What is the funniest joke you have ever heard??

Question

I don't care what kind of joke it is just tell me ONE thanks!

Answer 1

Q: What does a clock do when it is hungry?
A: It goes back for seconds? ( it goes back 4 seconds in time)



Q How do you spell the letter "Y"
A: 1. "Y?"
A. 2. Because I want to know.




Q. Will you remember me in 1 yr?
A. Yes
Q Will you remember me in 2 yrs?
A Yes
Q Knock Knock
A Who's There
Q You forgot me already?

Answer 2

Two families move from Egypt to America. When they
arrive, the fathers make each other a bet -- in a
year's time, whichever family has become the most
Americanized will win.

A year later when they meet again, the first guy
says, "My son's playing baseball, I had McDonald's
for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case
of Bud for tonight. How about you?"

The second guy says, "F*ck you, towel-head!"

Answer 3

A little Indian boy went up to the Indian chief and asked him how he thought of all the names for the children in the tribe. The chief answered, "Well, if a child is born and I see birds flying, I name the child Flying Bird. And if a child is born and I see the moon, I name the child Moonbeam. and if a child is born and I see a river, I name the child, Rushing River. Why Two Dogs Screwing? Why do you ask?

Answer 4

It's a little politically incorrect, but here goes:
A man decides to enroll in college, on his first day of logics class, his professor gives him an example of logic.
Professor: Do you own a weed eater?
Guy in front row: Yes
P: Then I assume you have a mower?
G:Yes
P: Then you have a big yard?
G: Yes
P: Then you have children?
G: Yes
P: Then you have a wife?
G: Yes
P: Then you are straight?
G: Yes

The man was amazed. He went home and told his friend about his first day of college. His friend asked him what he learned that day. He asked his friend "do you own a weed eater?" his friend replied "no", he said " you're a f a g"

Answer 5

The blonde missed the 44 bus so she took the 22 bus twice.

Answer 6

Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for.

Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said "Yup he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Clem looked and said "Nope, ain't Clyde.

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Zeke to identify the body and Zeke took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Zeke looked down and said "No, it ain't Clyde."

The mortician asked "How can you tell?"

Zeke said "Well, Clyde had two a$$holes."

"What? He had two a$$holes?" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone in town knew he had two a$$holes. Every time we went to town, folks would say "Here comes Clyde with them two a$$holes!"

Answer 7

2 men walked into a bar and 1 fell down

Answer 8

☻☺☻☺☻☺☻

Pete and Repeat were on the fence. Pete fell off. Who remained on the fence?

OK☼

Pete and Repeat were on the fence. Pete fell off. Who remained on the fence?

OK☼

Pete and Repeat were on the fence. Pete fell off. Who remained on the fence?

☻☺☻☺☻

I was riding in a taxicab this morning and there was a female dispatcher on the two-way radio. She was dispatching the cabs to various addresses and the usual dispatch chatter was going on. Suddenly, the dispatcher asked? ... Michael Hunt, are you out there... Mike? Do you read me? ... Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt... Come in.... Come In... Come in Mike Hunt.

I don't know why this is so funny to me- it was just a cab ride.

I couldn't stop laughing. I think something shot out of my nose!

☻☺☻☺☻

Answer 9

19 terrorist crashed planes into the WTC

now THATS a good joke

Answer 10

Q.what the diference between a cheerleder and bags of trash?
A. trash gets taken out more offten!