems so we can stay a family? If you dont want to i understand, but then i'm sorry we can't live here any longer. Its for your own good."
hope it helps. good luck
2006-08-07 20:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by miss♡hollywood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing first, you need to have your mom go to a shelter with you where you won't be in any danger. If you mom and dad want to work it there is counseling available no matter where you live. A drunk can not stop being a drunk unless he wants to. They have to want to quit drinking and get help with it such as AA. Also you and your mother can go to AA meetings such as teen AA and spousal AA. You can also call the police if you feel that you or your mother feel in danger and file a protective order so that he can't come near you or your family. Best advise get away from him and get help with your mom and possibly your father. Good luck.
2006-08-15 15:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by Sandra B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is violence in the household then yall need to get out. Nobody should go through that.
There are women's shelters in every town or near by town for just this reason.
They will take your mom and children in, give you beds to sleep in, food to eat, and help your mother learn to stand on her own two feet, they have the resources to help.
Most of them will help her find a job, give her bus fare, and help her find an apt when the time is right.
My sister was even in one that gave her a car for transportation to go and find a job.
They can also help with alot of other things such as counseling for her and the children.
These shelters also keep your identity private and do not tell anyone that you are there if they come looking for you.
2006-08-15 16:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's time for an intervention. If he can't control his drinking, or his behaviour when he drinks, he's an alcoholic and he needs help. Whether he's willing to admit there's a problem or not, he needs to learn some tough lessons fast. Is there a family member that you guys could stay at to give your dad a reality check? Basically letting him know you're serious and won't tolerate his alcoholic behaviour?
2006-08-07 20:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I am so sorry for you. I say that not to be condescending but because I came from that exact same situation. My mom stayed with her abuser for years. Try to get her to leave. Try your hardest. Contact a local women's shelter, church minister, police department, someone who can give you ideas about how to get out safely and where you and your mom can go. Tell her what these people say. You can usually talk to these people confidentially without giving a name. If she won't leave. You leave. I did. I packed all my stuff and went to stay w/ my grandmother and my friend. My having the courage to leave was enough to help my mom. She realized that she had to stand up for herself and me and leave or she ran the risk of letting an abusive man come between us. Then get a restraining order. Both of you. If you need anymore help, have any questions, or just need someone to talk to I'm here and I'll do what I can. my e-mail is mph103@yahoo.com feel free to use it ANYTIME.
2006-08-07 20:45:41 · answer #7 · answered by mph103 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that this is happening to you and your mother. You need to seek immediate help. Call the police, contact your local social services, a women't shelter, or talk to someone you can trust like a guidance counsler or a teacher. Explain to them your situation and that your mom doesn't want to leave because of the lack of options when it comes to housing. Someone can and will help you. Your father needs immediate help, whether it is an intervention or jail time. The only way he is going to see what he is doing to you and your mother is to sober up. It is going to be hard, not just on you and your mom, but also on your father. But until he sees what he has done, he is never going to even begin to get any better. If you need to talk to someone, please email me and I will help in any way I can. My email address is davidsgirl4282001@yahoo.com I hope everything works out for you and your family.
2006-08-07 21:03:50 · answer #8 · answered by Heather M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get more information. If he is abusive, your Mom can file for a restraining order. You do not have to leave the house and he still is liable to support his children. You can ask Family Services in your area for what the law requirements and benefits apply in your case. You are asking for information and they will give it to you. If you want to file any claims, it will be done only if you sign the documents and ask for that specific help, unless anyone in the family is in inmediate danger. Of course, there are shelters you can go and private organizations willing to help. There are phone numbers in your are you can call for advice and help. Know your options and good luck.
2006-08-07 20:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by umbralatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom doesnt want to divorce your dad then why dont u try to repair the root for all problems. as u say your dad is drunk by night and dangerous right,so get him help for that.Dont worry first he may not agree let u or your mom volunteer to go with him to classes which convince him drinking is bad. then it might help.
2006-08-07 21:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your mom need to have a serious talk to your dad when he isn't drunk. Tell him that he has to stop with his drinking or ELSE. If he continues, let him rot.
2006-08-07 20:44:21 · answer #11 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋