my fiancee cheated on me and left to go off with his tart do u think that he will ever come back .?

Question

i caught my fiancee out having an affair behind my back i dont know how long it was going on but he left and couldent even face me to tell me i loved him so much it was killing me the pain i would like to ask anyone will he ever come back or will i ever get over him and get him out my head as it realy knocks u mental he said to me it wasent ment to happen that she was supposed to get dumped but at the end of the day its her that hes away with. do u think its a middle age crisses. I just cant beleive i miss him so much and i still love him i must be crazy but will the pain ever go away.

Answer 1

Why would you even want to consider taking him back? He's destroyed whatever love, trust and respect he had for you by doing this!!
I dont believe people enter an affair lightly and its also a conscious desicion that they make to do so, but as often as not they say it wasent ment to happen, well they can always say no cant they? If it wasent ment to happen then it would 'never have happend' in the first place.
Of course he should have told you how he was feeling about your relationship long before he entered into another one with someone else, and if he felt even then he no longer wanted to be with you or to work at trying to improve your relationship together he should have said that at the very least.
I know its a very difficult time you are going through just now and made all the more harder and painful because you are still in love with him, however, once you begin to realise that he didnt really love or respect you, because if he did he would never ever have done such a thing to begin with, I think you will come to understand its probably for the best, even although it hurts like hell just now and you think you'll never get over this, over the comming weeks the hurt and pain will subside a bit and through time your healing will get better as you become stronger and more able to deal with the issues surrounding your break-up.

Sometimes people have to go through several relationships in their lives to finally get to meet 'the one' even if it involves broken engagements and marriages. Not all relationships are ment to last and your best finding this out now rather than wasting years and years of your life on this or remaining in a unhappy marriage you maybe feel oblidged to remain in, simply because your married to him because more often than not that only makes things worse. Would you want to be a doormat and living a life of broken trust and uncertainty for the rest of your life while your husband is probably at some point, going to go behind your back chasing another bit of skirt, because be assured he's only going to get better at hiding it by going more underground.

His actions alone should be telling you, that he was not right for you and he cannot be trusted. You deserve better, and im sure one day you will meet the right person and live a happier and more loving life with someone else in the future. Dont give up hope of a better future with someone else one day . Remember often things like this happen for a reason and sometimes that reason may well be a blessing in disguise...you just dont know that yet.

Take care

Answer 2

#1: An affair implies more than just a one time fling. This is a serious problem. You should consider yourself lucky that you found out now, rather than after you were married. Decide to push this guy out of your life. Cheating never happens randomly, it always forms a repeatable pattern.

#2: It is amazing how we still love someone who has hurt us. But you must be responsible for yourself and not let the love cloud your judgement. Your fiance basically committed adultery - do you want that in a husband? He hurt you deeply - do you want that in a husband? You must spend time each day dwelling on how MUCH IT HURTS, and not on how much you still like this guy. Keep thinking about the pain until the pain is the first thing that comes to mind when this guy enters your head. Oddly, when the pain is associated with the guy who did it, the pain will go away. The pain is floating around now unattached, so it won't "ever go away". You need to, by the power of your will and conscious mind, attach the pain to where it belongs: to your ex-fiance'. That will end the pain and make you healthy for another relationship.

#3: I had a fiance' who cheated on me. Its not all just guys who cheat. Don't let this guy cause you to hate all men ...

Good luck.

.

Answer 3

However much you might hurt and miss him, do you seriously want him back? If he was a nicer guy, he would have discussed it with you if he wasn't happy instead of going off and having an affair. Do you really want him back when he treats you with so little respect?

I know it seems hard at the moment, but you WILL get over it in time, however unlikely that feels at the moment. Find yourself plenty of things to do - keep busy but at the same time don't completely ignore the pain as that's not healthy either. Go out, try to enjoy yourself, however hard it is.

Eventually you will find that you are happy and over him, and then you'll be able to move on and look for someone who deserves you, and who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Good luck, I really hope it all works out for you in the end.

Answer 4

I went through the exact same thing however the girl kept texting me and saying really awefull things, he did come back and he's been back for the last two months. If you can try and figure out what went wrong and then work on yourself it would be best to start there because regardless of whether he comes back or not there could be some underline reason why he left. It can't just be about him leaving it's also about why he left, I say this out of experience. When he left I started to take a mental picture of what went wrong and then I began to fix myself and concentrate on what would make me a better person not just for someone else, but for me as well. When he saw the change both inside and out he was begging to come back. I let him come back not everyone would but we are still working on it and it takes time but we are commited to fixing the problem.
good luck

Answer 5

You shouldn't even care if he comes back, easier said than done. I just left my husband of 5 years due to him cheating and I will I knew before I married him. It would have saved me a lot of time and heart ache. It does hurt now but just imagine if he did this to you now. What would he do during the rough times, go find someone to make him feel better. Nobody deserves that. If he ever does come back wanting you, don't think about it he will hurt you again n the long run. He will see what he missed out on, It is his loss not yours.

Answer 6

Ok. I am going to give probably the same reaction. YOU DON'T NEED HIM!!! You need to ask yourself some questions.
#1. Since he's cheated on me before do I think he will do it again even though he says he won't?
#2. If he does cheat on me (if we do get back together) can I live throught it again?
#3. Do I think I can ever trust him again?
#4. Do I think I can find someone better who will love me and show me the same respect I will show him.
#5. Do I know I am worth it and I can do better?

Answer these questions and answer them with honesty! Yes it may take a little while to let him go and to move on. But you will!!! You will find someone who will love you the same way you do him. Just look in the right category. I mean..., you have guy friends right. Now ask yourself how well do you really know them.
Has one cheated on his girl before that you know of. Then don't go for that kind of guy because most likely you will be cheated on too. You have to be honest with yourself and what you are looking for in a guy and what you want out of the relationship. Then go for it.
I know how you feel. I am 29 and I just got married last June 2006. I dated this guy and this guy and was heart broken time after time. Then I met my husband and everything started getting better. I begin to ask myself what the hell was I doing dating all them jerks. Now don't get me wrong. We still have our fights over this and that but he does give me better respect than any other guy I have ever dated.
I know you miss him. You may miss him for a while but when you do find that special someone you will forget all about him.
The pain will go away too! Thats when you will begin to ask yourself what in the world where you doing!!!
Best of luck to you. One day at a time and yes..., you will get better in mind and spirit and when you do find him you won't worry about that jerk you were with.

Answer 7

ok, its over... You don't want to take him back you are so much better off. The pain goes away when you get out of the house off the computer and start socializing with others. Go out with friends for a night out. Flirt with someone else, don't sleep with that person but just have a good time. Remember that you are still you without him. You are a great person and he doesn't realise what he is missing believe me in a few years you will see him again and say to God "THANK YOU FOR UNANSWERED Prayers." It does get better but it all starts with you letting go. Also any songs that you have playing that reminds you of your time together let them go too. Good Luck :)

Answer 8

why would you want to know if he ever coming back again to your life?? wow, he cheating on you! can you see that?? he will do again if you have him back. he is worthless crap.

Sorry to be so honest. He should known how much that you love him more than world have giving him. and he didn't see that...He didn't see you what you have done for him. and why you chose to married him not other guys????

Lady I understand you in pain why are you letting it really eatting yoiu a live? What ever u make the choice you will either going back repeat over and over cheating plm. or you can find someone better than him.

I am a male and I love my wife more than anything in the world I also have 2 kids and 3rd one is due to March 2007... that what kind of man you looking for...

You are looking for someone to come back to your life that all you see and not see what my marriage like.????

wow, hope you make the right choice and move on.

Answer 9

Sorry to hear of your pain. I agree with others that cheaters rarely change, so you would be better off if he does not come back and his tart will get hers when he cheats on her. As for your pain, these things can be devastating; it could even take a year or two to completely get over it. This can be a time to be miserable, or it can be a time to find strength from within and to learn to cherish your own self worth an to contemplate on living your life for you. There are great guys out there (my wife found one!); your chances of finding one increase dramatically as your own sense of self worth increases.

Answer 10

if he did come back to you you would go crazy.every time he went to work or to the shops you would assume the worst.that would be a terrible life to lead.if he has been this terrible to you you must move on.he did not respect you.you are going to be sad and angry but that will pass.you deserve much better than that.try to fill your day with things to do.if you sit at home moping you will go deeper and deeper into depression.you will survive.get out there and show the world you are not a pushover.you owe yourself that.good luck.time will make you see you have wasted enough of your life on that stupid man anyway.