It seems like my husband has always liked to discuss things that have to do with "money" all the time.Its like everyday of the week he has to tell me what we are going to do about the money that we earn before we even get paid.He works two jobs right now, but still, that does not mean that he has to talk about money every day,I mean, I'm getting tired of it.I know that this is a problem between all marriages, but in this case it's just because he wants to discuss what we are going to do with the money before we even get paid.I know that it means that he is probably trying to be ahead of himself, but sometimes I am not in the mood to hear "money" talking.
2006-08-07 09:49:07 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would just like to know what the best way to talk to him about this is. Any advice or suggestions?
2006-08-07 09:49:34 · update #1
If you hadn't said "husband" I would have thought it was my guy writing about me...
I think I am obsessed about the money thing because my parents were never any good at managing money and I feel like it made our lives worse. Also, I work 2 jobs too and I feel like if I am going to put out all this effort, I want to make sure we make the best decisions possible.
What did my husband do? He took over paying all of the bills. It was hard for me to agree to that, but I could see that the constant money talks were not just hurting our marriage, but hurting me because I was creating huge anxiety for myself.
It's been 8 years since he took over the bills and I still want to have money talks, but it's over bigger picture stuff. (I used to talk to him about $1 ATM fees and made a map of where he could use the ATM free to keep in his car - yes, I was nuts)
2006-08-07 10:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Zana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could suggest sitting down and developing a long-term plan for spending and for savings - then maybe he wouldn't feel he had to talk about it every day. And come up with a budget that has categories - if you've agreed to spend $135 a week for food, shouldn't need to discuss the price of celery. Figure in entertainment and vacation costs - then these would be something that maybe you could enjoy talking about frequently.
He sounds a little obsessed with money. Or maybe he's just really worried about the future, and about having enough to live on - he's probably not working two jobs just because he enjoys working so much. If neither of you have had problems spending wisely in the past, he shouldn't need to talk about it every day - but since he apparently does, you'll have to work him out of that gradually.
2006-08-07 16:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by Judy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about this - get a journal to keep track of all the things he has planned for the money. Tell him that you don't need to discuss it every day. He can make his entrees each day if he wants, but tell him that every 3 days the two of you will set aside time to sit down and go over the journal. That should be a good compromise.
2006-08-07 17:19:02 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
agree of disagree as the situation calls for it on how the money is spent, then change the subject to something you want to talk about. He is doing it so you will be proud of him and his hard work. He may just want you to see that. Also make a day in the week and tell him no discussions about money are allowed.
2006-08-07 16:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
Ask him if the two of you can arrange a couple hours once a week to conduct a business meeting of sorts to discuss and plan finances. Plan a budget and savings, or however the two of you do things and work the financial plan throughout the week.
A lot of men take their financial responsibilties seriously. he may be worried about not having enough to provide for his familly. he sounds like a good man. Work with him. I do agree that money being the looming issue everyday can get stressful, and boring....
2006-08-07 16:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, it's a problem in all marriages. Nip it in the bud now. Go seek a financial advisor or planner. If it gets worse, you may need a marriage counselor.
2006-08-07 16:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him money is noit everything... and that love is worth more than money and like marriage is not all about money and he needs sometype of marraige balance. if he has two jobs and you have one.. why is he worrying about it like if the end of the world is coming?
2006-08-07 17:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by adamsgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just yell at him like most women do
2006-08-07 16:53:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
money is always an issue. get used to it and accept it or it will wedge you apart.
2006-08-07 16:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋