My girl was a couple weeks pregnant and she went to Louisianna with her sister for what was suppose to be a week. But turned out to be longer. She left on the 16 of November and was suppose to be back for Thanksgiving but she stayed until 2 days before Christmas. Everday I talked to her I asked her when she was coming home and she would say that her sister never have time to bring her back and sometimes I felt that she really wanted to come back because the way she got back was she finally took the train back to Mississippi. One day I had asked her how was the baby because It had been a long time since I heard her say anything about the baby so I had asked her and she said everything was fine and one time I asked her and she told me it was a baby no more and that broke my heart because I was looking so forward to it. She told me that she had a miscarriage when she was in Louisanna.
2006-08-07 08:28:01 · 19 answers · asked by Atl N 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Okay. If she really had a miscarriage, I'm so sorry for her. This is a devistating loss for anyone. However, this sounds a bit fishy. Here is what I think may have happened. Either she was never prego to begin with, she took a test and it turned out to be wrong, or she had an abortion and didn't want to tell you about it. Sorry if I'm making accusations, but it just sounds so fishy. Good luck!
2006-08-07 08:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn_Anne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the reason she stayed so long in Louisianna is because she didn't know how to tell you she lost the baby and was trying to avoid telling you. If u really love her, u can work this out. Hopefully, she didn't really abort the baby for some strange reason. All I can say to that is communication is a vital part of a relationship and no relationship will work without it. U need 2 find out where u stand with this girl, she might be playing u.
2006-08-07 08:48:57 · answer #2 · answered by triniallstar_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, let me convey my sincerest condolences for your loss, I can't imagine what heartache loosing a baby must cause.
I think it was silly of your gf to leave it so long to tell you about the miscarriage, however, in a way I can kinda understand...
Miscarriages are spontaneous and cannot be predicted, so she wouldn't have known before that this would happen.
Loosing a baby in this way has to be very shocking and distressing for a woman, and she probably felt that it was her fault (it's very common for a woman to blame herself for a miscarriage) even though there would have been absolutely nothing she could have done to prevent it.
I think the two of you need some time to work this through and get all of your thoughts and feelings aired. If you bottle this up, it can only lead to resentment in the future.
It's clear that she loves you, otherwise she wouldn't have kept it from you, thinking she was protecting you from hurt.
Talk to her, and try to understand what's going on inside her head, 'cos i've no doubt that she's feeling really alone and scared right now.
If you have strong love for each other you can survive this xx
Good luck for the future xx
2006-08-07 08:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what your question was, or maybe you ran out of space and it got cut off, but it saddened me to read your story. I'm sorry that you lost your child, but whether by miscarriage or abortion you will never know unless you are sure you can fully trust your girlfriend. It is more common than you may think for women to explain away an abortion by telling others (esp. parents, relatives and others close to them) that they miscarried.
I guess it is better now that she is your ex because if the two of you were sleeping together unmarried then you weren't ready for a baby anyway, much less a mature relationship. There's also the trust issue, which she seriously compromised.
I hope you will become wiser and stronger because of this experience and wait before having sex with unmarried women, even if you are dating. Dating is not commitment - it's just a testing period.
May God be with you.
2006-08-07 08:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by Veritas 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was probably very upset about it and didn't want to talk about it. If she knew that you were excited for it, maybe she didn't want to upset you. Maybe she didn't want the baby and had an abortion? I'm sorry to hear about it one way or another. It was a crappy thing that happened and even worse that she wouldn't talk to you about it. If you are really upset, see a Dr. to see what they say, maybe some counseling will help. It may also help if you could possibly get the whole story from the girl. It may clear a few things up and help you get some closure on the whole situation. Good luck and everything will be OK!
2006-08-07 08:37:11 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away, far away. I prefer to think the best of people, so I'm going to believe that this girl was simply so unstable that she couldn't deal with her miscarriage. She could have also been trying to trick you into a marriage - you'll have to decide whether that fits with the other things that you've talked about.
Either way, we choose the people that we are close to, and someone that hides this kind of information from you isn't one you want to risk your life for (and that's what a life-long relationship like marriage is all about!) It may not be her fault, but she needs to get herself strong before getting involved with somebody.
2006-08-07 08:35:44 · answer #6 · answered by Polymath 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While you are angry at her for not being honest with you, just know that when this happens to a woman her emotions and hormones can make her seem like a complete stranger, even to herself. Try to let her know that you are grieving for your baby too. Then when you feel like the time is right for you both then talk about why she waited to tell you. It might be something that you can't get past, because the hardest thing for a couple to make it through is losing a child, much less dishonesty about it.
2006-08-07 08:34:50 · answer #7 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, since I don't know how well you and ex's family got along, I can't really comment and be realistic. Although, I can give a personal opinion from assumption. To me, sounds like maybe her sister could have talked her into an abortion??? She was in Louisiana longer than expected....
Kinda suspicious or I would be anyway....
I am sorry to hear it though. Good luck.
2006-08-07 08:41:05 · answer #8 · answered by Buck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear that. Maybe she wasnt pregnant to begin with. Did she go to the doctor to confirm this? I am wondering how she pin pointed that she was only a couple of weeks pregnant....sounds strange to me. If she did have a miscarriage while she was away, she should have talked to you about it. It will be hard to trust her again.
2006-08-07 08:40:01 · answer #9 · answered by momma2jaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it sounds like she was lying in the first place. Either way though, she must not have much respect for you if she is keeping it a secret.
2006-08-07 08:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by sherry s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋