He said;he has never been jealous with other women. I know he loves me. what can we do to to change this? We get along perfect when we are alone but, as soon as people are around he starts making vulgar comments about me and our sex life. One minute he tells me he loves me and the next he acts as if he can't stand the thought of me! What do I do?
2006-08-07 10:12:05 · 39 answers · asked by whisper0530 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
leave him, he is not woth it
2006-08-07 10:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by David S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he loves you??!!! Stop the fantasy world! No man puts you down in front of other people like that. That's not love, that's a game he's playing, and you are a willing participant. Have some respect for yourself. You are hanging on to the "investment" put in to this, and the fuzzies when you two are alone, but trust me, this will never change. You are signing up for abuse and it gets worse and worse. Downing you is the first signs to control you. Then the physical abuse starts.
2006-08-07 10:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by Tracey F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he'll go to couples therapy with you and if he won't, go without him. You might think that you love him, but do you really want to spend a lifetime being exposed to this kind of abuse? It sounds as if the man has some deep seated issues and this will only change if he wants it to change. It's as if he is proving how "manly" he is by referring to your sex life and being vulgar, which also shows how immature he is - and he could and should change this obnoxious behavior. Please think about getting some help and possibly leaving him - because it will be very difficult for someone with his problem to change and you don't deserve to be treated like this. Good luck!
2006-08-07 10:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by Mother Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Saying he can't control it is a cop out. He CAN control it.
All he has done is prove that HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. People in love do not belittle the people they love.
This guy is an abuser. Right now, it is emotional. It's not much of a jump to physical abuse. You're worth more than that.
For your own health and sanity and happiness --- leave him. And, don't look back. Thank God and your lucky stars that you found out BEFORE you got married and had kids.
Good luck, Honey.
2006-08-07 10:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by #girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man doesn't really love you no matter what you think or what he says. He is deliberately trying to break you down and make you dislike yourself. His behavior either needs to stop or you need to walk away. There is no reason to put up with this. If you do you are just telling him it is ok and you will have to endure this for the rest of your life.
2006-08-07 10:17:12 · answer #5 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to figure out a way to control it or he will be living alone. If he TRULY loves you, he will not continue to do something so hurtful and embarrassing. His weak excuse of "unable to control it" is immature and ridiculous. The only other re-course is YOU be the one to ridicule him in front of his friends and family. It won't go over well...then he will know to change his habit
2006-08-07 10:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a low ego. Let him read some of the responses you get for this. Perhaps he will then realize that he needs help. Normally when people put other people down it is so that they can think it makes them look better in the eye's of others.
2006-08-07 10:19:38 · answer #7 · answered by mary c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a self esteem problem, and putting you down in front of people makes him feel better about his self. He is putting you down in particular because he knows you will forgive him when he says he is sorry. To test this self esteem...put him down in front of someone, if he gets mad, then you know whats going on. I would not stay with him. One factor of a good partner is if they can make you feel good about yourself and not put you down...it seems like he is not living up to the good part. I would talk to him and make it stop, and if it wont, there are plenty of more people who will not do that to you. It might be hard to end it, but it will make you feel better, and you will be able to find someone who makes you feel good.
2006-08-07 10:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to get out of there! He sounds like a control freak, an emotional abuser, and a potential physical abuser.
You deserve to be treated with respect. Do not accept any less!
2006-08-07 10:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
emotional abuse is usually the begining of abuse that can turn physical. u deserve someone who holds u and ur welfare in high esteem,someone who behaves with consideration toward u,and speaks of u with respect,admiration and love.hold out for that person,and when u find him,treat him the same.love is built not only of "chemistry",but respect.let this be ur guide-if a relationship makes u feel nourished,uplifted and at ease,then it is good.if it makes u feel insecure,belittled and depressed,then it is harmful.trust that there are better things out there for u,and make room for a good relationship to happen,by ridding urself of this one,which holds u back.change is hard,but the world has better things waiting-embrace them !!! good luck.
2006-08-07 10:26:07 · answer #10 · answered by Lyn K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is okay to leave a man you love. I know you hate to hear it, but if he is that unkind to you, he does not love you. He loves the idea of you, he loves having you around, but he does not love YOU. He is trying to separate you from your friends by making them dislike you. By making these horrible comments to people, he is showing you who he is--believe him. This will not get better, it will only get worse. Leave him before it gets any harder.
2006-08-07 10:18:46 · answer #11 · answered by M L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋