ive been engaged for 3 years. my ex left me and my son 3 yrs ago and found my fiancee. i keep starting to plan the wedding and he always ruins it for me. my ex and i are still good friends and i still love him. last night my fiancee told me that he will never marry me because he know that i will never be satisfied and because he knows that it wont last. he also says he doesnt believe me when i tell him i love him and hes always thinking that im cheating (i never have) im so lost i dont know what to do now. please help
2006-08-07 10:22:00 · 11 answers · asked by bh8419 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dump him first. He is on step 8 of the 12 step getting rid of my fiancee program
2006-08-07 10:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by Jeff C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you marry your fiance you are stepping into a big pile of you-know-what. You are openly admitting you love your ex still. First of all, whether you loved him or not, you should not still be good friends and have so much contact. You have not by any means, let go of this relationship. You have no right to begin a new one and drag someone else into the mess you are in. When you get divorced, you choose to let the relationship go. You HAVE to let it go, for your own sanity. Perhaps you didn't want a divorce, and I'm sorry he left you.......but if you are not over him and what happened, then you are simply with someone else to fill a void........and it will lead to disaster. You can not find someone else simply to be a security blanket for you. It's another person's life and future that you are messing with. It's unfair to him and to yourself. If you havent' been able to break contact with your ex and on top of it, still love him......then please give yourself more time to heal and move on. I know you have a child together, but believe me........most of that interaction and communication can be handled via voice mail and email. It would be one thing if you both were completely over each other......then perhaps you could stay friends. But in most cases, that can't happen.
2006-08-07 17:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just admitted you are still in love with your ex husband and you wonder why he does to want to marry you. You can not have it both ways. You may not be cheating physically but what about mentally? How would you feel if he had an ex wife and was still in love with her. If you marry him and are still in love with the ex are you really being fair to either of you?
Good Luck!
2006-08-07 17:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by chick a dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun: If you are still in love with your X, then dont get MARRIED! Marriage is something sacred, that you shouldnt just do because you want to! Thats pretty selfish on your part. Hes right, you will end up divorced. Just take things slowly, cut out ALL the talk about getting married and wait to see if your feelings subside. If they dont, then you need to move out, and move on. Obviously if the one you are with isnt enough for you (and it looks like he feels that way too) then you are both in a dead end relationship. Good luck.
2006-08-07 17:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
statistics show that 50% of second marriages end in divorce.And as well as 3rd marriages,there ain't a whole lot I can Say.I am not here to judge you as I am engaged to #3 myself.I too still love my 2nd ex,but we had a corrosive relationship and leaving was the best thing I could do.Men who are insecure with themselves or are cheating themselves will accuse their partner of cheating.If you have given him no reason not to trust you then your relationship isn't worth salvaging.Move on ,but before you do,make sure you are over your ex.No body likes to play second fiddle.
2006-08-07 17:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really srry to say but your SCREWED go bak to your ex. Leave your dumbass fiance because you dnt deserve that crap and no woman does!!! oOor your better off alone and single but you stil have to be strong for your son. keep looking for a good guy that has trust in you and that will treat you with more respect.
2006-08-07 17:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Vanessa C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Red flag! I don't think you should go through the wedding. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and if you guys don't have it, then that's a problem.
2006-08-07 19:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your fiancee is right, because you just said you still love your ex.
2006-08-07 17:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the problem "my ex and i are still good friends and i still love him" Bet your fiance doesn't know this?
2006-08-07 17:32:24 · answer #9 · answered by DEANVR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do you have no trust in a relationship then you have nothing either you or him feel very insecure in this relationship and its' showing alot. i mean you have to know that the other person is doing right enable for you to feel comfortable about yourself. remember no trust and alot of insecurity is a bad combo.
2006-08-07 17:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by oaklandolee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋