Alright, I'm dating this girl, a very loyal girl, but theres this thing. She's one of these girls who tells her friends that she loves them, and she's friends with her ex's. First, I don't think it's right that she tells her ex's she loves them, even if they are her friends. Second, two of them had tried to break us up before, and yet she has admitted to STILL saying it to them.
I feel this is verrrryyy unsupportive behavior for a g/f, that she does that.
Am I overreacting? Or is the guy [me] actually right on this one?
2006-08-07 11:35:03 · 33 answers · asked by Airborne Retired 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I had the same problem with my girlfriend.. Personally i am not friends with any of my ex's.. I really don't think anyone should be friends with their ex's unless, the ex was a longtime friend and dating them just didn't work out, and both agreed it won't....In any other circumstance it is a bad idea to be friends with an ex, because one is going to harbor feelings for the other, and it will only cause problems, which there are too many to list. But some of my girlfriends ex's have tried to break us up, others have been desrespectful towards me, and another threatened to kill himself because i am with her. Oh yeah, that same guy threatened to kick my @ss because i am with her. My girlfriend is very loyal, and i trust her, those guys i do not. She eventually stopped being friends with the guy who threatened me and himself. But we have rules, i do not think it is cool for her to go out on "dates" with her ex boyfriends. Just as much as she wouldn't be cool with me going out on "dates" with my ex girlfriends. You are not overreacting, it is not cool. Trust me, if the situation was reversed i am sure she wouldn't be cool with it either. Tell your girlfriend that it makes you uncomfortable, and it is causing problems between you two, and if she doesnt change it, break up with her man..You don't need the B.S. of some ex boyfriend feeding crap into her ears, trying to break you up. Her letting that happen and not backing your relationship up, isn't being loyal to you, that is being loyal to her ex boyfriends.
2006-08-07 11:51:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you don't really have the right to demand her to change her behavior or her relationships with other people unless the two of you are in a serious relationship.
That being said, you do have to be able to trust her. If her friends are actively trying to break you up, perhaps you can simply stop going with her to visit her friends. Let her have her own time and you can spend time with your friends.
2006-08-07 11:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think u are over reacting.I think that she wouldn't like it if it was u doing all this thing with ur ex's.ask her. If her answer is that she is ok with that , let me tell u she is lying. no girl likes that. maybe u want to try doing this things and when she gets mad u could just ask her what's the bad part if she does the same thing.That's when she'll stop,and if she doesn't well let her know that u don't like what she does.Now if that doesn't stop her then u should find a girl that is interested on ur feelings
2006-08-07 11:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by chata 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm... it's not wrong to tell your friends that you care for them. And it's not wrong to be friends with your exs'. You probably dated that person to begin with because he/she was interesting. It doesn't mean once you don't like him in a romantic sense of way, you can't find him interesting and a good friend.
If her exs tried to break the two of you up before, and she still tells them she loves them, let her /know/ it bothers you. If you jump to too many conclusions and at one point burst, she might not understand where you're coming from because you never told her how it bothered you to begin with.
2006-08-07 11:45:26 · answer #4 · answered by Lucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, for one thing, it's ok to have your x still be a friend, but to tell them that you love them, I don't think so. You are right. The reason that they are called x's is because you don't love them....You need to ask yourself is this the kind of girl I want in my life, because there are so many good people out there you don't have to nor should you put up with them telling the s that they love them....
2006-08-07 11:46:44 · answer #5 · answered by katlover362004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have a pretty mature relationship, so I'd try talking to her. Tell her that kind of behavior toward exes that have disrespected your relationship, disrespects you. Don't give untimatums, but let her know what she can do to make you feel better. No one should want to be friends with some one who's tried to ruin their relationship. Maybe she just doesn't see it like that.
2006-08-07 11:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by designer_bunnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think u should worry about that im just lyk that i tell all of my guy friends i love them and my best friend is a guy and hes my ex and i say that to him and my boyfriend doesnt mind cause he knows that even though i might say i love them or i maybe if i checked guys out he knows that hes the one im coming home to. so i think thats what u should put in ur head that she might do that stuff but shell always come home to u and will always care more about u then them. i think u might be over reacting a bit. and maybe she is lyk me that im one of the guys and i only hang out with the guys lyk i might diss them but then playing around i might say "man u know i love u" lyk that. well i hope this will help u out. the best of luck to ya.
2006-08-07 11:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by janet556 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a hard time trusting her! She has a right to have friends and tell them that she loves them. there are many different kinds of love. Its not what you think. If you keep interfering with her friends, then whats the point of having a relationship? Its not what you think. See what happens if you want it to work out!
2006-08-07 11:39:36 · answer #8 · answered by redirishactress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay first of all im one of those girls that stays friends after the break up.. but me and my bf just recently(like within the past few days) got into it about my friends.. but i dont tell them i love them.. thats 1 thing i would never do to my boyfriend... especially if they have been trying to break us up.. all you gotta do is be strong and let her know what is up!! my bf was very patient but when i realized how he was feeling i put it to an end.. and im limiting my friendships with them.. and going to get more girlfriends.. so i mean.. just be there.. and TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL and if she doesnt get it.. be like look this is ****** and i dont like it.. you know.. so just be patient and tell her how you feel its the best thing to do
i hope it works out for you like it is me!!
2006-08-07 11:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by TIFFUhhNEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Based on past experience, I've learned that it is never a good idea to remain friends with an ex.
2006-08-07 11:38:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋