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Husbands, would you be comfortable with your wife sleeping together with a male friend (not sex) on the nights you are away from home? My best friend (a guy) stays over whenever my husband is away on business and he has no problem with it. Would you be as trusting?

2006-08-07 12:20:28 · 30 answers · asked by Ash 6 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

My friend and I lived together as roomates for about a year before I got married and we used to sleep together. My husband knew that before we got married. He says he doesn't mind. He knows that we are best of friends and sleeping together is as natural for us as sleeping with my own sister or a female friend.

2006-08-07 12:47:32 · update #1

Oceana, my husband and myself are both fine with our arrangement. I consider myself lucky that I have someone that understands and trusts me completely. It works for us. All I'm interested in is whether other husbands would feel the same way or not. I'm not asking what anyone thinks about our situation, all I'm asking is whether or not anyone would do the same.

2006-08-07 13:02:45 · update #2

30 answers

I know where your coming from cause my best friend is a guy and my husband is OK with me spending the night at his house and him spending the night at our house while he is out of town cause he knows that I would never cheat on him with my best friend. I mean I have known my best friend for over 7 years so nothing would ever happen. I guess we are both lucky to have husband like we do that understand and are comfortable with another guy being home alone with his wife.

2006-08-07 17:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by Nicalo22 4 · 2 1

I'm not married, and I'm a woman, but I'm going to imagine I'm a married man. I would NOT feel comfortable with my wife sleeping in the same bed as her so-called platonic best male friend.

The main reason is simply becuase it's inappropriate and unnecessary. Sleeping in a bed with someone -- whether we like it or not -- has all sorts of emotional baggage and symbolism attached to it. And I just would feel very weird knowing my wife even WANTED to sleep in bed with another male, let alone actually doing so. Why can't the friend sleep in another bed, or on the couch, or in a sleeping bag? I would want a crystal-clear answer from my wife about why she and her friend want to share a bed in the first place, when there are other, better options.

Plus, even if I trusted my wife implicitly, that doesn't mean I can trust her male friend. What if it turns out he's had buried feelings for her all these years? And what if, one night, his feelings get the better of him and he tried to overpower my wife and force her into having sex?

I guess the moral of the story is... don't play with fire, or you might just get burned!

2006-08-07 12:33:18 · answer #2 · answered by scary shari 5 · 0 0

All I know is, if I did that to my husband, he would be p!ssed. If I were the husband, I would never let that happen. It's not that he doesn't trust you, it's more that he doesn't trust the man. I wouldn't let your male friend share the bed anymore. If you can't sleep without someone there, I suggest buying either a body pillow or a very large stuffed animal and put it on your husband's side of the bed.

2006-08-07 12:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by i_hate_subway 3 · 1 0

A cultural thing. There are groups in which the woman is supposed to sleep with any male guest the family has, no exceptions, and if the guest refuses the family feels insulted.

But that is another story. If the two of you are comfortable with that, fine. But when you play with matches, you can end up burned. Please be careful, no matter how much you trust each other (the three of you), temptation is at the door and you are taking way too much risks with that.

2006-08-07 12:35:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Many husbands would--as you clearly understand--be upset by this. The reasons they might not be distressed by it are too individual and complex to list here.

Your husband aside, why are You asking the question?

If you are hoping that he pays a bit more attention to you, this isn't the way to accomplish that.

In psychology, it is said that every problem serves a purpose or a function. You might want to ask yourself why You are sleeping with your best male friend while your husband is away.

What is it providing for you? If your husband was upset would you feel better/worse?

2006-08-07 12:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by oceana 2 · 1 0

NO. that is Unacceptable. I am a woman but I would never do that if i was married. Tell her it is unacceptable and you dont care how she feels about it because she should care how you, her husband feels. Tell her if she wanted to sleep in the same bed with different men then she should have NEVER gotten married!!! The risk is that they will have sex and there is NO reason in the world that they should or need to be sleeping together!

2006-08-07 13:18:29 · answer #6 · answered by Educated 7 · 1 0

Things happen I would not put myself in this position to possibly regret later and yes your husband is trusting but why would you want to share your marital bed with any one ask you guest to sleep some where else it is the most wise decision--no feelings could get hurt that way and you show your husband respect by only sleeping with one man HIM

2006-08-07 12:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by pycosal 5 · 1 0

I have two guy friends that I have slept in the same bed with...and it's always been fine...but now that I'm married...that would never fly with my husband. Men know how men are...so they don't trust their own best friend!

2006-08-07 12:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I think not, cant you read, most of the divorces on here are best friends sleeping with someones husband or wife.plus try reversing it.would you be comfortable knowing your husband is sleeping with your best friend. also, what happen to the couch, or plain old floor.

2006-08-07 12:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0 0

Well, once upon a time, I did, I just didnt know it. That would be my EX-wife, lol. Turns out that a couple of my "good" friends were very supportive in my absence. So no, not a chance. Oh, and Back rubs tend to turn into front rubs over time too.

2006-08-07 12:25:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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