oh what shall i do?!!! please help?

Question

okay here's my situation, i just turned 21 yrs. old, i have a 4 yr. old son and by boyfriend also my son's father is 22. we live at my mother in law's apartment, 3 bedroom and there are like 7 people here all together. he works a part-time i don't work.... i finally got a daycare for my son but it's from 12:45 until 4:15 i don't know what to do about money and i also want to go to school. i really need to move out since i've been living here since my son was born. i just don't know what to do with my life, and my families life either. i want to work, i want to go back to school i just don't know how i would manage.... do u have any suggestions?

Answer 1

I would call the state you live in and see if they offer daycare based on the amount of $$ you make. That's what my friend did

Answer 2

I understand that you want to go back to school, and you should, but right now might not be the best time. The best thing you can do right nowis work on getting a job so that you can save money. At the very least you should try to find something part time while your sons at daycare. Once you save up some money you will be in a better position to reevaluate your situation and do what is best for your family. Also, you should encourgae your boyfriend to try and find full time work so that you will both be in a better position financially. Explain that you are willing to work too, and try to work together to come up with a plan to work and save money so that the two of you will have more choices available and wont feel stuck.

Answer 3

I am not sure where you live (state) but herein cali, My friend is 22 and has 2 kids, she lives with her mom at the moment. but they are building these apts that are income based and they take a percentage of the money you make, and that's what your rent is. She gets money fro the county and works part time, they help her with the daycare and her rent is only $485 a month. once she starts making more she will have to pay more! But this allows her to get out and look for more full time work. You should try this with your boyfriends income so you can go to school.

Answer 4

You may try visiting your local community college. Ask about financial aid, (but avoid loans if you can...trust me...). Ask about grants and scholarships.
I was pregnant and married at 17. I hated that everyone around me expected me to sit back have more babies and collect welfare. I didn't. I went to school, got my teaching degree and now have a stable career, despite it's low pay, relitive to other professional careers. I have 4 children now from my 20 yr marriage, but am divorced.
Try and find the space and time to reflect on your goals and write them down. Include what you will and will not tolerate in terms of people holding you back.

You may also want to check into non-traditional careers/apprenticeships for women, (construction, welding, etc.). There are programs, I believe that offer opportunities for women to learn a trade that are typically geared towards men. They're good paying.

I know that work and school are impossible without reliable childcare where your child will thrive. Have you considered bartering? Craigslist has a barter board for major cities where you can, say, trade house cleaning for child care.

My best advice is don't feel that you're alone, because you're not. Many people will throw out unhelpful comments/put-downs about the fact you got pregnant. Oh well, right? You gotta do what you gotta do. You sound like you're on your way to success simply in the fact that you're thinking about you and your child's future.

I won't lie and say it will be easy, but I will say that a comfortable life can happen. Make your choices in friends, family, and partners carefully. Be sure you constantly question yourself: "Will this person and their influence on me help or hurt my efforts to improve myself?"

Again, people are going to look down on you, but it's ineffective when YOU know who are and where you're going.

Society will be unkind to you at times. You can't control this. You can, however, decide what you'll do with what you have. And this is what seperates the winners from the whiners.

You'll be okay. I know these are only words, but these words are intended to let you know that someone's thinking about you. I understand.

Good luck. Keep your head up. Breathe through the hard parts, keep your cool. Best wishes!

Answer 5

Why doesn't the boyfriend get a real job? FULL TIME pays the bills. Part time doesn't, unless you're getting paid more than $25/hr. Take it easy. Other than that, if you're planning on leaving him and caring for you and your son on your own, then seek resources through the Family Division at your courthouse. See what you can do. Try to get on a list for "Housing" so that you can move out. Your boyfriend needs to be a man. He needs to handle his business and if he doesn't, that's something that you will have to deal with because you have a CHILD.

Answer 6

talk with your boyfriend and let him know how u feel! if u want to go 2 school start taking a few classes while your son is in daycare! ( if money 4 daycare is an issue) then just wait and let his dad babysit him while u r at school! and if u decide to work apply the same principals.

Answer 7

Have you tried talking to a counselor at human services or even at the community school you would like to attend? I'm sure they could give you advice on what others have done in your situation.

I didn't have a child, but I worked full time in a foundry while going to school full time for my degree. I averaged 4 hours of sleep a night. I went to school on the weekends and studied continually even during breaks at work. I paid for my schooling as I went along. It was very hard, but I did it. When I graduated with a 3.86 grade point average and honors it was one of the happiest days of my life. So I know it can be done.

The very best of luck to you!

Answer 8

ummm go to night school, from 12;30 - 4;30 you should get a part time job, and umm why did you take your son to a day care if you was home all day??? that was a waste of money. When you go to college take out a student loan and then wisely spend the money on an apartment and then you could leave your family. or you can find a day care that lasts longer and you could work from when the day care starts until it ends then wait for your bf to get home and go to night school and don't spend money on useless things

Answer 9

Take advantage of those few afternoon hours - start working, go to school at night if you can stay where you are for a little while until you can make it on your own - if your son is 4 then I guess another year may not hurt?

Answer 10

I was in the same situation. I was living w/ my bf family and it was alot of us in the house. I decided to take action. I went to school in the day and worked part time @ night while my baby was sleeping so that my bf could be with her. Go to school during your day care hours and work at night. If you work part time @ night you'll get a little rest before your day starts again. Take advantage of your situation while you are still living w/ his family. If wont be easy and you will be tired but trust me it is so worth it.