Harmony
Cold and warmth. Light and darkness. All that lives within me. Love and hate. Loneliness and fulfillment. Can it all live in harmony? Happiness and sadness. It all lives inside. Does anyone hear me? Do you really here me? I feel it all running through me like a river.
Please let me know what you think.
2006-08-07 11:44:55 · 7 answers · asked by sarahmoonstone 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
whoa that's really cool i write poetry too but i've never written anything like that, nice.
2006-08-07 11:47:46 · answer #1 · answered by suohthedragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good, but I think its predictable. I feel you would be more effective using more unique contrasting items. Words like "love" and "hate" are so commonly used that they lose their meaning. Can you express your conflicting emotions without using those words? What about instead of "cold and warmth" you use..ice and fire. Or instead of light and darkness...hopeful and ominous.
Just some suggestions. good luck!
2006-08-07 18:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good, Sarah. Torment,loneliness,love, and meloncholy all ingredients to good poetry
2006-08-07 18:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by johnnydean86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its very nice. Add some more lines to it and publish......You'll get a lot of money girl. Its beautiful. Congrats.
2006-08-07 18:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by viddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it ok but add meaning to the peom and people will love it if it come from the ture heart of youre sole try it!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-07 18:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by Sony Dog 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
true, i can understand you. yeah! you are just like a river.flow as much as you can. ultimately, you will reach ocean.good luck.
2006-08-07 18:50:22 · answer #6 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a poet to and i like it...it is deep and truthful
2006-08-07 18:49:02 · answer #7 · answered by C B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋