If you didn't have a Father or you had a terrible one, I know that feeling, I know the feeling of having that missing piece in your life. Mine was an abusive drunk beyond belief. If that is you then I'd like to share what I have learned with you. You can be the parent we never got, you can give them what we never recieved. You give them what we all wanted so badly..we all ready know what to give..it's exactly what we wanted in a father. I know the fear of being a parent...don't let that stop you...I have 3 wonderful children that I adore and just bathed in love every day of their lives...they are all grown now. I never allowed a day to go by without a hug and made them feel extremely valued and loved..love lavishly without hesitation.
Give them what WE wanted. Yes bad things happened to us..but that's not the question...it's what is our reaction to this...chose LOVE!
Do you agree?
2006-08-07 09:59:35 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I didn't have abusive father, i have a lack of father. My parents are divorced, and my father only knows of my existence since i was already grown up, so proud now to show everybody what a beautifull girl he's got bla bla. But when i was a child, he used to visit me like every 6 months. I already forgive him and we have a fine father-daughter relationship, but only now, before he didn't care. I definately will not be like this to my children - missing from their lifes. I didn't realise as a chid but i do now, i needed him. I totally congtatulate you for acting as a good parent and making your children feel loved, this is what every kid needs. If i could i would chose your question as best answer.
Keep going like this and maybe you can make other people take this example!
2006-08-07 10:12:11 · answer #1 · answered by larissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. My father was an alcoholic and drug abuser who terrified everyone who knew him. He died when I was nine. Then I had a stepfather who sexually abused me and my sister. My mother was weak and permitted these things to happen. What I don't understand is how anybody who knows how this feels could use it as an excuse to hurt their own children. Of course I knew what kind of parent to be--the kind I never had. My children complain as most kids do without realizing how bad many other people's lives are. You know, about things like not having the best clothes or their own tv or not getting to do everything their friends do. But I've made sure they are never afraid to come home or tell me anything.
2006-08-07 17:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by DJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRYING to make up for your fathers short comings.
I find you see people can have the worst Dad in the world.
In Jackson behind bars, yet because his sperm made you and your Mother kept you and allowed you to enjoy life. It doesn't matter what your father did. The dream of wishing for father knows best the best TV or Real Life DAD really affected you bad.
When you had kids you were determined to break the cycle and the generation curse. You could have been a carbon copy of your Dad and took it out on the kids and ruined their lives miserably like yours was. I take my hat off to you for being a father and a bathed in love father until they were grown. I thought being good to the children in old age they would in turn see about me and keep me out of the nursing home. Yet doing the father role and not looking for anything in return but love. I applaud you.
Stand Up and Light a Candle because my father was not the best but he did the best he could. I lost him to cancer at 18. Its been 20 years now. LOVE
2006-08-07 17:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by Nina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. I'm not going to go into the extent of what my relationship with my father is like (verbally abuses my two other siblings and my mother in addition to myself), but I definitely know what I'm not going to do when I have kids. I'm very similar to him, temperament wise, and if I don't catch myself I act exactly like him. I know what I want right now, in regards to a relationship with a paternal figure, and as a mother (in the very far future!), I'll know what not to do. Yeah. You live and you learn.
2006-08-07 17:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by poetlover22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do agree. Its sad to see that many children of abusive parents grow up to imate them and inflict the same pain on their children instead of trying to improve the situation. I congratulate you on making this change!!
2006-08-07 17:03:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Macbeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire you for a wonderful job you've done with your kids. Some people with your experience do what their parents did to them. Kudos.
2006-08-07 20:33:26 · answer #6 · answered by tyrone b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I AGREE WHOLE HEARTEDLY MY DAD WAS AN ABUSIVE DRUNK WHILE I WAS GROWING UP.
BUT I DECIDED THAT WITH MY FOUR WONDERFUL KIDS THAT THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT.
MY KIDS HEAR FROM ME THAT I LOVE THEM DAILY & I AM VERY INVOLVED IN THEIR LIVES.
2006-08-07 17:05:35 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋